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To think three or four years in Oz is a good idea?

(48 Posts)
GhoulLasher Sat 06-Aug-11 17:56:04

We've been offered the chance to head a creative project in Adelaide.

Dh is from there and I know it well...we have 2 DDs aged 7 and 3....my biggest worry is that they'll be unsettled when we come back.

There's no chance we would stay once the project is over as DH has a teenage DD here in the Uk and he (and I) don;t want to become estranged from her...she was fine about the possibility and expressed a desire to come over for a year before uni.

But school for the DDs is a bother...we would be returning in time for DD1 to do her final year in a UK primary school or to sart in her first year of a high school...she would have to make new friends and have a new system....am I being silly? WOuld it be more beneficial than damaging to her? Younger DD would be in year 3 when we came back I reckon...or about begin it

I am so on the fence I feel quite ill...in theory it should be an amazing chance for the DC to travel and live a bit...DH is keen....what to do? My Mum is a bit hmm abut it all......

GhoulLasher Sat 06-Aug-11 17:57:32

The project is very exciting and would give us the chance to work in the indigenous community....the DC would have an amazing chance to see another life...but what about returning?

squeakytoy Sat 06-Aug-11 18:01:06

Go for it. Once in a lifetime opportunities are exactly that, and they do enrich your life too. It will be an education itself for your children and they will carry that with them for the rest of their lives.

EuphemiaMcGonagall Sat 06-Aug-11 18:04:09

Do it! What a fabulous opportunity! Kids will be fine - it would be worse to deny them this experience.

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy Sat 06-Aug-11 18:04:15

Go for it!

None of can accurately predict the future but one thing's for sure - your dds and dsd, together with your dh and yourself, will benefit amazingly from the experience.

Set your dm up with Skype before you go, and plan a trip (or several) over for her during your stay - chances are she won't want to go home grin

GhoulLasher Sat 06-Aug-11 18:04:18

I know what you're saying but it's so far removed from what I had planned....I had this "English Village childhood" planned.

And it won't be like that....I'm afraid of coming home with 2 little Aussie kids...the kids in Oz are so different...

scotchmist Sat 06-Aug-11 18:06:24

well i would deffo go for it, its the chance of a lifetime, the oz education system is on a par with the UK and if your DD1 is still in primary school when you get back then the move to secondary wont be a problem, its not as though they are missing important exams and it will be a great experience for them, your mums bound to be a bit hmm because she will miss her GC.

EuphemiaMcGonagall Sat 06-Aug-11 18:06:59

YABU to have life planned. grin It doesn't work that way - things change and opportunities we hadn't expected come along, and we bend to accommodate them.

Go - before I slap you because I'm so envy grin

squeakytoy Sat 06-Aug-11 18:08:09

An english village childhood is very very restricting to be honest. I know which I would rather have done as a child.

GhoulLasher Sat 06-Aug-11 18:09:36

Oh bugger.

I'm scared.

Do any of you have kids who are secondary age? with the benefit of hindsight...would you advise it?

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy Sat 06-Aug-11 18:12:41

Sometimes things don't go to plan, but I've found that they often don't go to plan for a reason and that reason can lead to more enriching experiences than if a predicted course had been followed IYSWIM.

You'll be coming home with 2 medium size kids who've spent a few years in Oz and have had their horizons considerably broaded because of it, and there's absolutely nowt wrong with that.

You've been offered an opportunity that's not to be missed, and there'll still be time for the 'English Village' experience if that's what you want for your dc.

GhoulLasher Sat 06-Aug-11 18:14:24

True. They'll be 7 and 10 when we come back....not very big at all.

Oh dear.

Eek.

squeakytoy Sat 06-Aug-11 18:16:41

My cousins went to live in South Africa when they were 2 and 5, and came back aged 7 and 10. Both soon fitted in into a very rural village in Cornwall and had no problem making friends because other children are naturally curious and want to make friends with others who have had "exciting" lives. That is nature.

