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To be wound up about this.

(5 Posts)
Freddiesfling Thu 04-Aug-11 19:41:45

I am 28, my brother is 26. He is getting married in September this year. I am getting married in July next year. My parents are helping us both out financially with the wedding more so me as they have given my brother money in the past in the form of car loans and they bought him a motor bike. Also my parents are still a bit old fashioned and believe they they should pay a bit more for the daughters wedding.

They have given my brother a grand and a half and are due to give me around 3 grand though myself and my fiance plan to budget for our wedding appropriately on what we can afford and arent honestly expecting my parents to put any money to it as they also have to get my other brother through university this year and havent got money to burn.
My brother on the other hand is having a fairly expensive affair which they dont seem to personally be contributing much towards despite they both earning a very good wage.

I have a very good relationship with my sister in law and often socialise with her.

Anyway last week just before a night out she cornered me and said ''why do some people think it is acceptable to treat their daughter differently to their son'' My parents are struggling to pay for my wedding and my dad may have to take out a loan'' Would you treat your children differently if they wanted to get married in the future''

I was quite shocked by this as my parents are very generous with my brother, they babysit their son full time for free whilst my brother and his fiancee work full time and are always giving them handouts.

I am surprised that my brother and sister in law think its acceptable to have an expensive wedding without contributing towards it though this isnt really the issue but the fact that they appear to be quite annoyed that they cant have more money from my parents towards it does get to me a little. Also I dont want them to be resentful towards me because potentionally my parents may be giving me a little more.

It it worth telling my mum whats has been said as there may be underlying tensions simmering away or stay right out of it as it really isnt anything to do with me- I just cant understand whilst I have been brought in to it.

Tee2072 Thu 04-Aug-11 19:50:37

Stay out if it!!! And tell SIL if she has a problem with your parents she or your brother need to speak to them not you!!!

KeepingUpWithTheCojones Thu 04-Aug-11 20:01:47

For the love of god don't get involved.

It will not be pretty if you do and you risk being seen as a shit-stirrer. Not fair, but that's the way it often works out.

MixedClassBaby Thu 04-Aug-11 20:05:49

It sounds as if your parents are very generous in different ways with both their time and money. She's entitled to her feelings I suppose but I agree with Tee2072 that you're not the person she should be voicing them to.

Sharney Thu 04-Aug-11 20:06:21

DO NOT TELL YOUR MUM. I promise there will be drama! Just forget about it and if it comes up again tell her straight if there is a problem paying for the wedding they damn well should have thought about that BEFORE all the bookings were done.

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