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To be missing DD?

(9 Posts)
CardyMow Sun 07-Aug-11 00:02:57

DD is 13yo. Her father lives 500 miles away from me in Scotland. We were both very very young when I had DD (Me 16.8, him 16.11). He wasn't involved until she was 12yo, at all, then we got back in touch through fb and he started phoning her. He has been very good, phoning 1/2 a week ever since, and today, for the first time, him, his wife and his 2 dc have come down from Scotland to spend a week here getting to know her.

She's staying the night in their caravan. And I miss her! Tbh, she only goes on sleepovers with her friends 2/3 nights a year, so I'm just not used to her not being here. But the house was far quieter than usual (despite 3 other dc!), and I miss my goodnight hug! AIBU to be such a wussbag about missing her?

And, of course, she thinks dad and his DW are the best thing since sliced bread because dad's DW shares her love of shoes & clothes (and has spent money on DD today on both) and dad's DW is taking DD horse riding this week. Which I can neither afford or get DD to as I don't have a car (me, jealous much? that she can do things with DD that I CAN do and would love to do but can't IYSWIM). AIBU to have a touch of the green-eyed monster that they are going to get to take her horseriding and to Legoland, that I'll never be able to do due to crappy epilepsy no car.

AIBU to also think that DD's dad deciding now, after 13.5yrs that he would like to pay some maintenance(!) is a bit fucking late?? Yet still very appreciated as I'm now a lone parent...

Yet I KNOW them getting to know each other is the very best thing for DD. I really totally truly do.

<<Tears hair out at own jealousy, general wussbagginess at missing DD after only 5 hrs, and waiting 13yrs for maintenance....>>

GlitterySkulls Sun 07-Aug-11 00:09:49

yanbu to be missing your DD. you've had sole responsibility for 13 years, of course you miss her !!

re- jealousy- i can see why you are, but, honestly, don't be. your DD is so enamoured because they're a novelty, that's all smile

maintenace- yeah, i get why you're fucked off slightly annoyed, but at least he's agreed to pay up now, eh?

tethersend Sun 07-Aug-11 00:13:26

She will be missing you too... even if she's having a lovely time. Nobody can replace you smile

YANBU.

But at least he is paying now, and it is a good sign I think that they have come especially to get to know her. A lot of blokes who fathered a child so young and then lost touch wouldn't want to know.

I hope it all works out smile

CardyMow Sun 07-Aug-11 00:20:33

Tethers - Anyone prepared to bankrupt themselves to buy her a blackberry Kurve would replace me atm. And he probably will. hmm

CardyMow Sun 07-Aug-11 00:23:00

Ali - It is going well, better than I even hoped. I think it's just taken him a lot bit longer than me to grow up. I didn't have a choice, really. And his wife is lovely.

GlitterySkulls Sun 07-Aug-11 00:23:33

ah well, if he really does that (buy her expensive things) then smile & let him.
when your DD is older she'll realise that he was just trying to buy her affection, whereas mum did all the hard graft.

snippywoo2 Sun 07-Aug-11 00:27:40

Totally get where your coming from and you will probably find that DD will be full of how great dad and wife are for the next few weeks but its a novelty I cant see them being able to treat her like this too often as they have 2 kids of there own. Let her bask in her new found extra family, its about time her dad paid her some attention after 13 years. Even though at the moment she may think he is the best thing since sliced bread she knows you are her mum and you love her and you are the most stable thing in her life.

tethersend Sun 07-Aug-11 00:31:24

She'll do everything to make you believe that, Loudlass grin

Teenagers would rather die than tell their parents that they need them. But they do. I bet she's missing you. But she probably won't tell you that wink

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