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AIBU?

To not barricade us in the house over this.

32 replies

HairExtensions · 02/08/2011 14:51

I received a letter today addressed to "The Occupier".

Basically it says that someone has recently moved/purchased a property in the area and this person (male) has "caused considerable upset by his creepy actions and highly questionable behaviour towards women folk and minors' in their community. It is signed "a concerned parent".

I've spoken to the police who told me they have had a few of these handed in earlier today and its being dealt with by the Community Officer and the LA. Nothing else for me to do and I can bin the letter.

My 3 DDs are 6, 4 and 2 and I don't leave them to play outside unsupervised anyway. And I will as a result of this letter, be more vigilant and have another talk with them about "stranger danger"(including adults they may actually know) .

My neighbour feels I'm not taking it seriously enough. What else should I do?

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Empusa · 02/08/2011 14:54

What are they expecting you to do??

Sounds to me like you are doing the most sensible things.

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Pandemoniaa · 02/08/2011 14:54

Burn the poisonous and cowardly anonymous letter and carry on as normal.

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mousymouse · 02/08/2011 14:55

keep your eyes open and your mobile with you.
for all you know this could be a spitefull neighbour and have nothing to do with reality.

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sittinginthesun · 02/08/2011 14:55

What is your neighbour suggest you do? Does it actually name someone? It wouldn't make the slightest difference to my actions - mine don't play out anyway, (aged 7 and 4) so what else would you do?

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HowNowKernow · 02/08/2011 14:56

Gosh, that would creep me out! Nothing much you can do, other than as you say be more vigilant and cover stranger danger with the DC. Can you find out more from the local gossip to find out what its all about?

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mrskbpw · 02/08/2011 14:56

"Woman folk"?! Where do you live? 1850?

To be serious, I'm really shocked by this. I'm assuming the police are investigating the person who sent the letter, rather than the "creepy behaviour"? It could be completely made up, or it could be an innocent person whose behaviour is being misinterpreted, or it could even be a malicious hate campaign. It means nothing and I wouldn't change your behaviour at all.

How can you talk about stranger danger referring to adults who aren't strangers?

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joric · 02/08/2011 14:56

This letter has probably been sent by 'a concerned parent with an axe to grind' who is writing letters in order to gain support for or back up an argument/ disagreement she has had with this bloke. smells of witch-hunt to me.

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AMumInScotland · 02/08/2011 14:57

I'd be more worried about the fact that one of your neighbours has set themself up as the arbiter of "creepy actions" than about the person they are talking about....

As you say, short of barricading yourselves in the house, what can you do about it? You have handed it over to the police to consider. Your children don't play out without you. You will no doubt be conscious of anyone you notice behaving "creepily" and will deal with it if you see it.

Sounds fair enough to me!

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hobnobsaremyfavourite · 02/08/2011 14:57

This could be nothing more than a neighbour with a grudge shit stirring. Nasty and cowardly.

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altinkum · 02/08/2011 14:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NetworkGuy · 02/08/2011 15:07

For all we know, your neighbour might have been the one that printed the letter....

Unfortunately, as someone else has indicated, it might just be that the newcomer somehow upset a neighbour (parked in "their" space?) and printing this, the "newcomer" is considered a risk even if completely harmless!

Clearly you are cautious, but I would hope there's nothing "extra" you need do, as you are already both cautious and aware of any risks.

Knee-jerk reactions are how we have gone overboard with CCTV, anti-terrorism legislation (which was shown to be over-used) and nearly got daft ID cards on top of every other "measure" they could dream up.

Security product makers must be wetting themselves with excitement over the sales possibilities for ever and ever, and now that Traffic police have the Taser, I foresee every copper having one within 5 years "just in case" !

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HairExtensions · 02/08/2011 15:09

Really sorry but I should have said in my OP that the person/s sending the letter are 'residents of a town in the black country' and I live in West Scotland. Postmarked on letter is North West Midlands.

