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to be seriously wound up by my neighbour

(45 Posts)
PrincessScrumpy Sun 31-Jul-11 19:50:16

We have a very small front garden with plants in it. A couple were affected by the cold winter but still had some green so we were hoping they would pick up, we need to put some more bark chippings down (something I told my neighbour 2 weeks ago that we would do once we returned from hols), and there were 2 dandelion weeds growing. Basically it needed a little tidy but nothing major.

My neighbour is moving abroad in October and is planning to rent her house out. An estate agent told her that she owns part of the front garden as it lines up with her house. Our deeds are vague regarding this but as it's only 2 feet by less than a foot that she owns I'm not bothered. She put weed killer on our dandelions (which didn't kill them but she told me afterwards) and slug pellets to kill the snails which left about 10 empty shells (all on her newly claimed land). She thinks the snails (which are all up the road of more than 100 houses) are coming from our plants and they are getting under her front door! There are lots of snails round here but her door can't fit if a snail fits under it!

On returning from holiday last night she arrived on the doorstep at 9pm to tell me how messy the garden is and how it will stop people wanting to rent her house. I told her that we planned to do it next weekend but just got back and in laws are still visiting. (it really didn't look hideous at all and I wasn't bothered by the 2 dandelions as dd (3) loves them).

This morning I saw her and said hello in an attempt to avoid bad feeling and she started repeating the conversation and reminding me how she helpfully picked up the empty snail shells - that she had killed with pellets she put down. At 32weeks pg with twins I hadn't picked them up as bending to put shoes on is hard enough.

We are quiet neighbours (as she's always told me), don't have parties etc but this stress is not what I need with the twins, plus dh has a broken hand so no, gardening is not at the top of our list. dh commutes 2 hours a day for work so fine, the garden doesn't look tip top but it's better than many I've seen.

Sorry for mamouth essay. Basically she wants us to gravel the area (like she has in the back and front). She said if she was staying she'd put a little boarder along and gravel her bit and I said I'm happy for her to do this, but she then said "oh, but it's money isn't it?"

She's making us feel like the "chavvy family bringing the neighbourhood down" I barely slept last night going over in my head her rudeness and how upset I was by her manor.

Really I want to know if I'm in the wrong - please be gentle x

giraffesCantZumba Sun 31-Jul-11 19:53:31

Do you know anyone with an old rusting car that they need to store in your ront garden for a while? preferably with no wheels.

3ismylot Sun 31-Jul-11 19:55:14

I have twins and can remember just how big and uncomfortable I was at 32 weeks so if I were you I would tell her that you have much more pressing matters on your hands and that if she is that bothered about getting a tenant then she should sort the garden herself!

Seriously dont even think about it, you need all the rest you can get at the moment, so dont go losing sleep because you live next to a loon smile

ledkr Sun 31-Jul-11 19:58:58

silly cow,i was hassled about my trees all thru my last pg,it was the flaming winter hardly gardening time. I just ignored her,if she is that bothered then she can do it herself.
I love the rusting car idea,how about some old bike frames,a tin bath and some broken toys too grin

LineRunner Sun 31-Jul-11 19:59:54

She's an idiot.

You could tell her to get out of your face or you won't touch your garden; and as she's not allowed to, she'll be the one with the problems.

Or she could ask nicely.

Snails aren't going under her door, it's slugs, so she needs to see to her door and to the crumbs she's leaving on her carpet that are luring them in night after night.

<Slug 101, a great adult ed course>

DontGoCurly Sun 31-Jul-11 19:59:57

The cheeky cow. why don't you give her the stuff and tell her to get on with it herself. Point at your belly and explain about the two human beings inside making it difficult for you to move.

PrincessScrumpy Sun 31-Jul-11 20:01:12

Ha ha - wouldn't even fit a car in it it's that small! maybe a washing machine.
DH has pruned it all back (for my stress levels not for neighbour).

Mitmoo Sun 31-Jul-11 20:06:18

FFS I've never heard of anything so petty, tell her to do what she likes with her part but if she touches yours you'll consider it criminal damage and if she doesn't mind to stop causing you stress when you are busy bringing two babies into the world. She is leaving be as rude as you like.

Stupid woman.

alowVera Sun 31-Jul-11 20:06:59

Um, I'd probably tell her to get over it. Whether you gravel or whatever your front garden, it's not really any of her business. And whether she rents her house or not is not your problem.
YANBU.

Mitmoo Sun 31-Jul-11 20:20:12

You might also want to point out that if she wants to sell it in the future any fallings out with the neighbours have to be pointed out. If the new purchasers find out there has been a previous dispute that hasn't been revealed at the time of purchase she can be sued by the new owners.

I've got the T-shirt on this one.

