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To never leave my house again, never ever ever.

(269 Posts)
Megatron Fri 05-Aug-11 19:01:17

OK first of all can I just say that I am not some mentalist who normally does this kind of thing but both DC's are out for tea tonight so DH on our own.

DH has a habit of running through the house bare chested beating his chest shouting instructions (I know, I know). It's funny. Sometimes. So this evening I thought it would be hilarious if I did the same, so I duly stripped to the waist and ran downstairs into the living room waving my arms in the air shouting ....... to find DH sitting talking to the plumber who had kindly popped round to discuss the new central heating we are having installed.

I don't know which part of this whole debacle is the worst. The fact that DH just sat there with his gob wide open, the fact that I just kept running through to the kitchen then hid in the utility room until he was gone, the fact that this man is going to spend almost a week in my house shortly, or the fact that he lives directly across the road from me and his wife cuts my hair.

DH cannot look at me without pissing himself laughing and if he keeps this up I'm he's going to rupture something vital. Does anyone think there's the slightest chance that perhaps the plumber did not notice? Please?

MadameLupino Fri 05-Aug-11 19:02:48

Oh, I doubt if he noticed, don't worry <pisses self>

Unlurked Fri 05-Aug-11 19:03:08

I think you're going to have to move house.

And possibly change your name.

TheOriginalFAB Fri 05-Aug-11 19:03:33

You are my hero!!

You will be the talk of the village because you are such a good sort.

Listen, it will be old news soon. You did nothing wrong and if anyone says anything, cut your DH's bollocks off as he is all his fault.

Shutupanddrive Fri 05-Aug-11 19:04:09

Haha that is the best thing I have heard for a long time! Better get yourself a wine and pretend it never happened. Mention you have a twin sister maybe when he comes round? Haha do keep us informed smile

thestringcheeseincident Fri 05-Aug-11 19:04:55

Oh that is DIRE. poor poor you.

Megatron Fri 05-Aug-11 19:05:36

That's the thing FAB I do live in a village. It was about an hour ago and I bet every bugger knows already. I'm mortified beyond words. blush

susiedaisy Fri 05-Aug-11 19:05:37

Soooooo funny gringringrin

catgirl1976 Fri 05-Aug-11 19:05:41

Brilliant! I don't know you but I am PROUD of you. Excellent work smile

scotchmist Fri 05-Aug-11 19:05:55

i heard the outer hebrides is quite remote, you could always move there grin

picnicbasketcase Fri 05-Aug-11 19:06:31



If it gets mentioned, say you did it as a drunken dare?

BellaBearisWideAwake Fri 05-Aug-11 19:07:10

You ate going to have to spend the whole week he's there half naked in a nonchalant manner, so he thinks it's what you do normally

caffevalium Fri 05-Aug-11 19:08:12

Last minute flight to Brazil and a shitload of plastic surgery?

I love your style!

ThatVikRinA22 Fri 05-Aug-11 19:08:27

grin you made a poorly vicar grin tonight....

EcoLady Fri 05-Aug-11 19:08:53

You've just made my day grin Thank you.

I'd go for saying it was a dare.

GilbonzoTheSecretPsychoDuck Fri 05-Aug-11 19:09:22

Nothing makes me properly laugh this close to the dc's bedtime but you managed it - thank you grin

MissVerinder Fri 05-Aug-11 19:09:59

That is so funny. You're an absolute star. I'm sure he didn't notice...

Megatron Fri 05-Aug-11 19:10:14

He must think I'm mental. I just kept running and waving and shouting ....god it's too awful. Incidentally if I were a young nubile 20 year old I may not be so bothered but those days are long gone. I fear I may have carpet burns on my nipples, if you get my meaning.

joric Fri 05-Aug-11 19:10:31

LMHO!!! Brilliant!!
Oh poor you! sad

magicmelons Fri 05-Aug-11 19:10:46

Oh dear god, I feel your pain, my toes are curling with the cringyness. I know this doesn't help but it is hilarious. You need to act as if you couldn't give a toss, its the only way.


BongoWinslow Fri 05-Aug-11 19:12:06


Makes me feel a lot better about my skirt falling down at a work function last week. I made DH watch numerous reconstructions to see how much people would have seen. Verdict - thank heaven you were wearing all black with big black knickers...

I reckon brazen it out, if anyone laughs, laugh with them because it's bloody funny. That's going to be my approach. That and not wearing maternity skirts 10 months after giving birth ever again...

GilbonzoTheSecretPsychoDuck Fri 05-Aug-11 19:12:15

I just tried to read that to dh but I couldn't get to the end for laughing - he was pissing himself too very sympathetic.

notlettingthefearshow Fri 05-Aug-11 19:12:31

That's hilarious!

Your neighbour and his wife will have a chuckle and may think you're mad or may just think what good fun the two of you obviously have. I doubt they would spread the story.

It will fade with time. Not a lot you can do in the meantime.

joric Fri 05-Aug-11 19:13:00

When you see him, give him a wink and I bet you he'll never meantion it - men are after all, meant to be the 'shy' species.

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy Fri 05-Aug-11 19:13:26

You've got to leave your house no later than tomorrow morning as the only way to salvage your dignity is to take yourself off for a delicious spa experience couple of weeks and get dh to let it be known to the plumber and his wife that you've been checked into the Priory.

Or you could plant Pampas grass in your front garden.

Are you due to have your hair done soon? If so I suggest you wait a while as, if she's anything like me, Mrs Plumber the Hairdresser is going to be laughing so hard she won't be able to cut straight around a pudding basin.

<<relieved it's not just me that gets into ludicrous situations while fully half naked>>

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