DH and I have been together for 8 years,married for 7. We have 4 DC,aged nearly 7,nearly 5,3 and 15 mnths. I suffer from depression and have done since the birth of second DC. Over the last few years things have gotten progressively worse between us,to the extent that I asked him to move out about 7 months ago. Since he moved out I have felt much better,and a couple of months ago we decided to try again. Things were good for a while but lately it seems bad again. I'm not perfect by a long way,and I have kissed 2 other men during our marriage,which I am totally ashamed of and admitted to straight away. DH is,and always has been,controlling,belittling,demeaning,emotionally abusive and violent,tho only to walls,doors etc. I love him still,and always will,but I don't feel anything anymore. I don't feel in love with him,I don't feel a connection anymore,I don't want to make love to him and sometimes he makes me feel physically sick. I would love it if this could improve in time but I'm beginning to think it's not going to. DH says I'm the love of his life and I don't want to hurt him,but surely it's better to end it than keep stringing him along waiting for something that may never happen? Does anyone have any advice? Sorry if it's a bit long-winded and hard to understand but I'm very confused and I just poured it all out!
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