She'd do well not to make an issue of your garden for her own sakes.

I had an issue with Prescriptive Rights where the sellers of my home said there were no disputes over boundary lines. Then when I moved in they supported my next door neighbours in a dispute over boundary lines and nearly got themselves into an enormous amount of the dark stuff.

I won the case, if I hadn't I'd have sued the previous owners for my losses because they held back disputes on boundary disputes.

It's a minefield. Look up Prescriptive rights.

ShellyBoobs Sun 31-Jul-11 20:25:23

"An estate agent told her that she owns part of the front garden as it lines up with her house."

I would be VERY hmm about that.

I've heard it before, but I'm not sure it's true - it certainly isn't in the case of my parents' house as their deeds showed otherwise when checking on the positioning of a new fence.

If you think about houses which are positioned on bends, for instance, it can't be true as you would own bits of each other's gardens. confused

Mitmoo Sun 31-Jul-11 20:29:01

Shelly An estate agent wouldnt tell you that a Chartered Surveyor would. It is not an estate agents area of expertise to denote boundary lines.

My neighbours thought they owned 6" of my garden (I mean how bliddy pathetic" but they were measuring from the wrong place.

InstantAtom Sun 31-Jul-11 20:40:29

She wants you to have a nicer garden? She can pay for it. After all she'll supposedly be making more money if your garden improves!

ShellyBoobs Sun 31-Jul-11 20:42:24

"It is not an estate agents area of expertise to denote boundary lines."

Which is exactly why I'm saying I'd be hmm about it.

The OP said that an estate agent told the neighbour where the boundary lies based upon it 'lining up' with the house.

ShellyBoobs Sun 31-Jul-11 20:45:39

In fact, Mitmoo, I would add that if it's the case that a piece of garden 'lining up' with your house proves ownership, we must own a good 5m wide strip of one of our neighbour's gardens.

CaptainNancy Sun 31-Jul-11 20:48:16

If you own your home, I would ignore her, and tell her politely that you cannot be doing gardening in your present condition. If you rent, I would make sure she doesn't contact your LL, because she sounds just the sort that would cause trouble for you. I don't see how she can own part of your garden though hmm

Good luck with your new arrivals smile

feckwit Sun 31-Jul-11 20:52:07

I would just ignore it.

I have a totally bonkers neighbour.

Some of her gems include:

Telling us her house had caught damp from ours. Despite the fact we have NO damp and the houes aren't even connected, there is about 8 ft between our external wall and hers!
Having a screaming fit at me about how she had heard me slagging her off in the garden that morning over a coffee with my friend. BUT I had not been in that morning, in fact I was at the opticians with all 4 kids.
Throwing a biscuit at me and my daughter when we walked up a public footpath behind our house and then claiming a pigeon dropped it on me despite me watching her launch it !

These days whenever she starts about anything I just nod and say "You have a point" and then walk away. Drives her mad I think.

Our house is for sale, I secretly hope a family from hell buy it.

spiderpig8 Sun 31-Jul-11 20:57:01

I'd tell her you fully understand re kerb appeal and all that but you really don't have time at the moment but she's more than welcome to sort it out.

mummyosaurus Sun 31-Jul-11 21:03:36

YANBU and I have to say I think your neighbour is a bitch!

Please try not to worry, as you say it's not top of your priority list and you will get round to it when you can.

Please don't let the old hag bully you.

TheSkiingGardener Sun 31-Jul-11 21:06:16

I would check the boundary line thing. I would also tell her to get stuffed. Except I wouldn't, I would politely nod and say "mmmm" when she was talking and then do nothing.

Ignore her, she is rude and YANBU

NickRobinsonsloveslave Sun 31-Jul-11 21:37:16

I had a run in with my neighbour the other day....still rehearsing in my head what I should have said to her.

I absolutely LOVE the idea of replying "You have a point". Will definitely remember this for next (And there will be a next time).

breatheslowly Sun 31-Jul-11 22:14:20

I'd let the front garden go wild if I was you. I can't believe anyone would tell someone 32 weeks pregnant with twins to do some gardening. Good luck with your twins, you might want to make sure they are screaming as loud as possible when prospective tenants are shown around.

TigerseyeMum Sun 31-Jul-11 22:17:01

Put loads of gnomes on it one day when she is out. I'd love to see her face when she returns <<evil>>

I mean loads. Gnomes-a-go-go.

AnotherJaffaCake Sun 31-Jul-11 22:24:08

Neighbours can be so nasty. When we eventually get enough money together to move house, I want one with a moat and drawbridge, and vats of boiling oil to repel all marauding evil neighbours grin.

CaptainNancy Mon 01-Aug-11 10:10:25

tigerseye- that is the best idea ever! grin

<<evil cackle>>

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