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AIBU?

Not to let my DS to play because they have a problem with me & DH

119 replies

heathermumof3 · 01/08/2011 21:26

A couple on my street are that sad and perfectic in my eyes for not letting my 7 year old DS play with there son. When my son calls for theres and they have sht the door in his face, told there child not to talk or play with him. When there child is playing out with one of my DS friends they have told him that if my DS asks to play there child has to come home.
I am so mad I feel like smacking them in the face and I am not a voilent person.
It started a year ago. The couples sister was in our house slagging off her brother inlaw. We made a comment saying that we don't think that her brother inlaw likes us as every time we try to speak to him he put's his head down and won't speak back. A week later I seen the woman at school and went to say hi. She snapped at me saying how upset her husband was because we had called him ignorant. I felt terrible so me & my DH went round with a bottle and a can to apologise. Since then they have never talked to us. Blanked us in the street and now is forcing our kids to stay away from each other.
AIBU to think they are being horrid to my child and being so childish not to speak to us.
If they have a problem with me or my DH fine but tae it out my DS

OP posts:

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MrsReasonable · 01/08/2011 21:46

"If they have a problem with me or my DH fine but [don't] ta[k]e it out [on] my DS"

Um... but isn't that exactly what you would be doing by banning him from playing?

pink4ever · 01/08/2011 21:46

Why do you care? if the kids want to play with each other they will. Am sure netmums would have better advice for you.

spiderpig8 · 01/08/2011 21:47

Well do you actually KNOW they have told their child not to play with your DS, or is it something you have heard third hand via two 7 year olds?

MogTheForgetfulCat · 01/08/2011 21:50

YANBU to fell hurt that they are being horrid to your DS (they are - shutting the door in his face and making their DS come home if your DS tries to join in is pretty vile).

Seems v petty to extend a fairly minor incident to this level, though, and to involve the children. Are you sure there's nothing more to it?

heathermumof3 · 01/08/2011 21:51

sorry I have said it wrong they wornt let my son play with theres. That what I am mad at. They have slammed the door in his face. There son has told that he is not aloyed to play with him and if mine calls for him with his friends he is only allowed to play if my DS goes away.

OP posts:

Birdsgottafly · 01/08/2011 21:52

You have learned your lesson about not getting involved in family gossip.
I wouldn't bother to keep trying to apologise, let it go.
It won't be easy over summer but there is nothing that you can do, they are the ones being unreasonable, rise above it.

Birdsgottafly · 01/08/2011 21:54

Your DS is not missing out on being in their house, if you forced the issue, they would probably be slagging you off, while your DS is there.
Explain honestly to your DS that sometimes adults can be idiots.

heathermumof3 · 01/08/2011 21:56

I know they ae the ones but when it is affecting my DS who has come home in tears beacuse all his friends can play with him but he can't. He has to grow up here and go to school together.
Also this has been going on for 18 months. I am not arsed I would rather not speak to them again but our children are growing up together and live in a very small village.

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 01/08/2011 21:57

i'm not sure why you are so bothered tbh

you basically were quite rude about the man, and understandably they are upset about that. it was pretty bloody stupid to be rude about him to his sister-in-law wasn't it? and you're calling them childish???

anyway, seems to me the only person they're likely to upset is their own son. I'm sure your son has other children he can play with and other friends... if this other boy isn't allowed to play then so be it.

as for feeling like "smacking them in the face"

well.

thisisyesterday · 01/08/2011 21:59

has your son actually come home in tears because out of all the children he could play with there is ONE that he can't?

what's so special about this boy that your son is so desperate to play with him?

heathermumof3 · 01/08/2011 22:05

You tell me whats so special but he feels pushed out. You stand there wanting to play with all your mates when they can all play but him. He asks us if he calls for him all the time because his friends are there. We tell him not to bother but he goes round any way only to be told no.
If my little boy gets upset easily because he feel isolated or left out and is upset (in tears) all because they want to try and get back at us in my opoinoin it is worng.
Like I said this is a small village every knows every one and all the kids play together.

OP posts:

pictish · 01/08/2011 22:05

Not sure why you're getting all the attitude OP, but I for one think they're being quite unpleasant to your boy with no just cause.

Some people are very petty.

kittyk1 · 01/08/2011 22:06

What's with the net mums comment pink4ever? Just curious...

snippywoo2 · 01/08/2011 22:18

without reading any of the posts I can say the moral of the story is 'never get involved in family disputes' especially when their not your family. Families are famously fickle. One minute their slagging each other off to whoever will listen and that's okay, but offer your own opinion back and they will suddenly close ranks against you and all arguments amongst themselves will be forgotten and suddenly you are force of all evil. I kid you not lol

TheFrogs · 01/08/2011 22:24

They are being very petty.

But then, perhaps you shouldn't be knifing people you hardly know in the back....for no good reason....to their own relatives!

Leave it alone, you obviously weren't all meant to be friends I think!

Blu · 01/08/2011 22:29

re why is the OP getting 'attitude': I don't think the OP is saying SHE won't let her DS play with the other child, but that she is referring only to their refusal to let their child play.

It's one of thos AIBU thread titles that doesn't quite correlate with the 'AIBU to...' part of the question.

They are being petty - you did apologise, you did try and explain - if they have not got the gracne to accept, I'm not sure there is much you can do. In the end if the kids wnat to be friends, they will be, at school.

Don't escalate the behaviour by criticising them to anyone else - just get on with your own lives in dignity, head held high.

pumpkincarver · 01/08/2011 22:30

Heathermumof3, please note the following:

"there"= indicates a place, a location, as in "over there".
"their"= indicates something/someone that belongs to "them".

YANBU but there's nothing much you can do about those neighbours imo.

Rhinestone · 01/08/2011 22:31

FFS, 'their', not 'there'.

'I am so mad I feel like smacking them in the face...'

I'm really not surprised they don't want their son mixing with your family. You sound ignorant and aggressive.

heathermumof3 · 01/08/2011 22:31

I am not arsed if I don't speak to them again just don't like the idea of them treating my DS like this. I know what we did was wrong we apologised. That's it but I would never use my children as weapon and if there little boy came to play I would let him as the children have done nothing wrong.
I my try netmums lol
I am sorry for the grammar it's late and im shattered

OP posts:

snippywoo2 · 01/08/2011 22:32

The only thing I can think of is make it more fun to play at your house than this lads house . Get a trampoline, garden toys. Invite his friends round for tea make it more interesting at your house than the other lads, kids go where the fun is. Just a thought.

AgentZigzag · 01/08/2011 22:34

Very patronising of you pumpkin, go to pedants corner if you want to correct peoples posts.

And how was asking a person if there's a reason why their BIL doesn't talk to them knifing them in the back TheFrogs?

snippywoo2 · 01/08/2011 22:38

sod the grammar heathermumof3 it doesnt matter

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pumpkincarver · 01/08/2011 22:41

AgentZigzag, I would want to know if I was constantly and repeatedly making the same spelling mistake (obviously not a typo). So why shouldn't I let OP know?
Besides, "there" instead of "their" makes for a very npleasant read, it's not polite to expect your readers to haverto make extra effort to comprehend your bad english.
I thought Mumsne was the place where we tell each other what we think!

Blu · 01/08/2011 22:42

Pedantry, snobbery...when did MN become so damn snotty?

Blu · 01/08/2011 22:44

PumpkinCarver - I am frequently guilty of terrible typos, and I agree, it makes for unpleasant reading.
Hit the preview button before you start helpfully educating people?

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