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AIBU?

to feel even more offended by catcalls when I'm pregnant?

118 replies

GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 04/08/2011 20:53

This is totally a rant, I personally am under no delusion I ANBU.

I hate the catcalls, wolf whistles and lewd remarks I get walking down the street by men up ladders, in cars, just walking along and hate hearing them made at other women too. I get embarassed by the very occasional "lovely smile" or whatever but so angry at the number of times I hear "get your tits out" or "lucky saddle" when cycling. Usually I go red and carry on walking or whatever.

Now however I'm 6months pregnant, and most of the time I catch a man about to say something or looking at me in that way, then they see the bump, THEY go red and look the other way. However some men just don't, and have even had "wish I'd put that in you" shouted at me. I just don't get how men think it's acceptable to talk to a bloody pregnant woman that way!

And this is not a "I'm so pretty, all the men catcall me" post, more often then not I look like a right dog's dinner when I get these comments. And hate to say it, but it's usually white van men too.

OP posts:

Report

Mitmoo · 04/08/2011 20:55

I long for those days to return, too old now.

caffevalium · 04/08/2011 20:55

And this is not a "I'm so pretty, all the men catcall me" post

Of course it's not

RitaMorgan · 04/08/2011 20:58

Why on earth would you long for those days to return? Bizarre.

Yeah, yeah, women should be grateful for any male attention they get - however offensive, humiliating or aggressive.

GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 04/08/2011 20:59

oh buggeration, i was trying to anticipate those comments, never fear!

OP posts:

OnlyWantsOne · 04/08/2011 21:00

It's pretty grim.

YANBU

Tell them to fuck off.

GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 04/08/2011 21:00

that is, caffevalium's post....not ritamorgan

I do find it offensive, humiliating and aggressive to be told to get my tits out, sit on someone's dick and to be groped in the street

OP posts:

Mitmoo · 04/08/2011 21:01

I am middle aged now, do you think it I could manage to stop a building site by walking passed it, that I wouldn't enjoy it now. Those days are gone.

Having builders leave flowers and notes on my car.

It was harmless fun. I enjoyed it. It's not going to happen again.

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 04/08/2011 21:01

Just wave your little finger at them!

GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 04/08/2011 21:02

it's not harmless fun though is it?

OP posts:

BluddyMoFo · 04/08/2011 21:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lizzylou · 04/08/2011 21:04

Bloody hell Op, do they put viagra in the water where you live?

I have to say most amount of beeping/wit wooing I ever had was when I was pushing DS1 in the pram about 3mths post birth. I think that this was because I was walking like a demon everywhere so more likely to come across feral white van men and also because my BF breasts were disproportionately huge.

Mitmoo · 04/08/2011 21:04

girl wolfwhistles, flowers on cars, nice notes on cars were harmless fun, they didn't harm me, they made me smile. I'd love for it to happen now but those days are gone.

GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 04/08/2011 21:05

yeah but not the same sort of thing the women in my area are subjected to, which is what the op is about! I've never had flowers or nice notes!!

OP posts:

GwendolineMaryLacey · 04/08/2011 21:06

I had two incidences of minor road rage yesterday, one where the bloke in the car in front was yelling at me and making all sorts of gestures (he cut me up and nearly took the front off my car so I beeped him) and another bloke started hitting the car and swearing at me (he walked out in front of me in a car park, I was doing about 3 mph but he wasn't looking). Both incidences I would have shrugged off as them being tossers but, being pg they both really upset me and I felt very vulnerable. I thought the thread would be more about that sort of thing.

Are women supposed to let anyone away with crap behaviour and not say anything to avoid being hassled or what?

RitaMorgan · 04/08/2011 21:07

The OP is talking about men shouting at her in the street, not flowers and nice notes Mitmoo.

Mitmoo · 04/08/2011 21:09

RITA The OP has described some foul comments I am just making the point that not all catcalling is unwelcome.

RitaMorgan · 04/08/2011 21:09

Men don't shout vulgar things at pregnant women because they would really like to take them on a nice date, they do it to intimidate them or for their own amusement.

BulletWithAName · 04/08/2011 21:11

I generally ignore it when men do this to me, but when I'm with my DC's and it happens, it's cringeworthy.

Lizzylou · 04/08/2011 21:11

Girl, that level of harassment would really make me offended and feel threatened. I was massively offended by the beeps when I was pushing DS1's pram, because I just felt all sort of wholesome being with my baby and felt that they were sullying that. I'd never beep an attractive man, let alone ask to see his genitalia. Where on earth do you live? Those men sound like neanderthals.

I have never been a "flowers left on car" type of looker in all honesty and I was not flattered in the least by beeps/wit woos. Just made me feel self-conscious and nasty.

GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 04/08/2011 21:12

Fine mitmoo, I personally don't welcome any catcalling (well, not come into contact with any I would welcome!), so we can agree to disagree - but don't you think it would at least be disrespectful to wolf whistle a pregnant woman?

OP posts:

GirlWithTheMouseyHair · 04/08/2011 21:13

south west London...

OP posts:

Lizzylou · 04/08/2011 21:13

I am sorry that you have to deal with that Girl, I really am.

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lovinme · 04/08/2011 21:15

I know what you mean it happens to me aswell even when I'm with my DP.I can remember when I was about 12 some creep stopped right in front of me and looked me up and down and said phwoar look at that,I was sooo mortified I just stood there.

ClaireDeLoon · 04/08/2011 21:15

"wish I'd put that in you"

That's vile. No woman would ever want to hear that, it's beyond horrible. No wonder you are upset.

BulletWithAName · 04/08/2011 21:16

It's really embarrassing OP and rude, I know how you feel.

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