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To be mortified by DH

(13 Posts)
lovemyangels Fri 29-Jul-11 18:17:54

I have had a phone call from a bank DH and I stopped banking with 4 years ago who advised me we have an outstanding balance on the account of over £1000!! Apparently DH has agreed to pay this back in £100 per month installments and they are awaiting on signed documents from both of us which they sent out on the 15th July in order for the agreement to commence.
I have had no clue that this was going on and we are already struggling for money due to nursery fees for two children and loans and other debts.
I feel so upset I have been lied to and embarrased as I had to tell the man on the phone I had no clue about this and needed to speak to my husband.
To top it off her has just walked in said to me "we will talk when the kids" are in bed, gone outside and is cutting the grass!!
I don't even know what to say to him, I have gone passed anger to numbness!

Sarsaparilllla Fri 29-Jul-11 18:19:26

Omg, I would be fuming as well!!

lovemyangels Fri 29-Jul-11 18:19:30

sorry for typos!

oh and its not the first time!

FabbyChic Fri 29-Jul-11 18:25:11

Id tell him to get a second job to pay it because it is not coming out of the household pot, tell him you won't sign anything that means you have less money every month.

AgentZigzag Fri 29-Jul-11 18:30:30

He must be shitting himself about it.

Has he got form for anything like this before?

What do you think he spent it on?

Try to be calm, hopefully he'll realise he's gone about it the wrong way and has been trying to find a way of telling you how much he's let you down.

Wait to see what he has to say about it before you blow a gasket.

spookshowangel Fri 29-Jul-11 18:42:51

i love it when they do that whole i know i am in the wrong but i am going to be a grown up and use the children as a shield. if this is not the first time you have a problem, make a fool out of me once shame on you, make a fool out of me twice shame on me. i think it maybe time to seriously limit your husbands access to funds he obviously cannot be trusted with them so take away the option.
get him a second job to pay this off like someone else said then get him a second account, no overdraft simple debit card facility so if the money isnt in there he cant spend it and then budget how ever much is fair each month that he needs for what ever.
it might seem unfair to you to have to deal with all of the financials and you are right but its better that than a man who you cant trust to have your back with money, or go out and find yourself an man you dont have to treat like a child financially.
sorry that you are finding your self i debt against your will i hope you can work it out.

BertyBurlington Fri 29-Jul-11 18:48:12

he may not have spent it on anything as such, just left a minus amount and the charges have accrued over the four years since you last used it. thats not unusual but you do have to negotiate with the bank to reduce them, if thats the case

i expect he was trying to keep the worry from you as the poster who took the pay day loan out the other day was trying to do for her partner and everyone went easy on her

mumblechum1 Fri 29-Jul-11 18:52:09

Definitely tell him he has to do a second job or something, even if it's washing up in a pub.

I once stupidly ran up a debt of £3k. I confessed to dh who cleared it immediately, I took a job giving legal advice on the phone from home and paid back every penny to him within 3 months.

redexpat Fri 29-Jul-11 18:54:12

What Berty said.

Journey Fri 29-Jul-11 19:09:40

Agree with Berty

lovemyangels Fri 29-Jul-11 19:25:15

Berty he has just confessed to just that, apparently he did leave a minus amount and its accrued, he has agreed to pay of the £100 oer month until Nov when he gets a bonus and will clear it off and close the account down.

I think I believe him but told him I need to think about how we handle money from now on as I just do not trust he wont do something similar again.


iamamilkmachine Fri 29-Jul-11 19:31:39

Bit of a different angle but if you need a financial statement setting up message me - I'm (unfortunately) a debt collector and can help you sort out what payments to make to who debt wise.

AgentZigzag Fri 29-Jul-11 19:47:36

I was thinking of that poster too berty, it's easily done and can be a huge worry you're not sure of where to start chipping away at.

It seems stupid to keep it from your DP, but understandable.

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