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To not want to tell my mother Im an egg donor?

(16 Posts)
Deflatedballoonbelly Fri 29-Jul-11 22:31:53

She will wear black for a year and tell me I am begrudging her a grandchild and totally not see the point of it. At all. In all seriousness, Im a bit unsure on how/when/if.

EuphemiaMcGonagall Fri 29-Jul-11 22:33:06

I don't see what would be gained by telling her. Does anyone else know?

Deflatedballoonbelly Fri 29-Jul-11 22:34:10

Only my partner. I have been advised to let people know, I.e my children. I have not mentioned a dickie yet though.

ProcrastinatorGeneral Fri 29-Jul-11 22:36:06

You're doing a good thing, and right now nobody need know. There's always time later.

mummyplonk Fri 29-Jul-11 22:37:10

Do they really advise you to tell people? That is a shock as it is surely such a personal soul searching decision you made.

Deflatedballoonbelly Fri 29-Jul-11 22:38:32

Yes MummyPlonk. Because of new laws. It could be a shock for my child to meet someone biologically related to them when they are much older and I have not told them.

EuphemiaMcGonagall Fri 29-Jul-11 22:42:38

So what's your mum's beef if she already has grandchildren? confused

Deflatedballoonbelly Fri 29-Jul-11 22:45:16

She is very black and white you see. Im worried (and probably thinking bad of her) that if the couple conceive and have the baby, she will think I have almost given a baby away. When in fact, I havent. Well, Thats not how I think.

I suppose Im using your answers as a mini therapy session I suppose. Thanks for your replies.

EggDoner Fri 29-Jul-11 22:45:35

Name changer as have family on here.

The only person I have told is my DH. I have not told my DCs as they are to young to understand it.

How far in to the process are you? I get the meds in 2 weeks.

EuphemiaMcGonagall Fri 29-Jul-11 22:48:20

I think it's a beautiful thing you are doing for another couple. smile

Hold your head up high, and sod the dissenters.

Deflatedballoonbelly Fri 29-Jul-11 22:49:11

I get mine first week of Aug, My children are over 5 but under 10 and would understand laymans, But do not feel the need. Are you an anonomous donor? I am.

Deflatedballoonbelly Fri 29-Jul-11 22:49:54

Thank you Euphemia smile

mummyplonk Fri 29-Jul-11 22:51:48

I also think it is so kind, and the most unselfish gift you could give someone. What a shame the amount of red tape there is to do a good deed.

ChristinedePizan Fri 29-Jul-11 22:53:56

If you're an anonymous donor and any offspring can't contact you, I can't see how she might find out.

Even if you weren't, she wouldn't necessarily have to know if your offspring contacted you. Your children is one thing, your mother is an entirely different kettle of fish (or basket of eggs).

And I agree with Euphemia -people like you who are so generous deserve to be hugely praised.

EggDonor Fri 29-Jul-11 22:56:47

Yep an anonomous donor with a good agencey. My dcs range fom 11 to 2. Like you I do not feel the need to tell them. smile

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy Sat 30-Jul-11 02:35:13

I seriously do not see any need for you to tell your dm or your dc at any time in the near future.

In the event that, in 20 or 30 years time or whenever, you are contacted by any biologically related individual(s) you have helped to create, it would be an appropriate time to tell your dm should you wish to introduce a new relative into your family circle.

With regard to your dc, I would suggest that the above advice applies and that you wait until they are mature adults (possibly with dc of their own) before telling them - if, indeed, you decide to do so.

Will you be informed if your donated eggs have resulted in any live births?

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