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AIBU?

For finding it really hard to bite my tongue with this horrible 13 year old -

84 replies

VeggieButcher · 29/07/2011 16:56

DS is 13 and has a facebook page as do most of his friends. There is one horrible little bitch in the school who simply will NOT leave him alone. She punches and slaps him at school, calls him horrible names constantly and is now obsessed with making snidey remarks on his facebook page constantly.

Like he was excited about a recent school trip so put that on his status, she just had to write underneath it "would be miles better if you wasn't going" and then "come to think of it, do they even allow retards in alton towers? maybe you should just go back to your cardboard box and stay there for the day?"

Its constant with her and he does NOT encourage her. I've spoken to the school and they have said concerns have been raised about her for a while because she IS a bully.

He deleted and blocked her off facebook and so she sent him all these nice texts saying she was sorry and was just in a shit mood so he added her as a friend again and last night she started on him again over facebook telling everyone he was chatting with on his "wall" that nobody in the school liked him and he was "fucking annoying" and "a complete fucking turd" etc.

I want to write underneath "to say you hate him so much, you can't seem to resist writing constant shit on his facebook page. Why not piss off and leave him alone?" but I know I "can't"

I've told him I want her deleted off his page and blocked as soon as he gets home tonight but I'm finding it SO difficult to bite my tongue. I just want to give her a piece of my mind.

OP posts:

Report

LetThereBeRock · 29/07/2011 16:58

What are the school going to do about her? I'd be bloody furious if they're doing nothing. She sounds utterly vile.

ZillionChocolate · 29/07/2011 16:58

Do you know where she lives? Might her parents intervene if they see what she's doing?

wellwisher · 29/07/2011 17:00

Take screenshots of his profile showing the nasty comments she's made. Then block her. Take the screenshots to the head of the school and get something done about this.

VeggieButcher · 29/07/2011 17:00

The school have contacted her parents who turned around and said "we can't control her" etc. They do sod all about her and now with it being the summer holidays, she's getting away with being the horrible little bitch that she is because school isn't there for me to complain to.

OP posts:

AmberLeaf · 29/07/2011 17:00

Deffo delete and block her.

I know the right thing to say is rise above it....you're an adult etc etc, but I think id be tempted to say something too.

Mind you your DS could then be teased by her for getting mummy to fight his battles.

horrible little cow.

Can you see if her parents are on her friends list? maybe send them a message about her behavior?

RevoltingPeasant · 29/07/2011 17:01

Well how affected is your DS by it?

Don't have DCs yet, but my younger sister was cyberbullied at school - they did stuff like sending her death threats (melodramatic much??) and logging in under the name of a guy she fancied and making fake dates with her. It was pretty nasty and she was understandably affected. I rang her mum up.

However, it sounds as though this girl is just saying silly stuff, and most people know she is a bit of a tosser. If your DS isn't hurt/ bothered by it, and it's not causing problems for him at school, I'd ask him to block her and then forget about it. Only get involved further if you think he has genuinely hurt feelings.

JanMorrow · 29/07/2011 17:01

Do "print screens" of what she has put on facebook and email them to the school, they need to take this seriously and act. Most schools take this sort of this extremely seriously. I wouldn't approach her parents direct if I were you, let the school deal with it.

JanMorrow · 29/07/2011 17:02

Also, the head teacher will be in on occasion throughout the holidays, maybe in a couple of weeks, so don't think they won't read any emails or check messages.

JeremyVile · 29/07/2011 17:02

Blimey, she sounds a right horror.

Totally sympathise with wanting to have words with her but it really wouldn't help ds, she would just use it as another thing to make fun of.

Get ds to delete, again, and don't let him fall for any snivelly back-pedalling this time.

(by the time this posts you'll probably already have had your knuckles rapped over your use of bitch...ignore!)

AngusOg · 29/07/2011 17:07

I think this has gone beyond anything the school can reasonably deal with, especially if the girl has no parental control.

