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To be annoyed DH has pissed the bed again

(18 Posts)
benne81 Sun 31-Jul-11 04:25:18

We have been together 10 years and it has intermittenly being a problem that if he has too much alcohol to drink then he will fall asleep (anywhere) and piss himself. It hasn't happened for ages though, probably a year, but now has happened twice in the last three weeks. For example yesterday we had people round for a dinnner party, everyone was drinking but Dh just doesn't know when to stop and by the end of the night was paralectic and despite going to the toilet just before bed he has wet it again. He is still so drunk that he doesn't really understand what he has done so ihave just left him, taken the bedding away and given him a towel to sleep on and under - he looks pathetic. I'm also 32 weeks pregnant and can'tbe bothered eith this anymore.

He is a great husband the rest of the time and he will be mortified when he wakes up but it doesn't stop it from happening. I just wondered if other husbands/boyfriend/partners do this sort of thing and how others have tackledtge situation (I'm seriously considering incontinence pads) - obviously not the sort of thing i want to discuss with girlfriends down the pub!

ragged Sun 31-Jul-11 04:28:11

This has been discussed on MN before (saying that if you look in the archives you may find some solace, you are not alone).
Get him some nappies!?

Orbinator Sun 31-Jul-11 04:32:30

Maybe suggest he visits the Doc for a prostate check - it might be a cause but even if not he'd prob be a bit wary of getting that drunk again after a probing wink

Meantime I'd invest in a good mattress protector confused

Primafacie Sun 31-Jul-11 04:34:00

I am so sorry, it is the last thing you need esp when 32 weeks pregnant. YANBU wanting to tackle the situation, but don't have any advice I am afraid.

It sounds like your DH has an alcohol problem.

Orbinator Sun 31-Jul-11 04:38:30

Sorry - I didn't mean to sound as if I was belittling the problem OP - and I agree he does sound as though he has an alcohol problem. At 32 weeks you must be a little concerned about that, possibly more than the bed wetting (although obv it's the last thing you need to be worrying about with a grown man).

I've had it happen to me with a guy I slept with on occasion a few years back. He was most apologetic but I have to say I wouldn't go there again after that! He was a self confessed binge drinker though who ran a pub... not the best environment! I'd look at alcohol services and insist he enrols in something to help before they baby arrives. YANBU at all to be fed up.

Wabbit Sun 31-Jul-11 04:41:58

lol at 'probing' as an inhibitor to further binging ... it's a good plan!

my ex was alcoholic and would wet himself during his many seizures... so I know how upsetting and frustrating and just how very unappealing the problem is, much sympathy benne

GreenEyesandHam Sun 31-Jul-11 11:03:27

He really needs to stop drinking.

Have a serious talk with him, ask him how he will feel if he does this in public, or at someone else's house. Or if your child were to see it.

It's not 'normal', I'd be worried about his health sad

Whatmeworry Sun 31-Jul-11 11:36:09

Pull ups after benders before he gets in bed grin

He has a real problem, see Doc and then AA or something.

Tortington Sun 31-Jul-11 11:39:05

dh doens't do this, but when he gets drunk he sleeps on the sofa.

i wouldn't let him sleep in the same bed as me that's for sure

Jux Sun 31-Jul-11 11:46:07

Take photos. Blow them up to mega-sized and each time he's going to be drinking hang them up where he can't miss them. Make him strip the bed, wash the bedding, scrub the mattress and then make the bed with fresh bedding.

Send him to the doc for a probing (excellent idea) but he also might talk to doc about his drinking while he's being probed. Go with him to wotness his humiliation, and talk to the doc about his drinking if he doesn't. Give no quarter, don't pull your punches. He needs the help of experts and you mustn't 'enable' him by cleaning up his mess.

Can you sleep somewhere else when he's been drinking so you don't have to be disturbed when you find yourself lying in his piss?

partyhats Sun 31-Jul-11 11:50:06

Thats disgusting, this is why people should not drink. I agree with Jux make him do the clean up and sleep elsewhere when he is drunk.

FabbyChic Sun 31-Jul-11 11:50:52

Its not a prostrate problem at all, he is so drunk he is almost comatose, so he doesnt wake up to go to the toilet.

Ive done it myself years ago, until you wake up you don't know you have done it.

No medical reason for it, just the drink.

AnneWiddecomesArse Sun 31-Jul-11 11:51:07

An adult shouldn't drink to the point of pissing themselves. It's not a laughing matter. It's incredibly disresfectful to you. More importantly he's disrespecting and abusing himself. Either way he needs a professional's insight and the best place to start is the GP.

stupefy Sun 31-Jul-11 12:01:26

How much did he drink? shock

I'd refuse to sleep in bed with my dh if he did that.. He'd be sleeping on the floor.

eurochick Sun 31-Jul-11 12:02:14

How awful for you. He has a drink problem. He needs to get it sorted. Does he want his child to be to see him like that?

PeopleCallMeTricky Sun 31-Jul-11 12:07:31

My ex used to do this, because he didn't want to bother controlling the amount he drank. He used to drink and drink and get to a point where he no longer had control of himself. I would try to get him to go to the toilet before he went to bed, but he would start shouting at me and I would be embarrassed because it was the middle of the night and I knew the neighbours would hear. He pissed the bed several times and in the end I just stopped reacting because I was so weary of it. Cunt.

Nancy66 Sun 31-Jul-11 12:11:00

you shouldn't put up with that - you'll have a baby to clean up after soon - you don't need him pissing himself as well.

it's gross and horribly disrespectful to you - he clearly can't drink in moderation and, therefore, shouldn't drink at all.

ChaoticAngelofGryffindor Sun 31-Jul-11 12:19:58

YANBU Agree with others who say he has a drink problem and that it's disrespectful to you.

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