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To not want any of them at the birth?

(15 Posts)
Belini Fri 29-Jul-11 12:43:36

Best friend, youngest sister and Mum have all assumed that each of them (seperately) will be my birth partner.

Mum is actually not that interested in my pregnancy she didn't take the news well at all.
Sister has been more supportive however has let me down with many things in the past. She is very much an I'll do this that and next thing but it never happens kind of person IYSWIM.
Friend: she is a tota drama queen and not at all calming or reassuring (although I love her to bits for these very reasons) these are not the kind of qualities I would want in a labour room.
I have told them all would like to do it alone. They think I am mad and hormonal and "of course you will need me".
AIBU and has anyone else either done it alone or thinking of doing it?

ENormaSnob Fri 29-Jul-11 12:47:42

Yanbu at all.

eaglewings Fri 29-Jul-11 12:48:08

UANBU to not chose anyone of them to be your birth partner due to the reasons you describe.
I would be very suprised if you did not want one person (someone else ) to be with you in hospital even if they are not present at the birth.
Someone who will get you things, badger the midwife, make phone calls etc for you.
That person is your choice, don't be forced into choosing your mum, bf or sister

CogitoErgoSometimes Fri 29-Jul-11 12:49:53

YANBU if you've got such a bad bunch to choose from. I had a good friend as a birthing partner, much to my mum's disappointment, because I knew she'd be very practical, fighting my corner and that she wouldn't panic if things went wrong. I was right on all counts. Go it alone by all means, but if you can find a good birthing partner, they are worth their weight.

tryingtoleave Fri 29-Jul-11 12:52:18

Do you have anyone to go with you?

Eglu Fri 29-Jul-11 12:52:51

YANBU. Why would anyone assume they would be your birth partner unless you asked them?

Belini Fri 29-Jul-11 12:57:19

Apart from those three no but really don't want any of them and after having three very uncomplicated quick labours I don't feel any of them will be necessary. I don't want to have one of them just for the sake of it then regret it.

MadamDeathstare Fri 29-Jul-11 12:57:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Belini Fri 29-Jul-11 12:59:20

Eglu because they are all either overbearing, nosey or trying to outdo the other grin

Belini Fri 29-Jul-11 13:01:11

Deffo no to someone I don't know unless of course midwives doctors etc. Thankyou for the suggestion though.

SpecialFriedRice Fri 29-Jul-11 13:01:43


I had my DD alone and was fine. I hate people trying to comfort me when I'm in pain or upset. I just want to FEEL what I'm feeling and deal with it in my own way. Having someone else there would have pissed me off.

If you do it on your own you will be fine.

Pootles2010 Fri 29-Jul-11 13:03:14

You'll need someone to drive you to hospital though won't you? Could they drive you there, but be bannned from delivery room?

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy Fri 29-Jul-11 13:05:39


I'd hazard a guess that there will be other mums near you (who may also be mumsnetters) who'd happily offer to be your birth partner, but of course you would need to 'interview' them to assess their individual qualities, attitudes, unflappability, etc and ascertain whether you feel you can trust them with such an important role.

Have you explored the possibility of engaging the services of a doula?

Fuzzywuzzywozabear Fri 29-Jul-11 13:05:56

I would never tell DH this, but when I had DS3 (DC4), I was so in tune with the midwife and her me, that I actually didn't need him there - she listened to everything I wanted beforehand and then followed through with what we'd agreed - yes you can do it on your own - yanbu

good luck

Ormirian Fri 29-Jul-11 13:08:04

Given another chance I'd do it alone. MW was fine and she let me get on with it mostly. DH just worried and smelt of fags (he was nervous so smoked about 10 on the way to the hospital)

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