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OK - quick etiquette advice after a bit of a cock up if you can be bothered (this is not very interesting).

(50 Posts)
CRS Sat 06-Aug-11 21:45:31

I am a teacher. Every Summer, I write a list of kids who have given me gifts and what it was so I can send thank you cards out in September. This year, it's finally happened - I've lost the bloody list!

So I now have 3 options as I see it.

A: Get a class list and see if I can remember which kids gave presents and send cards to them not specifying the gift, and pray not left anyone out.

B: As above except thanking for specific gift in the cases (most) where I know who gave what, and just a thank you if I know a gift was given but not sure what, and still risk missing someone out.

C: Send no thank yous for fear of offending someone who I have inadvertently left out, but feel rude and ungrateful forever.

Which is best, or alternatively, am I missing a better solution?

MissVerinder Sat 06-Aug-11 21:47:07

Send a thank you to all of them but not specifically for gifts/cards buy for trying hard and being good?

Presuming they did...

tethersend Sat 06-Aug-11 21:47:19

C.

Now go and enjoy your holiday grin

moonstorm Sat 06-Aug-11 21:47:36

Give a generic card saying you've lost the list, 'thank you' and please let me know who gave what so I can give a personal thank you?

belledechocchipcookie Sat 06-Aug-11 21:48:00

B. Write a general: 'Thank you so much for your lovely gift, I looked at it over the summer and it made me smile.' Parents don't talk to each other (usually).

Ragwort Sat 06-Aug-11 21:48:08

What about a general thank you to all members of the class - wishing them a good next year, thanking them for their enthusiasm as class members and for the very kind cards and gifts ............

<said as a mum who never gives teacher presents grin>

Cleverything Sat 06-Aug-11 21:48:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

timidviper Sat 06-Aug-11 21:48:52

In all the time my DCs were at school I never once got a thank you (other than verbally on occasion) for end of term gifts. I think it's extremely nice of you to do it but IME is not an expectation so I would just leave it. I doubt anyone would notice.

AgentZigzag Sat 06-Aug-11 21:49:13

D: Pour another large glass of wine and forget all about work.

(A would be the best option I think)

sherbertdipdab Sat 06-Aug-11 21:49:28

gosh I think you are a very nice teacher.

Having taught KS2 for 10 years I have never written any thank you cards!

I do open the present in front of the child and say thank you, give a big smile and always found it was all that was needed.

Umm in your situation I'd do B.

snippywoo2 Sat 06-Aug-11 21:49:55

my kids have never expected a thankyou card from their teachers I dont think any kids do just forget about and enjoy the holidays the new term will come round quick enough

rubyrubyruby Sat 06-Aug-11 21:50:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

browneyesblue Sat 06-Aug-11 21:51:02

Agree with MissVerinder - just write to everyone mentioning how much you enjoyed teaching them and giving a general thank you to everyone who sent kind wishes, cards or gifts.

whackamole Sat 06-Aug-11 21:51:29

Well, if you will be having the same children in your class next year do a generic thank you to all of them.

Otherwise, don't bother. My mum always bought our teachers presents at the end of the school year, and aside from a verbal thanks on receipt we never got anything else! Generally, if you thank the person at the time I wouldn't send a card to anyone.

LineRunner Sat 06-Aug-11 21:52:14

Dear Child,

Thank you so much for being in my class last year. You were all wonderful. Thank you also for all the lovely goodbyes I received, as well as my lovely hugs, cards and gifts. I am very grateful to you all for being so kind to me on our last day, and I shall treasure the memories of all our time together.

Yours sincerely,

Miss Flighty.

eaglewings Sat 06-Aug-11 21:53:22

OK, it is nice to get a thank you note, but you should be making the most of the rest you have over the summer.
Go for C

AgentZigzag Sat 06-Aug-11 21:54:56

If all of them didn't give you a gift, is it worse to leave a DC out, or give one a thank you card when they didn't get you anything and they go home and tell their parents you expect a present at the end of term?

ivykaty44 Sat 06-Aug-11 21:56:40

send a thank you to each and every child in the class for something you like about them rather than the actual present the parent purchased

kittensliveupstairs Sat 06-Aug-11 21:57:25

Bloody blimey, DD has never received a thank you note, despite being an arselicker giving every teacher she's ever had a present.
Stop stressing and get on and enjoy the holidays.

CRS Sat 06-Aug-11 21:57:31

I like option D! grin.

My mother was VERY strict about thank you letters when I was a child, and I still haven't got over it - there are always about a million quite a lot of thank you cards in the house for a range of situations!

I like the idea of the "thanks to all kids, and for the lovely cards and presents" idea - but a bit worried that this would then look like I was making some kind of pointed comment to parents who don't do teacher gifts!

Arrrggghh! The social minefield just got worse! wink

SandStorm Sat 06-Aug-11 21:58:27

How about a sign to stick on the door at the beginning of term:

"Mrs X would like to thank everyone for their kind gifts at the end of term and wishes you all a very happy and successful new year"

That's been done at dd's school and all were happy with it.

CRS Sat 06-Aug-11 21:59:06

Oh - I missed some posts there! Am now worried that many parents over the years have thought I was a complete bloody freak on receipt of thankyou card!

beanandspud Sat 06-Aug-11 21:59:44

Wait for at least 3 weeks as the lost list will turn up eventually and you can write the thank you cards in a mad rush at the end of the holidays?

DumSpiroSpero Sat 06-Aug-11 22:01:24

I really wouldn't worry too much tbh. We put a fair bit of time & effort into getting something suitable for DD's teacher at the end of the term as she was particularly fab, but it wouldn't have even occurred to me to expect a thank you card (and I'm quite fussy about them generally!).

LynetteScavo Sat 06-Aug-11 22:03:53

You are over thinking....they will all have forgotten they even gave you anything by September.

LOOK WE HAVE AN ETIQUETTE TOPIC

B sounds like the bet option to me.

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