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to chop XP balls off?

(17 Posts)
StrandedBear Thu 04-Aug-11 16:04:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DoMeDon Thu 04-Aug-11 16:07:04

I would calm down and be the adult. Why do you need to talk to him about this? He asked a question, you answered. You know you, you know the truth - who gives a flying fuck what drama this man-child is now creating. Live your life and don't get involved.

squeakytoy Thu 04-Aug-11 16:08:18

Dont get engaged in a war of texts with him.

Obviously someone is trying to put seeds of doubt in his mind, and if he was a possessive jealous bastard, he is bound to react to that.

Mrsxstitch Thu 04-Aug-11 16:09:28

OK, tempting though it is (my XH is a bastard too) violence won't help in the long term.

If he won't pay maintainance after this then report him to CSA. Let him 'prove' she isn't his. Which of course you know he can't. Poor you and poor dd, some men are bastards.

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy Thu 04-Aug-11 16:09:52

You sure would have to be one mahoosive bitch to tell a guy a child is his if you're not absolutely certain.

I'll hunt out some rusty razor blades to send you.

HowlingBitch Thu 04-Aug-11 16:11:02

What a dick.

Is that all the explanation he gave, So and so told me and I believe her? What mind boggling evidence does she have to back up her claims?

The very fact that he has acted this way says bucket loads about him. He obviously doesn't give two shits about his daughter if he is willing to cut contact with you (therefore her) over this.

YANBU <hands rusty blade>

AgentZigzag Thu 04-Aug-11 16:13:36

YANBU to be fucked off, but it sounds like he's looking for a reason to get shirty with you, nobody in their right mind would take the word of a gossip and base their life around it.

Like DMD says, you've answered him, there's no reason for you to keep on justifying yourself to this man.

If he keeps asking, just keep saying the same bland thing back 'no, The Gossiper is wrong, DD is your daughter'.

Don't let him wind you up.

squeakytoy Thu 04-Aug-11 16:14:14

The thing is, you see it happening all the time on TV. Jeremy Kyle has a paternity test almost every episode so I am told .

So yes, there ARE women out there who do lie about the father. There are plenty of men bringing up children that they assume to be their own but arent. It is not that unusual.

Only you know the truth.

If someone is told something, and the person is manipulative enough to plant that doubt into a mans head, until it is proved otherwise, that doubt will be there sadly.

I wouldnt be so quick to blame him for this. The person to blame here is the one who has told him.

StrandedBear Thu 04-Aug-11 16:15:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HowlingBitch Thu 04-Aug-11 16:30:04

He Isn't to blame for the doubt put in his head but he is certainly to blame for his childish reaction. He has been in this child's life for 17 months. Any man worth his salt would wait until he has proper evidence before cutting contact.

Stranded you need to be very calm and collected for you DDs sake here because these things tend to get very ugly very quickly. You know the truth, Just keep reminding yourself of that.

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy Thu 04-Aug-11 16:37:51

How often does he see dd and when is he next due to see her?

Is he paying maintenance regularly?

TheBigJessie Thu 04-Aug-11 16:40:51

He sounds very willing to believe she's not his daughter.

A decent man wouldn't be so ready to question paternity straight away, and would still want to see the child he'd presumably bonded with over the previous year!

StrandedBear Thu 04-Aug-11 16:44:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lifechanger Thu 04-Aug-11 17:18:11

I would calmly make it clear to him that you would be 100% cooperative if he wants to arrange and pay for a DNA test, because very sadly for her, she is definitely his daughter.

Then stop doing all the running around - let him do the leg work in keeping up the relationship with his daughter.

TheMagnificentBathykolpian Thu 04-Aug-11 19:49:10

In your shoes, I would text him (since he won't speak to you, the child!) and say that the suggestion that his daughter is not his is deeply insulting, however, since he has seen fit to ask you, if he doubts paternity, then you will consent to a paternity test - at a proper clinic, where you attend together (this to stop anything like him getting a mate to test for him!) and if your daughter is shown to be not his, you will give him back every penny he has paid for her. THAT is how sure you are that she is his. Furthermore, when it is proven that she is his, you want a full and unreserved apology from him and from the person who has suggested this wicked thing to him.

Mitmoo Thu 04-Aug-11 20:02:07

Call Jeremy Kyle. wink

yoshiLunk Thu 04-Aug-11 20:22:59

I remember other posts about your ex and you must, must, must resist the urge to respond to him "I would rather she wasn't your daughter, but yes she absolutely is" grin

I know you want to, but seriously don't. As other have said remain calm but firm in your response. This other person who has told him he is not the father, as she is two years younger was she even around socialising etc with you when you were with him? I think maybe she has been watching too much JK herself.

Don't give her a free live episode, be better than that, you know you are.

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