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to think that he could listen occasionally?

(8 Posts)
Pandemoniaa Thu 04-Aug-11 12:33:53

First off, I don't want to sound entitled here because I'm well aware that not everyone gets to go on holiday but for all that, I rather wish dp would listen before making any of our holiday arrangements.

Last night was classic. Having buggered about been rather late in booking his holiday we are now going away later than was ideal given other things happening. Bit we're still going to a lovely town in Italy that we know well (DP lived there back in his Dark Postgraduate Age) and because it's been a bit of a year with one thing and another, we plan a thoroughly restful time.

I've also had an operation that will affect my mobility for another couple of months so when discussing where to stay, I suggested the very reasonably priced little hotel we went to a couple of years back. It's particularly ideal because it has a beautiful terrace on which to relax and eat lovely breakfasts and the like and comfy sitting rooms if my leg and the weather turn mutinous. Both events being very likely since the leg will still hurt and still not behave properly when we go away. I don't want to be confined to a hotel bedroom like an invalid when all I will need is a comfortable place to sit and rest a little.

So last night, DP bounces into the kitchen saying "What do you think of this?" and I go up and look at a hotel he's found. Looks OK on the website and I'm assuming he's opted for this because the other place has no vacancies. He waffles on about it being at his preferred end of town (it is a very small town!) and he checks availability and books us 5 nights. Only then does he think to check any reviews of it. Most of which turn out to be mixed, very mixed and while I'm very easy going about accommodation and amused by the ludicrous expectations of some people, the word "dirt" is always a warning flag.

So not only is this place reputed to be grubby and the service underwhelming, it turns out that the breakfasts consist of a vending machine and pre-packed biscuits. Again, not a tragedy if there's no alternative. But I then discover he's completely disregarded my suggestion of booking at the preferred hotel and hasn't bothered to check if they have rooms. When I mildly point this out we have the classic defensiveness and "I only did what I thought you wanted, people can do no right in this house" bollocks. And yes, thanks for booking a hotel but could you not have taken the slightest bit of notice of why I'd hoped to go somewhere a little more suitable for the specific reasons that affect this year's holiday? Reasons that were discussed and I thought agreed upon. And having taken no notice, have the good grace to avoid going histrionic on me?

I realise that none of this is tragic or devastating but AIBU to find it fucking annoying, nonetheless?

bananasplitz Thu 04-Aug-11 12:36:41

people only write reviews to complain

i take them with an enormous pinch of salt

breakfast can be eaten out

give it a go, might be lovely, you wont know unless you try

FetchezLaVache Thu 04-Aug-11 12:36:54

Just before you get leapt on- can we assume you let him book it rather than do it yourself because he speaks fluent Italian and you don't?

Pandemoniaa Thu 04-Aug-11 12:41:45

See, I tend to take the same view as you, bananasplitz but there are plenty of positive reviews on Trip Advisor and while I think a lot of complaints are ludicrous, dirt - when repeated over many different reviews - is a warning flag. I'm well aware I could be wrong but this year, of all years, it'd have been nice if he'd actually listened.

We both speak Italian but his is better, like absolutely fluent. When visiting this particular town he loves to do the bookings and it hasn't occurred to me to take the responsibility away from him.

redexpat Thu 04-Aug-11 12:58:10

Definitely annoying. Try and keep an open mind. Check the other hotel for vacancies. If the one DH chose is awful as the reviewers said then you may still be able to rock up at the other one.

I really think you ought to have a discussion about this with your DH though. You had very good reasons, and it's your holiday too. Sometimes they just don't get what you're saying. Crying usually helps

Sarsaparilllla Thu 04-Aug-11 13:09:54

Annoying but why didn't you ask him/remind him about the other one before he booked it? If you've booked direct you can probably cancel it and rebook the other one if it's far enough in the future

QueenStromba Thu 04-Aug-11 13:10:10

You should be able to cancel the hotel you've booked either with no penalty or just losing the price of one night.

Pandemoniaa Thu 04-Aug-11 13:23:37

I'm going with an open mind because I plan to enjoy this holiday but yes, it's mainly the lack of listening that gets my goat and it comes across as a general disinterest in what I'd hoped were good reasons to go back to somewhere known to be suitable.

He's very supportive (no pun intended!) to the current mobility issues but somewhere along the line my reasons get put aside in favour of what he wants. Because he's an amiable sort of bloke, it is all the more of a shock when I'm reminded that actually, he mainly only does what he wants to do.

I'm at fault for assuming he'd checked the other hotel first though. But having had the discussion about why it'd be the best choice only 24 hours earlier, I thought we were in agreement on how this accommodation would be booked. I was clearly wrong!

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