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To ask whether you think this is a good poem? DD thinks it is inspired.

(73 Posts)
kittensliveupstairs Sat 06-Aug-11 15:35:05

I won't name the author but will reproduce it.

Amy was not a sinner
She was a talented Grammy Awards Winner
With her unique music sound
She broke new ground

As she stormed both sides of the Atlantic
She knew how to make audiences tick
On stage she showed no fear
Being a talent so dear

She was hugely creative
And her music was highly rated
Amy was a star
Who shone from afar

Her albums sold worldwide well
Amy's music was fantastic and swell
At the age of twenty seven
Amy joins other musicians of her age in music heaven
RIP AMY

DD has been trying to memorise it all afternoon. At least she has been quiet.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Sat 06-Aug-11 15:39:13

No, not really. If you'd said you wrote it or DD had written it, I'd not have posted.

But obviously, as a child-quietening tool, it's fantastically effective. grin

worraliberty Sat 06-Aug-11 15:45:42

How good it is would depend on the age of the person who wrote it really.

For an adult it's 'ok'....for an under 12yr old it's very good.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nancy66 Sat 06-Aug-11 15:56:45

fine for an under 10

kittensliveupstairs Sat 06-Aug-11 16:02:14

I don't know the age of the person, DD discovered it on the letters page of the Liverpool weekend echo which she found on the bus.

LineRunner Sat 06-Aug-11 16:05:06

It's delightful.

coastgirl Sat 06-Aug-11 16:17:01

By pretty much any measure of a poem, it's terrible. But lots of people like terrible poems nonetheless. Maybe encourage DD to write her own?

VictorianIce Sat 06-Aug-11 16:22:12

Come on, we should look at the positives. It nearly all rhymes....

So I suppose you could call it a poem grin

I cringe when I see poetry like this, because how can you judge it? So often you see these offerings on people's web sites commemorating the loss of a loved one, and I am sure that as an outlet for their grief it was very therapeutic. But as a creative writing major, it burns my eyes every time... People often show me their poetry and I have to try to think of nice things to say when I really just want to say 'please do not ever put pen to paper again'.

That said, if a kid wrote it, then good for them and nice to know that poetry is still a hobby because all the 'kids' on my facebook can barely string two letter together in a pretense at making words...

Mitmoo Sat 06-Aug-11 16:27:29

I don't know the age of the person who wrote it so I am not prepared to slate it if it could be a child. Poetry is about practising, finding your own voice.

So let's try to be constructive it seems as if the writer has written a line then tried to find a word that rhymes with it, and has then back written the words behind it.

fear, dear etc.

A good attempt, but work still to do depending on their age.

On a good note it is great that young people want to try to write poetry and it should always be praised and encouraged while advising on how it could be improved.

Andrewofgg Sat 06-Aug-11 16:34:25

Baldric wrote better in the last Blackadder. Remember?

Boom, boom, boom . . .

It's also a bit like second-rate McGonagall

Beautiful railway bridge of the silvery Tay . . .

Nancy66 Sat 06-Aug-11 16:35:18

if it's in a newspaper - it will be an adult. Readers always send crap poems in when famous people die.

exoticfruits Sat 06-Aug-11 16:36:11

It sounds like the sort of poem that you get on a greeting card-the sort of card I avoid.
It depends on the age as to whether it is a good effort. They certainly had problems finding rhyming words!

caffevalium Sat 06-Aug-11 16:36:45

Holy crap! That is way bad!

Mitmoo Sat 06-Aug-11 16:39:38

Andrew Baldricks poem was hysterical. I love that sketch.

Mitmoo Sat 06-Aug-11 16:40:21

caffevalium Say it like it is why don't you? wink

BahHumPug Sat 06-Aug-11 16:41:24

It doesn't even scan properly!

Argh, makes my teeth itch. It reads like it was written by a seven year old with a fairly small vocabulary and not much interest in the subject at hand.

BluddyMoFo Sat 06-Aug-11 16:41:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Sat 06-Aug-11 16:43:16

I think that 'constructiveness' can be overrated and taken way too far. These days it seems that everything, every offering, is 'fantastic' and 'too marvellous for words'.

My niece is a case in point. She was given a drawing book and some coloured pencils. She drew a few squiggles, handed it over and got rapt praise from her parents. She's nearly six and can (and has) done much better than that. She then proceeded to dash off another dozen pages of squiggles and anded them around.

I think the poem is awful and I don't think it was written by a child. I'm not going to pretend that I like it, although I would have kept quiet if the OP had said she or her child had written it.

Nancy66 Sat 06-Aug-11 16:47:09

Thickos that write poetry always think
that every line must with a rhyme link
but if you do that with every ditty
the end result is pretty shitty

....WDYT?

LineRunner Sat 06-Aug-11 16:50:42

It has always seemed to me
That I have the gift of writing really good poetry
And I will only get better and better
And get one over on NancyMumsnetter

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Sat 06-Aug-11 16:53:06

I think the current Laureate must be quivvering in their boots... confused

Mitmoo Sat 06-Aug-11 16:53:06

I think your poem is rubbish Nancy,
It doesn't make me feel all dancy,
I think my poems much better,
I'm off now to hmmmmm write a letter.

That's it.

Humourme Sat 06-Aug-11 16:53:37

Let's be honest here. Whoever wrote it should be shot.

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