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to deliberately expose my toddler to chicken pox?

(103 Posts)
hagridthehamster Mon 08-Aug-11 09:52:59

DS is nearly 2 and hasn't had it yet. A friend has invited me and another Mum round for coffee and the other Mum has said her baby has chicken pox.

I am starting a 4 year college course in September which will be intense to say the least so I thought that the likelihood is that DS WILL get CP sometime in the next 4 years so he may as well get it now whilst I'm still at home 24/7 with him. I appreciate it's selfish on my part but AIBU?

Imnotaslimjim Mon 08-Aug-11 09:54:54

Please, please don't do it. While most children go through CP with no issues at all, some, like my DD react really badly. She was on anti-virals and was close to being hospitilised she was so ill

You don't know how sick he's going to get with them. If he catches them at nursery/school then that can't be helped, but yes it is VERY selfish on your part and YABU

LotteryWinnersOnAcid Mon 08-Aug-11 09:56:43


mousesma Mon 08-Aug-11 09:56:44

I think it is fine to expose your own toddler to CP as you say they will get it at some point anyway.

What isn't OK is exposing other people to CP without informing them, and seeing as no-one is doing this YANBU.

newmum001 Mon 08-Aug-11 09:56:51

I know a lot of people who have done this, it's very much a personal choice imo. In the same situation I think I'd consider doing it too.

newmum001 Mon 08-Aug-11 09:56:51

I know a lot of people who have done this, it's very much a personal choice imo. In the same situation I think I'd consider doing it too.

altinkum Mon 08-Aug-11 09:58:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

harassedandherbug Mon 08-Aug-11 10:00:27

Personally I wouldn't do it, I don't understand why you'd intentionally make your child ill and you don't know how ill they'll be. Dd had it before Christmas when she was 4 and she was really poorly, much worse than my older two were.

Saying that however, I know people that have done this, and I know someone who's tried repeatedly to do it and her dd still hasn't caught them!!

warthog Mon 08-Aug-11 10:00:31

fine. yanbu

the older you get it the worse it gets. i absolutely would expose him now, if it's a good time.

but make sure you quarantine him after that please. that's very important.

spacecadet1 Mon 08-Aug-11 10:00:39

Both my ds have just had it. DS1 (5) caught it a few weeks ago & was bit poorly but not too bad & didnt have too many spots. He then (inevitably) passed it on to DS2 (just 1) who is currently covered from head to toe, scratching like a dog with fleas & really sad, miserable & v cranky. If you could guarantee he would be ok with it I'd say why not (obviously no guarantees) but not sure I could deliberately go to someones hoping they'd catch it now I know how bad DS2 has been (& still is). Understand your reasons though. Probably not much help!

MissJanuary Mon 08-Aug-11 10:01:06

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

PIMSoclock Mon 08-Aug-11 10:02:03

I don't think you are being unreasonable, the severity of the illness gets worse the older you get. I have known many adults who caught it and were really ill!
I understand other posters concerns about bad reactions, but that would have happened anyway and is pretty unlikely in children bur more likely in adults.
I have tried to expose ds2 to the pox but he's just not catching it!!
Hope the pox party goes well!! Chances are She's prob not contagious anymore anyway x

hagridthehamster Mon 08-Aug-11 10:03:41

Thank you Miss January, I'll send them over to you then will I? What's your address and I'll get them couriered over hmm

Cheria Mon 08-Aug-11 10:05:42

In France children get innoculated against chicken pox at 12 months - isn't that the case in the UK? Does the vaccination not work?

altinkum Mon 08-Aug-11 10:07:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PIMSoclock Mon 08-Aug-11 10:07:16

Laughing at the 'you are the worst mother in the world by deliberately exposing your child to disease' posts
They must send their children to completely sterile schools and nurseries etc
Disease is all around us. Controlled exposure is no different to inadvertent exposure. They would get it anyway, unless you are planning to keep dc in a bubble forever!

If your child is in anyway unwell at present or has any other health problems I would not expose and talk to ur gp, otherwise as I say, hope the pox party goes well smile

Jacanne Mon 08-Aug-11 10:08:19

I think it's something you should be careful about - it's not always a mild illness for all children. I have a friend who was of a like mind to you and exposed her children to CP happily. When they finally caught it (and not through intentional exposure) they were both really ill with it - they had spots on every part of their body, in their mouths, genitals, ears - they both had very high temps and had chest infections afterwards - I remember her being so relieved that they hadn't caught it because of deliberate exposure because she says she would have felt so guilty about it.

hagridthehamster Mon 08-Aug-11 10:08:41

No vaccination in the UK for chicken pox.

It's just that he's got 3 big sisters at school so is pretty much guaranteed to get it in the next 4 years anyway, so why not get it over with whilst I'm not stressed out of my head with college work.

kittensliveupstairs Mon 08-Aug-11 10:11:56

I can sort of see your point, but I do think YABU. I had a friend whose DS got the pox, she asked if I wanted DD to go over to play and get it. As it turned out we weren't able to go. Her son died of complications related to CP. DD was vaccinated ASAP afterward.
This was not in England or the UK by the way.

altinkum Mon 08-Aug-11 10:12:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kveta Mon 08-Aug-11 10:13:09

there's no guarantee he'd go down with it btw. my DS (nearly 2) was at the childminders with 2 other children, one of whom he is very fond of - they actually kissed eachother goodbye in the afternoon at pick up (cute, but a wee bit snotty). All 3 had also been at playgroup the previous week and pottering around together.

the following day, the child he's kissed developed chicken pox, and was quite bad with it - plus it turned out a couple of kids at playgroup had gone down with it too.

now, 4 weeks on, neither DS nor the other child at the CMs have developed chicken pox.

that said, I wouldn't deliberately expose him to it, no matter what the cicumstances. too big a risk!

Flowerista Mon 08-Aug-11 10:13:30

From a purely practical perspective I can see why you're considering it, especially as if you are my age it's the sort of thing my mother and her sisters would have done. However, CP is a miserable time for a child and horrid for a mum to watch as there's so little you can do to help them. It only lasts a few days if youre lucky and in a 4 year course youll be able to make that up.

catwalker Mon 08-Aug-11 10:13:32

Chickenpox as an adult can be awful. I got it in my late twenties and gave it to my then boyfriend and flatmate. Flatmate and I were quite ill; boyfriend was desperately ill and every available bit of skin was covered. HOWEVER, at least two of us had had chicken pox as children - the doctor confirmed it is possible to get it twice, especially if the first time has been quite mild.

So while I understand the desire to get chicken pox over with, there's no guarantee that your child won't still get it later. It can leave quite nasty scars too.

Iggly Mon 08-Aug-11 10:13:35


There's no need to do it deliberately, you can just wait and see what happens surely? Controlled exposure is different IMO - you teach your kids to wash their hands etc - or would you deliberately expose them to every germ going hmm

It just seems a bit selfish - some other illness might come along and interfer with your life, you can't plan everything.

altinkum Mon 08-Aug-11 10:14:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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