To expect ExP to share the parenting?

[hiddenhome]

He only sees ds1 during school holidays due to him moving so far away when he was a toddler.

At New Year ds1 decided that he wanted to remain at home with us due to some favourite relatives visiting from abroad and he wanted to see them rather than go to his fathers. His father was really annoyed with him and made his life a misery over the phone for about a week - guilt trips etc.

Now, ExP was meant to have ds1 for three weeks during the summer holidays. He's been there for two weeks and is now returning him on Monday He didn't even ask if we were in or going away or anything, ds1 just texted me to say he'd be returning. I said fine of course, but it's still a cheek isn't it?

He doesn't pay child support either.

[Mitmoo]

If he doesn't want DS then why would you want him to have him? Have you spoken to your lad, what does he want? How old is he? From my own experiences of having a pretendy Dad who only wants him when he wants him which isn't very often, forcing a child on him when he can't be arsed is just bad for the child.


It's not fair, I grant you. My ex has never had my son for a week, and even a day out has regularly turned into me needing to rescue him.

Some exes are useless wankers sadly.

[hiddenhome]

I want him to have him because he takes little enough responsibility for him as it is. I would appreciate the rest tbh and perhaps get some work done around the house whilst he's not around.

ds1 is 12. His father spends his life slagging me and dh off, but still expects me to pick up the pieces when he can't be bothered or it's inconvenient for him to have him. We have no other childcare.

[Mitmoo]

I am not disagreeing the ex is an irresponsible pain in the bum, but if your son is not wanted by his father, then surely as the responsible parent, you bring him home and give him the security of being with a parent who loves him and is a real parent 24/7 rather than one who just wants to play at being a parent and fails?

I'm not defending your ex my ex is equally useless but ultimately, your ex will lose out as your son will get fed up with him and he'll appreciate your unconditional love forever more.