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Not to have things flying around when she is angry?

(10 Posts)
i82qb4ap Sat 30-Jul-11 21:56:13

Why is it that every time my lady gets in a mood that everything around that seems to do things wrong... ladders fridge, pet bowl, things in drawers get tossed across the room or smashed until they complie with her wishes.

Not sure how to handle this one... do I say "you need help with that" or "sort it out or I'm off"

Not that I want too split with her but I have a child and I don't really want that around him but at the same time I really don't want to loss her

Advice on the approch please

MissVerinder Sat 30-Jul-11 21:59:01

Try "are you alright?"

Has she always been like this, or is it recent?

AgentZigzag Sat 30-Jul-11 22:06:25

She sounds angry about something, not necessarily you though.

Has she had help in the past with how to express her frustration/anger?

How often does it happen?

mayorquimby Sat 30-Jul-11 22:09:06

She threw a fridge? impressive

hellospoon Sat 30-Jul-11 22:39:22

Are you my dp? I am a little ancy at the minute with a pending ofsted visit so things are getting thrown around.

Seriously thought, yanbu but you need to speak to her find out what's wrong.

hellospoon Sat 30-Jul-11 22:39:22

Are you my dp? I am a little ancy at the minute with a pending ofsted visit so things are getting thrown around.

Seriously thought, yanbu but you need to speak to her find out what's wrong.

HeIsSpartacus Sat 30-Jul-11 23:39:20

Is the child just your child (single dad?)? How old is he? Is he scared at all as in is the throwing stuff around accompanied by huffing and puffing but not any force (I threw a lot of stuff in drawers the other day because I couldn't find something but no one was going to get injured by a lot of knickers and a few pairs of tights) or is it violent? What kind of atmosphere does it create?

I would not be happy about this kind of stuff in front of my DS from a partner unless it was the huffing puffing type of creating a mess while looking for things - outright throwing ladders or a pet bowl or attacking a fridge etc do not sound very huffy puffy to me.

maras2 Sat 30-Jul-11 23:49:22

Try stopping calling her ' my lady '.Sorry for sounding so flippant but have no advice as I used to be a throwing ratbag person when I was pre menstrual.The least little thing used to set me off.Hope that you can resolve this without breaking up. Mx.

lifechanger Sun 31-Jul-11 07:09:12

She is behaving badly. You could get hurt, so could your child.

I would consider an ultimatum - get treatment/couselling together or she has to leave.

DizzyKipper Sun 31-Jul-11 08:06:06

My mum used to do that when I was a kid, slamming doors, throwing stuff including AT us when she was angry enough. Yes they never hit, but it was still a really unpleasant thing for her to do. It will also be unpleasant for your child - particularly if she starts to throw stuff at him (which to me would surely be the next step up along this line of behaviour?). It is such an inappropriate and aggressive way of dealing with anger/stress and needs to stop.

I would try talking to her, approaching her in as calm and a non-blaming a way as possible - she just needs to know how destructive this kind of behaviour can be and needs to start working on other ways of dealing with her stress.
You also need to find out how your son is feeling about it, this maybe upsetting him more than you realise. Then again, he may be accepting this as normal and is not bothered in the slightest - which to me doesn't seem like a particularly good thing either!

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