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to stab the next person who complains about their baby waking once during the night through the eye with a citrus reamer

(97 Posts)
MrsWifty Thu 04-Aug-11 20:23:37

With the bouts of hot and humid weather lately, I'm beginning to lose count of the number of new mums I know complaining their babies are sleeping badly and how so very tired they are. But invariably on further investigation, it seems that their precious bundles of joy are rousing but once during the night. Once!

As the proud parent of a bouncing little bugger DS who has never slept for longer than two hours since the day after he was born almost five months ago, AIBU to imagine increasingly grotesque and violent ways to respond? And can I just double check that should I accidentally carry any out, that sleep deprivation is a reasonable justification in court?

GwennieF Thu 04-Aug-11 20:25:51

Seems entirely reasonable to me. Make sure its been used on some lemons recently first though!

alphamummy Thu 04-Aug-11 20:26:12

tbh i think that is letting them off lightly. Once once??? i wont spill my tale of sleep woe but some people dont understand real sleep deprevation. oh and on that note ds 3.5 has just started crying. meh

onepieceofcremeegg Thu 04-Aug-11 20:27:21

MrsW you must be knackered. Please learn the knack of tuning out smug people who complain about minor/negative things. grin
My youngest dd took a very long time before she would sleep through, at 5 months a good night was only being woken 3 times, it's awful but it will pass.

Can you think of ways of getting more sleep? Occasionally I managed a bit of a weekend lie in and dh would remove the baby for an hour or two.

AgentZigzag Thu 04-Aug-11 20:27:39

D'y'know, DD2 has been a terrible sleeper since it's been hot...

Ouch y'fucker, that hurt!

grin

YANBU, anything that gets you through it.

Jonnyfan Thu 04-Aug-11 20:28:18

Very creative!

janelikesjam Thu 04-Aug-11 20:28:32

breastfeed ... co-sleeps ... really it works, no babies screaming in the night, hours of wonderful and luxurious sleep

no-one wants to listen though. sometimes I wonder if women want to be conventional martyrs.

TheMagnificentBathykolpian Thu 04-Aug-11 20:29:07

grin not at all. My first woke every two hours from the day he was born until my second was born 15 months later!

If someone complained that their child woke them once during the night, I think I would have chewed off their face grin

Tee2072 Thu 04-Aug-11 20:31:14

Fully justified.

It has only recently occurred to me, when witnessing the look on my sister-in-laws face when told our son (3 weeks older than hers, both just turned 2) has just really begun sleeping through the night on a regular basis, that people with children who sleep just.Don't.Get.It.

And 'sleeping through on a regular basis' really means only calls me to come sleep with him in his bed 4 or 5 times a week rather than nightly or he'll be up for 2 hours in the middle of the night.

Co-sleeping, BTW, saved my life. We only moved him into his own room in the past few weeks.

alowVeraWithPurpleTwuntyPants Thu 04-Aug-11 20:33:28

5.9years since i've had a decent nights sleep!

Ouch! It burns it burns i tells yah!

MrsWifty Thu 04-Aug-11 20:33:29

Sorry Agent, but it was primed and ready, and needed to be used.

cremeegg - DH has started to give me lie-ins now DS will happily play with him (he's also mum-clingy, sighs) and they are ace, but can't wipe the sleep debt slate completely clean. janelikesjam we do co-sleep through most of the night, and it's mostly lovely, but my back is beginning to complain a bit. And also, as sleep deprivation is clearly the only parenting competition I'm winning at the moment, I'm going to milk it for all it's worth smile

discrete Thu 04-Aug-11 20:34:47

I came here full of sympathy.

And then I read the OP.

Your FIVE month old???

<stabs the OP through the eye with a citrus reamer>
<goes back to settling 16 mo ds2 for the second time this evening>

Oh, and whoever says that bfing and co-sleeping means hours of luxurious sleep...have a citrus reamer too. I have bf and co-slept with both my dc and have not had more than two hours continuous sleep in four years.

I officially hate everyone who has slept more than that in the same period. envy

onepieceofcremeegg Thu 04-Aug-11 20:36:23

MrsW I know, it is really hard. dd2 is also a bit of a "mummy's girls" so although dh was happy to let me lie-in, she often wanted bf so he couldn't do that. I won't tell you how long it took her to sleep through (years rather than months, but that may not be your experience). I understand waht you say about the sleep debt.

Also I was never v good about going to bed early, I had already "lost" my night as it were, didn't want to lose my evening as well.

MrsWifty Thu 04-Aug-11 20:37:16

discrete - nooooo, don't say that! The only thing keeping me going is the promise it will pass soon - the soon is very important!

But I have stabbed myself in the eye in sympathy regardless. Yep, it does sting, doesn't it?

What do you think a full night's sleep feels like? I think I've already forgotten . . .

deste Thu 04-Aug-11 20:37:50

My Ds slept once at 4 months and then not till he was two years and ten months did I or DH get a nights sleep. He woke up at least six times a night.

rhondajean Thu 04-Aug-11 20:40:34

Have none of you heard of Gina Ford?

<runs away giggling, sorry couldnt resist>

Poor you lot, they use sleep deprivation as torture you know. Id say citrus reamer well deserved and also probably temporary insanity plea is acceptable.

Riveninside Thu 04-Aug-11 20:40:35

If i knew what a citrus reamer was i might poke you with it. 7 years of broken nights here. Sob.
Sat next to her right now while she yells. Sigh

discrete Thu 04-Aug-11 20:41:01

I would dream about having had a good night's sleep if I could sleep for long enough to actually dream....

On a more serious (and sad note) the last few years have made me feel so much for my poor late father, who had severe sleep apnea and could never sleep for more than two MINUTES continuously or he would stop breathing....and this went on undiagnosed for 30 years!!!

No wonder his heart gave out...sad

Can you imagine how tired he must have been the whole time?

alphamummy Thu 04-Aug-11 20:43:45

janelikesjam - how many children have you got?

do you know anything about anyones situation?!
I really glad that worked for you and you can feel so smug for that. twat

ALittleDarkAndOutOfKey Thu 04-Aug-11 20:45:41

DS1 - is now 10 and didn't sleep through the night for 7 years!!! (night terrors etc.) I feel your pain....

<hands OP a red hot poker for afters>

MrsWifty Thu 04-Aug-11 20:46:07

rhondajean - the one thing which is stopping me doing anything silly is the lack of "helpful" advice, which is solely down to the fact they all have perfect sleepers. What would be helpful is to know that they're likely to come down with some horrendous four month sleep regression, that'd learn them, but sadly I think most of them have (so far) been spared that.

discrete - that is truly terrible! Was there a cure once it was diagnosed?

ALittleDarkAndOutOfKey Thu 04-Aug-11 20:47:20

I wouldn't say it was torture as we got used to it hmm - and it was just very 'him' to do it. He still needs very little sleep even now and can't sit still. D2 (8) never treated any differently and can switch off in seconds in the most uncomfortable of places...

Riveninside Thu 04-Aug-11 20:48:16

Janelikesjam, i do co sleep. With my 7 yo. 7 YEARS. She still wakes lots and yells for hours.
What do you suggest?

AgentZigzag Thu 04-Aug-11 20:49:34

'If i knew what a citrus reamer was i might poke you with it.'

I didn't like to say I had to google what it was grin

discrete Thu 04-Aug-11 20:51:19

Yes, he slept with a CPAP mask. It changed him completely almost overnight, but sadly he had already had two heart attacks and his heart was too weak so he died only a couple of years later.

Hence I am a total nag about snoring (first symptom of sleep apnea).

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