my dd is 13,14 in a few months.At the moment we have set a 7.30 curfew which dd thinks is unreasonable,she says most of her friends don't have to be in until 9 which i think is too late,what do others think? aibu?
7.30 seems too early to me tbh. I can't remember what time my kids came in at that age - school days were obviously different to holidays, and summer different to winter. Do you know any of the other mums so you can have a chat about what time their kids are due in? ime my kids were forever saying "nobody's parents makes them blah blah" when in fact all the parents were doing pretty much what I was doing
I think it depends on where and what they are doing. My 9 yr old has a friend that lives round the corner so they are back and forth between our houses until 9pm although that is becase it is the holidays. On a school night it is 7.30pm even though he doesn't go to bed until 9pm anyway.
I don't want my biys to just be hanging around street corners etc when they are teens, I would rather they had their friends here or were at something specific.
I'm with Usual (again). I think 9ish is about right for 13. Certainly at 14 my older DDs had to be in by 10, but we live in Spain so much more of a night culture. DS is almost 15 and if he's down by the pool with friends he has to come in when I want to go to bed, otherwise I like him to be back from the beach/down the road by 11.
thanks thats really helpful. dd is my eldest so i have not done the 'teen' thing before.They are generally hanging around which i'm not keen on but they do go to each others houses too. I will re think and tell dd she can be out until 8 and see how that goes,then maybe let her have a little longer if all goes well.
My DD is exactly the same age (14 next month), but she does not tend to go out like that. She has lots of friends but lots of them don't live locally so it usually involves being taken and picked up, she isn't interested in hanging around the streets she tends to go shopping or peoples houses.
I do think it all depends what they are doing really and how they have to get home.
DS is 16 next month and has to get back by 10 if he is using public transport but allowed out later if we are picking him up.
I wouldn't allow just hanging around - if they are at friends houses, or the cinema, or bowling alley then fair enough and I would change times that they had to be in depending on what they were doing and how they were getting home. But I wouldn't allow hanging around on street corners etc. My sister used to let her teenaged son hang around in the local supermarket car park and I could never understand it.