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to be upset at my mum's lack of interest in me.

(14 Posts)
princessglitter Sat 30-Jul-11 19:52:38

My mum is always busy when I phone her. Always on her way out somewhere, or just getting in, or watching 'Corro' (Coronation Street). Sometimes she will ring me, talk about herself for ten minutes and then make excuses if I want to talk about something.

Despite this I still phone her - because she's my mum and I want to tell her about what's going on in my life sometimes. I don't phone often.

Today I phoned for chat and wanting to tell her that we are getting chickens - something I'm v excited about. She just mumbled: 'Oh I'm pleased for you love... I've got to go...' She wasn't doing anything, just sunbathing in the garden. She cut me off almost as quickly as I'd phoned her.

AIBU to feel a bit rubbish about the fact that my mum isn't really interested in me sad

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Sat 30-Jul-11 20:00:48

Aww Princessglitter... have you ever told your mum how you feel? Have you asked her when is a good time to ring? It's one thing to be a little distracted from time to time but if you feel that she's not interested in your life then that's very sad. sad

ImperialBlether Sat 30-Jul-11 20:03:04

Sometimes, the only thing you can do is snap "Well when the hell ARE you free to talk to me?" and slam the phone down.

Some people just need waking up!

princessglitter Sat 30-Jul-11 20:03:54

Have tried telling her - but she dismisses me and cuts me off. Perhaps asking her when would be a good time to ring might help - I don't know. She doesn't work and is busy with her hobbies, but rarely has time for me or the dc, despite living 10 mins away. We have stopped going round there as she just ignores us. Yet very occasionally, she can be really lovely.

neepsntatties Sat 30-Jul-11 20:16:14

My mum is like that but she has a history of alcoholism too so that is part of it I guess. I get how hurtful it is though. I just used to call my dad but he passed away last year so sometimes I try my mum but it is always pointless. She just mumbles uh uh or blanks me altogether if I try to talk about my life before either going on about her own or just sighing a lot. I don't know what is worse, not having a parent to turn to when things are bad or not having someone to share the good news with.

However crap they are you don't stop wanting your mum though. Sadly I know I will never have mine.

princessglitter Sat 30-Jul-11 20:30:39

See I don't have a dad - he didn't want me. Sorry neepsntatties sad that is sad. My mum is available occasionally, she just usually has better things to do.

WhoseGotMyEyebrows Sat 30-Jul-11 21:09:53

My dad is a bit like that. Think he has ADD so can't focus on what I am saying for longer then 2 seconds. It's very upsetting. My mum was always on medication which made her a bit drousy so I generally grew up feeling ignored. I sympathise.

redexpat Sat 30-Jul-11 21:21:17

Are you me?!

I have learnt not to ring during the archers. I find when she has downloaded all the things she wants to say and then says 'now then are we all caught up?' I say well if being caught up means that you've talked at me for 10 minutes straight without asking how I am or what's happened this week then yes we are.

Something I do with my sisters is to book a time. In the olden days when my sister first went to uni she would ring at 6pm Sunday night. Could you maybe make a similar arrangement?

diddl Sat 30-Jul-11 21:28:21

Well she does sound dismissive, but I´d rather be out in the sun than on the phone!

But perhaps now that you are an adult, she´s just not that interested in every little thing that you´re up to.

Or just not excited about chickens?

princessglitter Sat 30-Jul-11 21:30:22

I could try, but she is unreliable and I wouldn't put it past her to be out when I phoned.

Recently took ds to docs as he had white eye in photos and a squint - luckily it looks like it is just lazy eye. She phoned to enquire how he was but was drunk out with friends, forgot our conversation and phoned again 2 hours later to have exactly the same conversation.

Imagine if there had been something seriously wrong and she'd phoned me in that state!

princessglitter Sat 30-Jul-11 21:31:17

She's not excited about anything. I barely see her.

tawrag Sat 30-Jul-11 21:37:03

You could try not being interested in her and see how she likes it — taste of own medicine. Worth a try, perhaps?

princessglitter Sat 30-Jul-11 21:39:44

Actually tawrag, that strategy usually works. She eventually rings me, affronted that I haven't rung her...

diddl Sat 30-Jul-11 21:40:29

She does sound self obsessed.

Perhaps you should phone just to ask if she is OK & not get into a conversation?

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