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to wonder how other people can always seem to manage much better than we do on their income

(77 Posts)
slipperandpjsmum Tue 02-Aug-11 14:34:34

My dh and I have a reasonable amount of money coming into our family but I am forever reaching my over draft limit at the end of the month. This year we have not been able to afford to go on holiday. We live in a very modest house

I have just come back from my friends house. She is putting her house on the market and they are moving into something much larger. Other friends are going on long haul holidays. I know they earn less than I do I just can't work out what I am doing wrong.

I did that write down everything I was spending thing and we have cut out anything we can do without.

Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions as to where I am going wrong!!??

It feels very frustrating working full time but feeling like we have no money left for some nice things aibu to expect to be able to??

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 02-Aug-11 14:37:25

There are two possibilities. Either your budgeting still needs a lot of work or they're buying everything on tick. And I'd guess the latter....

joric Tue 02-Aug-11 14:38:21

Do they have a credit card?
That is how a lot of people I know afford things! smile

joric Tue 02-Aug-11 14:38:48

X post

neolara Tue 02-Aug-11 14:39:01

Maybe they have smaller mortgages? Had family help to buy their houses? Bought houses earlier than you when prices where lower?

FruitSaladIsNotPudding Tue 02-Aug-11 14:39:21

It's credit. Or they bought houses at the right time and made loads of cash from that.

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 02-Aug-11 14:39:36

Dead granny in the spare room whose pension they're still drawing?.....

itsraining Tue 02-Aug-11 14:39:42

I can't really comment on your situation without knowing more but it does seem to me that a lot of people seem to get hand outs from their own parents eg conservatory, money for children's activities, holidays paid for, clearner paid for, car. These are all rl examples. I remember them well because we don't have much money and my dparents have never offered to help us in any way at all. In fact we are currently subbing pil and my parents have been fishing for money from us, wtf!

seachange Tue 02-Aug-11 14:40:14

We don't do too badly. I spend quite a bit of time on Money Saving Expert. We don't have a car I guess, that is the main chunk that we cut out of our outgoings.

twinklypearls Tue 02-Aug-11 14:41:04

Did they have their mortgage before you ? I find that is what divides us from other people?

I have friends who pay out a few hundred in mortgage. My rent is £1200 a month and our mortgage will be a similar amount .

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 02-Aug-11 14:41:30

@slipperandpjsmum... bit of a personal question but do you have a lot of CC balances and loan/HP payments? Often when people on good incomes can't make ends meet it's because they've got a lot of commitments.

seachange Tue 02-Aug-11 14:41:42 sorry.

Stupid iPad grin

MrsBaggins Tue 02-Aug-11 14:42:52

Maybe they have had an inheritance but dont want to discuss it ?

Do you spend a lot on food?- I find unless I mealplan its very easy to overspend-supermarkets spend ages working out strategies to part you with your money ! Are you paying off debts ?
Bear in mind that the cost of every day living is shooting up.
The reality is that a lot of people dont have much money left over .

thestringcheeseincident Tue 02-Aug-11 14:42:56

Is it your mortgage payments? ours are enormous and that's where alot goes.

NonnoMum Tue 02-Aug-11 14:43:02

I feel the same. We recently started taking in students which could possibly bring in £500 a month. Our Mil thought that would cover our mortgage. Ha ha ha ha. No way.

We can't really go on holiday. We are not eligible for tax credits or anything like that. I don't know how people manage.

It's all about the mortgage I think...

MrsBaggins Tue 02-Aug-11 14:47:20

Another thought - people tend to show their best side ifyswim ?
They might be overstretching themselves on a big mortgage or buying lots of stuff on credit.
Best to not worry too much about others - I once had huge debts and paid it all off .I will never go there again.
I dont look around at others -am happy and content .No holiday and a very old car.

rainbowtoenails Tue 02-Aug-11 14:49:29

Their mortgage payments could be much lower.

It could be lots of things: childcare, cars, pensions, old debts, insurances, supermarket choice, smoking, alcohol, eating out, etc.

If you state your monthly outgoings we can prob suggest ways of cutting it.

janelikesjam Tue 02-Aug-11 14:50:59

their family may help them financially ... you never know ...

HowNowKernow Tue 02-Aug-11 14:52:37

Having wondered a similar thing I had an honest chat with a few friends, hoping to get some tips from them about how they make their money go further. It turned out they mostly bought things on their credit cards.

Now I realise I'm happier with older clothes, an older kitchen, an older car and so on rather than having big CC debt hanging over me. It was a relief to find out I wasn't just crap at budgetting!

HarrietJones Tue 02-Aug-11 14:56:09

Mortgage makes a huge difference. Dh & I both bought ages ago and combined on our current house. In my head it's a huge mortgage but it's only half the house and £400 a month.

lesley33 Tue 02-Aug-11 14:58:27

We manage to do much more than some of our friends who have roughly the same income as us - I think.

I think some people aren't great at managing money. Small things can make a difference. So I and my OH take packed lunches to work and never buy take away coffees at work. We don't buy celeb magazines. Just silly things like this do add up.

The other explanation is that people are getting financial help from family. We don't get any and I hadn't realised for ages that some people did get this even though their parents are not mega rich and they are in reasonably well paid jobs.

Or they are in debt. A friend and her OH are both in low paid jobs, but there has never seemed any shortage of money for work to the house or holidays. As one of them has a very wealthy parents, we assumed there were being subbed by this parent. My friend came to me in tears a week ago saying they were in loads of debt. I had had no idea.

HowNowKernow Tue 02-Aug-11 14:58:30

Also, I forget that quite a few of my friends have well off parents who have helped them buy houses and give them big gifts of money at Christmas and that type of thing.

<<tries not to be jealous and fails>

lesley33 Tue 02-Aug-11 15:01:43

The other thing is that we have always saved. So it may look strange to friends who suddenly see us doing some big work on our house or going an expensive holiday. But this hasn't been funded out of our current earnings, but out of savings.

Pandemoniaa Tue 02-Aug-11 15:02:43

It all depends on how things are paid for. My friend lived next door to a couple who were forever buying stuff - furniture, cars, televisions, sound systems etc. They spent most weekends in shopping malls with the exception of the 4 weeks or so when away on holiday. None of this was bought from earnings but all put on credit cards. So while they appeared really prosperous and capable with money given their jobs, they weren't managing any better in reality.

Adversecamber Tue 02-Aug-11 15:10:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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