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To not pay for dc friends mum to come on a day out.

(55 Posts)
nojustificationneeded Sun 07-Aug-11 19:01:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EndoplasmicReticulum Sun 07-Aug-11 19:03:16

Say "If you want to come too you will need to pay for yourself".

She is being cheeky, but you have to tell her. The other option is that you pay, and silently fume.

throckenholt Sun 07-Aug-11 19:03:51

You know you're not being unreasonable.

I would have been speechless if it had been me.

Gastonladybird Sun 07-Aug-11 19:04:23

Yanbu re paying for her- dont know bout paying for kids as not sure what general etiquette is but your approach sounds fair.

feckwit Sun 07-Aug-11 19:05:23

I would tell her you have paid upfront ;-)

SandStorm Sun 07-Aug-11 19:06:24

TBH if she does go I would expect her to pay for her children too if she's not a close friend or doesn't have any financial troubles.


fedupofnamechanging Sun 07-Aug-11 19:06:28

Agree that you have to tell her she will be paying for herself. Some people just take the piss and you have the choice to either let her or not.

If she does come, then at least the kids can pester her in the gift shop and not you. taking them out for the day doesn't mean buying them everything they want. That's their mum's job grin

catsareevil Sun 07-Aug-11 19:06:44

If she was going then it should mean you paying less because in that situation I would assume that she would pay for her daughter rather than stand there and expect you to.

imogengladheart Sun 07-Aug-11 19:07:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

unfitmother Sun 07-Aug-11 19:07:27

Was she being serious?

FabbyChic Sun 07-Aug-11 19:10:16

You say can you make sure you send them with money for the shop.

nojustificationneeded Sun 07-Aug-11 19:13:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fedupofnamechanging Sun 07-Aug-11 19:15:16

Tbh, I think I'd cancel and just take my own DC. This sounds too much like hard work.

LineRunner Sun 07-Aug-11 19:19:11

Over the years I have descended into utter confusion with friends, children, trips, invitations and money!

You just need to be clear from the start what the invitation entails and what it doesn't, because some people have trouble understanding basic manners unfortunately.

ImperialBlether Sun 07-Aug-11 19:22:29

Yes, I'd do that, Karma.

When she said that about it being more expensive for you if she went, why didn't you say "How do you mean?"

You really shouldn't have to say, "It's my treat, but he'll need some money for the shop" - she should know that he'll need money and she should offer to pay for his ticket anyway.

TheMagnificentBathykolpian Sun 07-Aug-11 19:28:27

"No, it doesn't. You don't expect me to pay for you, do you?"
"No. You'll be paying your own way, obviously."

nojustificationneeded Sun 07-Aug-11 19:35:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HerHissyness Sun 07-Aug-11 19:36:48

jesus, if she came, accompanying her own DD, she'd be paying for herself AND her DD, surely?

The cheek of some people!

ImperialBlether Sun 07-Aug-11 19:38:06

I would ring her and say, "The children haven't brought any money with them for the shop. What do you want to do about that - my children have saved up £5 each to spend there."

See what she says.

PfftTheMagicDraco Sun 07-Aug-11 19:41:42

Yes, I agree. If she is coming, then it turns into 2 families on a day out, and she should pay for herself and her child/ren.

If you were taking my child, I would offer to pay for them.

lagrandissima Sun 07-Aug-11 19:43:31

Agree with Pfft. She's taking the mickey!

DizzyKipper Sun 07-Aug-11 19:50:23

If she's going to be there then she should be capable of paying for her own children, why should you have to pay for them when she's actually there?

DillyTante Sun 07-Aug-11 19:55:33

Well, if you invite the child then it's right you should pay, but if she is coming to you are right, it's like two families going out. She is being v cheeky. Not sure how you can deal with it though.

foreverondiet Sun 07-Aug-11 19:57:50

I agree, if you comes I'd expect her to pay for her own DD. The quip back to hers would have been, "no if you come I won't be paying for your DD"

TheMagnificentBathykolpian Sun 07-Aug-11 20:21:17

Perhaps she cannot afford it but doesn't want to say that to her child, so is putting it that she doesn't want to cost you money?

Relying on the child to not think that she could just pay for herself!

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