Screen shots and report to the police / social services. I am not joking and I don't give a monkey's about this being a 'child'. Too many kids take their own lives as the result of cyber-bullying (not that I am saying this is a danger, please don't think I am) and the more of these nasty little bullies that have their behaviour nipped in the bud, the better.

The crazy parenting (we can't control her, wtf?) needs professional intervention, hence the Social Services suggestion. If you are in Scotland, I'd be bringing it to the attention of the Children's Reporter too.

ddubsgirl · 29/07/2011 17:08

if school wont do anything,print off copies and take to the police,and make him block & delete her

Tchootnika · 29/07/2011 17:44

Was all set to feel that you were being unfair on a 13yo, Veggie - but having seen your OP, I think not at all!
I agree with Angus

IloveJudgeJudy · 29/07/2011 17:49

I agree with Angus. Take screenshots and report to police now. You have taken it to the school/parents and it is still happening. This is not a trivial issue. Nowadays DC are not even safe from bullies inside their own homes.

Something needs to be done now. I hope you manage to get something sorted by the time school starts again. I would keep evidence of all her posts. I think that sometimes DC send things on FB, etc and seem to think nothing of it. My own DD did that once. Luckily DS1 saw what she had written and we made her take it down immediately. She didn't seem to realise how serious these things can be.

feckwit · 29/07/2011 17:51

well personally I would just block her and not give her the time of day.

stealthsquiggle · 29/07/2011 17:53

Make sure he blocks her and doesn't give in this time.

Take screenshots and keep them on file.

Keep a really close eye on DS - and the first time next year she picks on him, send copies of the screenshots to the head and raise hell.

Mitmoo · 29/07/2011 17:54

OP print if off and give it to the school. I did when my son was threatened. The little gobwotzit denied it and the head of the school slapped his own words with his own name in front of him.

Cue two days in internal exlusion and the gobwotzit learned that FB isn't just to bully people on.

Mitmoo · 29/07/2011 17:55

If the school aren't doing anything just send it to her parents. I'd be gutted if that were my child, actually sod it do both.

jenniec79 · 29/07/2011 17:59

Teachers will be in for GCSE results in a couple of weeks if not before. Senior ones likely to be around more, so you may be able to get hold of HT.

Agree with the above about screenshots. Could your DS then change his FB email account as well as blocking her to be harder to find?

Has the little toerag turned 13 herself yet? Could she prove it? If not report her to FB and get her kicked off for being underage.

ThePosieParker · 29/07/2011 17:59

CAn't you report her to facebook?

thisisyesterday · 29/07/2011 18:00

i would also print it all off and demand a meeting with the head teacher. i would also say that until she is dealt with he will not be in school... it is totally, totally unfair for him to be punched, slapped and called names in school... and theonline bullying takes it to another level

i am not generally an advocate of talking to other parents in these cases, but if you know her parents (or can find them on facebook via her profile) I would also be tempted to get in touch with them about it.

StrandedBear · 29/07/2011 18:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Glitterandglue · 29/07/2011 18:03

Get your son to report her via Facebook as well. With any luck it'll get her banned and teach her that even if her parents don't set any consequences, the rest of the world does. (Then again, I wouldn't hold my breath as it's Facebook, but worth trying). Here's a page which details what to do.

fishtankneedscleaning · 29/07/2011 18:05

Just delete her. And dont add her again. My dd has had a similar problem. The child causing the problem keeps popping up and pleading with dd to add her. No chance! Why would any child want a bully added as a friend on facebook - just to bully them??

Stick with DS's real friends. Nobody deserves a "friend" who pulls them down at any given opportunity.

SpecialFriedRice · 29/07/2011 18:05

Agree with some others - As well as reporting it all to the school report her to facebook for bullying.

MittzyTheVixen · 29/07/2011 18:06

What MitMoo said... , they need confronting and not being given the chance to get away with it.

If the school has the initials A G and you want some support PM me if you want.
It sounds so much like something DS went through with a girl.

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