We've been married 8 years with 3 children under 5. We both have the same (professional) job but I work 3 days, he's full time. On the days that I work, he does the morning nursery / school drop off. I collect, and obviously do drop off / collection on my days off (where I have 1 child at home with me).
He is absolutely brilliant as a father, so hands on, even MY parents think he's sometimes the better parent (he's really creative about coming up with games / being silly etc). So thats not the problem...
Its just that I do EVERYTHING else - in terms of organising our lives. I manage the finances - sort out mortgage (he couldn't tell you how much it was to the nearest £200!), utilities - move money around sometimes if we're getting close to our overdraft etc (so its not just a question of setting up some direct debits), insurances, nursery fees, breakdown cover, budgeting for holidays etc. I do all of the shopping / menu planning / cooking etc (I know most women do this too).
Its the extras that are starting to bug me - I organise all the kids activities, play dates, child care for holidays, days out / visits in the holidays (even for the days he's looking after them) - lay their clothes out each night so they can dress themselves, sort out everything they need for school etc.
I also organise everything we do as a couple or a family - any social nights out and getting the babysitter, plan where we're going on holiday, book that, sort out money / insurance etc etc. Currently doing a bit of decorating and he's fab doing the actual jobs but I've planned it, bought all the supplies etc.
Apart from sorting out the school run for 3 days, he just has work to worry about. I know he's busy and its stressful, but I'm getting a bit resentful that he's not pulling his weight on the stuff that goes on behind the scenes.
Am I expecting too much?
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
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AIBU?
To want more effort from my H?
11 replies
Mandy21 · 05/08/2011 08:48
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