It says "this male individual left our community some years ago under questionable circumstances' and "our. Reason for writing is to make you aware of his potential to cause anguish and heartache"

I was a bit at women folk too but thought maybe just a common term there?

So anyway, unlikely to be a neighbour sending it IMO

I think my neighbour expects me to stay on with Windows and doors bolted. And wasn't too impressed that I didn't support her theory that the police would trace its origins "cos they did it with Neil Lennon and the bombs being sent"!

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HairExtensions · 02/08/2011 15:14

Thanks everyone, I feel like I'm doing pretty much everything I can now. It is creepy though but I'm trying not to let it get to me too much.

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Esta3GG · 02/08/2011 15:14

It is some maniacs playing at being vigilantes.
Hope the police haul them in for cautioning.

Imagine if the person in question is entirely innocent of any wrong doing and these fuckers are hounding them around the country?
Appalling.

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AMumInScotland · 02/08/2011 15:25

So they sent it from the Midlands, but you live in Scotland? Does the letter say that this man has moved to your area, or is just a general "Women! Know your limits!" letter?

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HairExtensions · 02/08/2011 15:27

Mrsk I meant people that my DDs may know in passing ie neighbours, shop workers, the post man/woman etc as opposed to family and friends. maybe its just me but I know my eldest dd would say "but I know him/her" there's a difference between knowing someone and just knowing who they are (i really hope I do a better job explaining that to DDs than I've done here )

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HairExtensions · 02/08/2011 15:32

Amum it says "we have reason to believe that he has relatively recently purchased a property in your local"

Another neighbour just called round. She has a list with her and is checking of who has received a letter! Just our street apparently, not the adjacent one.

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worldgonecrazy · 02/08/2011 15:34

Agree with the poster who said burn it. Probably sent by the same sort of mob-minded vigilante who confuses paedophile and paediatrician.

I wouldn't waste a second of thought on it.

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HairExtensions · 02/08/2011 15:36

And yes, its been sent from Midlands and I'm in west Scotland. It says "we are residents of a town in the black country" but doesn't name a town or name anyone.

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GrimmaTheNome · 02/08/2011 15:37

YABU. Of course you shouldn't barricade yourself indoors. Is that what your neighbour thinks you should do this summer, rather than carrying on as usual letting your DDs play outdoors supervised as usual?

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GrimmaTheNome · 02/08/2011 15:38

Sorry, meant YANBU!! Your neighbour is BU

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AMumInScotland · 02/08/2011 15:50

Well, if anyone with actual history has moved there, then the police will most likely know about it. But it sounds more like shit-stirring than anything else.

When it comes to "stranger danger" its better to keep it simple - you don't go anywhere with anyone without checking with mummy or daddy first, even if you know the person. Because mummy will be worried if she doesn't know where you are. That covers total strangers, neighbours, everyone.

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HairExtensions · 02/08/2011 15:54

Thanks Amuminscotland that sounds a simple yet clear and effective way of explaining it. I will nick that if I may?

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AMumInScotland · 02/08/2011 15:59

You're welcome! I found it was easier than trying to define who strangers were - as you say, there's a whole load of people that our children know well enough to say Hello to, who aren't people we actually know and trust.

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lilmissminx · 02/08/2011 16:00

AMumInScotland is spot on in her advice. I studied Criminology, so have learned a reasonable amount regarding crimes against children. The wording of the letter is a little odd, and gives me the impression of an older person sending it - if not, then the use of heartache makes me wonder about a scorned writer
You do not need to over react to this. You are doing all the right things. Strangers account for only around 3% of crimes against children - So telling your children never to go with ANYONE without telling you is very good advice.
Personally, I don't advocate advising children not to speak to strangers, as there are circumstances in which they may have to.
It is safe to speak to most people, unfortunately the media have given us more knowledge about things and sensationalised them hence the massive stranger danger thing, which isn't strictly true.
We all need to exercise common sense, and take sensible precautions. I think you are doing fine and your neighbour is over reacting. HTH