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soup row

(88 Posts)
Digggers Mon 08-Aug-11 11:06:52

a petty row that's over now, but interested on what the consensus is

me, dh and ds have half an hour to eat lunch and get out the house. I have made a pot of soup that's on the hob. I pour a bowl for me and ds, and take it through to the dining room, leaving DH's in the pan and the gas on low to keep it hot. DS is in the kitchen making a sandwhich, still so I tell him that his soup's still in the pan, point at it and that I'm going to go and eat with ds and then get him ready to go.

I return to the kitchen briefly to put mine and ds's bowls in dishwasher and then get us both ready to go. DH is in the kitchen the whole time, eating and clearing up. We get in the car and drive 20 miles, and I ask him if he remebered to turn the soup off when he got his out, because i remeber I didn't check the cooker like I normally do? He then tells me that he didn't eat any soup, didn't want any and no he didn't turn it off because he didn't go near the pan.

We then have to turn car around, come home and turn the gas off, therefore missing appointment. Apparently my fault as I left the gas on, he didn't realise the gas was on, just didn't want the soup. I think it's his as he didn't tell me that he wasn't going to eat his soup. I wouldn't have left the gas on if I'd known he didn't want it.


Nefret Mon 08-Aug-11 11:11:00

No, YANBU. However I would never trust my husband to turn the gas off so I would have checked before we left anyway.

usualsuspect Mon 08-Aug-11 11:11:17

errr ,yabu if he didn't know you had left the gas on ,he didn't know to turn it off

sweetcat Mon 08-Aug-11 11:11:39

I think YABU. All you did was point at the pan, he wasn't to know the gas was on, especially as it as on low. The guy's presumably not pyschic, sorry you missed the appointment though.

BluddyMoFo Mon 08-Aug-11 11:12:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YABU - why didnt you just put his soup in a bowl too and turn off the gas?? I would never leave the gas on anyway if the soup was done - the pan would have kept it hot enough.

BoneyBackJefferson Mon 08-Aug-11 11:14:13

i agree with sweetcat

Lulabellarama Mon 08-Aug-11 11:14:43

YABU - I would not have expected you to leave the gas on, so understand why he hadn't turned it off. Also, why would he tell you that he hadn't eaten it? It's fairly irrelevant unless you know the gas is on.

pinkdelight Mon 08-Aug-11 11:15:08

He was wrong to not say that he didn't want soup, but if you just said that his soup was in the pan, that wouldn't have meant (to me) that the gas was on, and if I hadn't wanted soup, I wouldn't have looked at it or gone near it either. So I think you were at fault, but not in a bad way as you were essentially doing a nice thing for him, even if he didn't want it. Just a misunderstanding.

GwendolineMaryLacey Mon 08-Aug-11 11:15:13

Did you actually tell him the gas was on? The way your OP reads it sounds like you just indicated that there was soup there if he wanted it and not that it was still simmering. If no then it's your fault. If yes then his. However, I would have thought that either one of you would cast an eye round to make sure that what should be off was off.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Mon 08-Aug-11 11:15:52

If the soup was hot already, why not just turn the gas off when you've dished out yours and DS's? It doesn't take long to make a sandwich, surely?

Why is DH eating alone in the kitchen instead of with you and DS anyway?

I wouldn't appreciate having a pot 'pointed to', to be quite honest. I dish out for the whole family.

I get the feeling you have bigger problems than 'soup'... confused You're not being unreasonable but I think the soup's irrelevant really.

MissPenteuth Mon 08-Aug-11 11:19:24

Sorry, I have to agree with the consensus that YABU. Your DH had no reason to assume that the gas was on. And if he doesn't want soup he doesn't have to inform you of his decision, surely.

Whatmeworry Mon 08-Aug-11 11:19:34

DH is in the right here, sorry.

diddl Mon 08-Aug-11 11:19:54


I don´t get why you left the gas on tbh-if he was making a sandwich, wouldn´t that have meant that he might not want the soup anyway?

AMumInScotland Mon 08-Aug-11 11:20:30

Sorry, your fault. You left the gas on and didn't mention it to him. Pointing at a pan and saying there's soup in it is not the same as saying "The gas is still on under the soup for you"

cjbartlett Mon 08-Aug-11 11:22:03



bananasplitz Mon 08-Aug-11 11:22:37

did you not say

" do you want some soup?"

or did you just assume he would

do you not actually talk to each other?

janelikesjam Mon 08-Aug-11 11:23:22

YABU, sorry!

Cleverything Mon 08-Aug-11 11:24:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BitOfFun Mon 08-Aug-11 11:25:54

You've got bigger problems than the soup? Hehehe, only on MN. Leave him!

It was your fault, sorry.

pinkdelight Mon 08-Aug-11 11:25:55

Don't think it's fair to say they have bigger problems. People are preoccupied and misunderstand each other all the time. It's not a big deal... unless the house had burned down

rubyrubyruby Mon 08-Aug-11 11:26:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TiaMariaandDietCoke Mon 08-Aug-11 11:27:00

YABU, sorry - as others have said - ou told him there was soup in the pan, not that the gas was on. If you said that to me, I'd take that as meaning "I see you're making a sandwich, but theres also some soup left if you fancy some" - not "I've left the gas on to keep the soup warm if you want any". I know you were being thoughtful leaving the gas on, but its not your DHs fault for not realising you'd done that IYSWIM

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Mon 08-Aug-11 11:27:52

Fair enough... grin

I put my own interpretation on it. If DH and I ate separately, it would mean we'd fallen out.

TiaMariaandDietCoke Mon 08-Aug-11 11:27:57

rather amoused that we're all on here debating soup grin Now I'm hungry....

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