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To share with you my very first judgypants hoisting about another mum's parenting?

(34 Posts)
IDrinkFromTheirSkulls Fri 05-Aug-11 19:49:21

I was on the train today coming home from work, when a family got on; mum, dad, 3 kids on foot and a toddler asleep in the pushchair. One of the little lads, who must've been about 4 or 5 years old, was a bit boisterous, running up and down the train etc but nothing too disruptive. The whole family seemed pleasant enough.

Then as I was getting off the train, the boy started to take the dummy out of his little brother's mouth, while he was sleeping. His dad said "Don't wake him up" ONCE to the lad then a second later his mum smacked the boy on the forehead and just said "leave him alone". She didn't shout and didn't hit him hard but enough to shock him. The lad didn't cry, just went and sat next to his sister with a sulky face on (as you would if you got smacked on the head!!!)

I am was so shocked that she would do that in front of a train full of people and with no warning to the little boy at all! I accept that she has the right to parent any way she wants but I just can't believe she would just do that without even asking him to stop first!shock

I really hope she sees this and thinks twice about her parenting technique!

GlitterySkulls Fri 05-Aug-11 19:51:56

not that i agree with it, but perhaps she saw the dad's comment as his "warning"?

IDrinkFromTheirSkulls Fri 05-Aug-11 19:57:07

I agree but I would expect the child to be given a chance to stop the behaviour between the first and second warning though.

Poweredbypepsi Fri 05-Aug-11 19:58:17

It's not ideal at all but if that's the worst parenting you have seen you must have been very lucky so far!

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Fri 05-Aug-11 19:58:45

Well, what did you do about it, OP, apart from adjusting your pants?

I'm not talking about you specifically but there seem to be so many mothers here, appopleptic with rage and indigation at the treatment by some to small children... so angered and disgusted that they do absolutely nothing. That's just rubber-necking and reporting back. How does it help the child?

lockets Fri 05-Aug-11 19:59:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lockets Fri 05-Aug-11 20:01:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NormanTebbit Fri 05-Aug-11 20:02:42

You know, she's got 4 kids, he's probably been a little bugger all day and I have been known to hiss violently at the older ones if they seemike they were going yo wake the baby.

It's not great, for sure, but it isn't the worst by a long chalk

grumpypants Fri 05-Aug-11 20:05:46

oh god, let's worry about the family ignoring their children or swearing at them, or leaving them at home with unsuitable supervision; let's really not worry about the family who seem nice enough but smack a child for doing something naughty.

It's actually not illegal (yet) and there are far worse things to worry about when it comes to parenting.

I don't smack; you probably don't smack; smacking is really rubbish as a parenting method, but maybe you also do some rubbish parenting amongst your largely great attempts?

HeidiHole Fri 05-Aug-11 20:08:39

Seems alright??!

IDrinkFromTheirSkulls Fri 05-Aug-11 20:09:50

You see this is why I posted...I needed everyone someone to tell me how unreasonable I am and snap me out of my judgyness wink

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Fri 05-Aug-11 20:15:20

Well done, OP. You may be 'judgey' but that means you're also 'normal' and, if you post the same thread again in an hour, you may get different responses altogether. grin

nethunsreject Fri 05-Aug-11 20:16:47

Arf at all the posts saying that it is fine to smack a kid in the face.

Seriously, ANYONE would judge that!

michelleseashell Fri 05-Aug-11 20:17:24

Once upon a time I shouted at a woman in the street for shaking her pushchair and yelling at her baby to shut up.

Now I just feel really, really sorry for her. I wish I could find her and tell her that I understand now and that I too have yelled at my baby to shut up when at the end of my tether. We're human beings, not robots and kids are wankers. Wonderful, amazing, beautiful, annoying wankers.

handsomeharry Fri 05-Aug-11 20:18:53

Definitely not okay to smack a child in the face.

RitaMorgan Fri 05-Aug-11 20:21:39

FFS, I would judge someone smacking a small child in the face!

Some people are just shit parents.

everlong Fri 05-Aug-11 20:25:18

What is worrying is that if she will smack him on the forehead in front of people what could she do in the privacy of her house.

NormanTebbit Fri 05-Aug-11 20:26:54

Where has anyone said it's fine?

Goldenbear Fri 05-Aug-11 20:41:35

Normantebit, no one said it but you offered a reason for it, surely justifying her technique due to the number of children she has is suggesting it is ok?

Op, it is not reasonable and i would've had no problem in telling her so!

NormanTebbit Fri 05-Aug-11 21:03:29

I had three children under 5 at one point and I know there are flash points when you act in a way that is less than perfect. I don't hit my children but I have manhandled them, I have thought about smacking them.

Sometimes things get on top of parents that's all I am saying.

youarekidding Fri 05-Aug-11 21:21:54

it doesn't seem like a smack to me. I like the description used above 'swat'. It is just that. She didn't hurt him.

I also agree you are lucky to have seen that as the worst parenting.

squeakytoy Fri 05-Aug-11 21:28:39

Not your child, not your business. YABU.

Popbiscuit Fri 05-Aug-11 21:48:19

I think I would be tempted to issue a warning "swat" should one of my children threaten to wake up a sleeping sibling on a crowded train or platform....Yikes! It's the parents that DON'T try to keep their kids in line in public (or dangerous places like train stations) that I worry about more to be honest. I can just picture the thread that goes "AIBU to think that this woman should have tried to stop her son from waking up his sleeping baby brother on a crowded train..."

Goldenbear Fri 05-Aug-11 22:22:56

No, normalising hitting a child in the face is a slippery slope. If i saw that on a train i would think, what an awful mum!

Goldenbear Fri 05-Aug-11 22:27:26

Oh and i have seen worse it is still wrong!

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