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy Sat 06-Aug-11 18:19:20

It seems you're projecting your fears and that's understandable given that it's a move that will require a load of organisation, especially if you have a house to sell or rent out.

However, I think that you know that the pros far outweigh the cons and that, when you return to these fair shores, nothing much will have changed in your absence and you'll all easily pick up where you left off.

GhoulLasher Sat 06-Aug-11 18:22:20

Thank you Squeaky...I love true life tales which I can compare to!

I know you're all talking sense. I'm just naturally wimpy cautious. grin

travailtotravel Sat 06-Aug-11 18:22:28

I am apply to work in Oz for two years. And I am worried about what it will do to my DH grin.

My rationale is that I would be mad not to try - what's to lose? We come back - so? We know how to live here!

TheOldestCat Sat 06-Aug-11 18:24:08

We went to Oz for three years when I was five and my brother was three. It was brilliant -from rainy south Wales to sunny new south Wales, we had a ball. We quickly settled in -both to Australia and to blighty on our return' and made loads of friends.

Go for it!

olibeansmummy Sat 06-Aug-11 18:26:12

I'd be there in a flash!

FellatioNelson Sat 06-Aug-11 18:26:15

Definitely go! Definitely. Children are incredibly adaptable, and it will be very a very enriching and rewarding experience for them. they can be hoiked around all over the place without any ill effects until they reach secondary school. By that stage it is soooo much harder - you get stuck for years on end when you dare not uproot them, because of their friends, girlfriends/boyfriends, schooling etc, so you put your own life on hold until they all start leaving school. Do it now while you can! Plus, it's going to pretty crap living here for the next five years or so....

GhoulLasher Sat 06-Aug-11 18:29:34

Thank you Cat...that's very comforting to hear...straight from the cats mouth as it were!

Are your DC older then fellatio?

GnomeDePlume Sat 06-Aug-11 18:31:48

We moved to Netherlands for 5 years when DCs were 6, 3 and 1. DCs learnt Dutch (bilingual by the end). They settled back into English schools when we moved back. There were problems for DC2 but that was the fault of a specific teacher rather than the move IYSWIM.

I would go for it. You only get one life. Before we went lots of people said 'we had the chance but it was the wrong time for the children/grandparents/cat'. None of the people we knew who had made the move regretted having done so even if it didnt work out in the end. They all felt they had gained from the experience.

Our specific advice would be:
- keep financial stuff going in the UK, it is a right pain to set things up again when you move back. Tax & NI are the easy bit. It's banks who seem to think that the civilised world ends at the channel <bitter experience emoticon>.
- dont be surprised if your DH's daughter wants to stay. My DD1 plans to go to university in NL as for her it is home.

... oh for goodness sake, just go!

Chummybud1 Sat 06-Aug-11 18:31:50

Go for it, kids are going to have a learning experience no school can teach them, wow, they will be fine

fluffles Sat 06-Aug-11 18:33:16

in my experience children change friendship groups completely when they go into secondary school so i wouldn't worry about the older DD coming back and not knowing anybody.
i run a guide unit (age 10 to 14) and so my experience of knowing girls going into secondary is pretty extensive, it might even be easier to make the transistion without baggage from primary shool even.

fluffles Sat 06-Aug-11 18:36:30

"I'm afraid of coming home with 2 little Aussie kids...the kids in Oz are so different..."

i have a friend who boarded in england while his family lived in oz, his brother was too young for school, and his sister went to australian primary school - you'd NEVER be able to tell the difference between them, they're all as english as each other!

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy Sat 06-Aug-11 18:38:07

I've had various of my Oz cousin's dgc staying over in the past few years while undertaking their obligatory Old Country/European rite of passage and they have been markedly different to their Brit peers.

IME young people from Oz/New Zealand actively engage with, and are interested in, the word around them. They are confident and capable and are a joy to have around.

It seems to me that a lot of Brit kids would benefit from a few years down under.

<<ponders making case for reviving transportation>> grin

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