partner gets own flat

[mopsera]

...we met 3 yrs ago and he moved into my housing assoc. flat. he spent 1.5 years going on and on about the town we were in and how awful it was. i was getting itchy feet too but finding it hard to let go of somewhere that is the only place that ever felt like 'home' and where id had my happiest years so far.finally we were offered a bigger rural transfer flat as i was pregnant. however it was a big rush and i had little time to look into the place.he pressured me saying 'you must take this or else...' we took it. my concern was we would get stuck out in the sticks and no one would want to exchange if we didnt like it. thats been proved right so far...its been 1.5 yrs now and i have been at times very depressed/claustrophobic here, as i have made no freinds, have no family here, and its far too quiet, plus transport links are infrequent.we have no car. we seperated a few months ago financially as money was tight and he has now succesfuly got his own h.a. flat- in the nxt road along from my old place where we lived before! he wants to exchange it eventually to move to a town we both wanted to get to eventually. i have mixed feelings! we now have 2 homes and i have somewhere to see old freinds/ family and he too, but i have no car, and am still here. stuck. im mad too.is this unreasonable

[mopsera]

....also he had pressured me at one point to 'get out of social housing' as its 'a bind and a tie' hypocrit?!

[Tortoiseonthehalfshell]

So are you separated separated, or have you moved into two residences in order to claim benefits as a single living person?

If he wanted to live in the rural flat and you don't, why not swap?

[BornSicky]

it's a ridiculous system that makes it financially better for a couple to live apart in two different housing association properties.

[mumblechum1]

mopsera, are you working? If so, couldn't you rent somewhere privately in the town? It must be hard to depend on transfers etc, and you may feel a lot better if you take control of the situation by renting something privately.

[EricNorthmansMistressOfPotions]

So you are pretending to be separated in order to get more state help and two subsidised properties? Nope, you lost me there, sorry.

[squeakytoy]

"we now have 2 homes"

I thought you had separated, or are you just taking the piss out of the system, and denying someone who genuinely needs a home the opportunity to have a place.

[GypsyMoth]

I was in a homeless hostel with 4 dc for a YEAR waiting for social housing to be freed up!!!!

How can you block like this? Do you have dc together? Who works?

[SuePurblybilt]

How the feckery does a single man get a HA flat? Does he have custody of children?

[AgentProvocateur]

I feel for you, being stuck out in the sticks with no transport, but YABVU complain about your circumstances, yet admit to having "separated financially" so that you can get more money and a house each. What you call "separating financially", others might call "benefit fraud".

[ENormaSnob]

Are you together or not?

[FreudianSlipper]

sorry i do not get this i am entitled to it so i shall get it attitude, ha and council are for those in need not to support a life style choice if you are still together this really is abusing the system.

[MrsWembley]

I too am confused - 'we now have two flats'

I don't understand how HA provision works as I've never claimed anything off the state (until I had children and now that's only child benefit), but this sounds very dodgy, especially when you describe yourselves as having separated 'financially'. Think about what you're asking and who you are asking it of before posting on AIBU.

[manicbmc]

I'm really liberal in my attitudes but even I find it a bloody piss take that you are together but living separately in 2 HA properties. It took me a year to get my tiny council house. I was in an emotionally, and eventually physically, abusive marriage where a refuge/b and b was not an option because of my ds's disability.

You moved there. Your choice. Try making the most of it. At least you have somewhere to live.

[GypsyMoth]

HA works by a waiting list after being allocated points/banding. Long lists in most places. How he managed to get one alone based on what op states, is beyond me!

Unless he lied to get it? He had a suitable home with you op, he wasn't homeless! Has he suddenly become disabled?

If you had declared he lived with you then how has he got himself a separate place? Did you declare him?

[caramelwaffle]

I think he may, just may, have declared that he was single, with the child, to be "bumped" up the list (as OP had already secured one of the HA flats)

[caramelwaffle]

...or lives in an area with short (is it possible?) lists.

[HeatherSmall]

Well the OP won't be back unless she has the hide of a Rhino.

[Memeandme]

When my friends split up her partner was given a ha flat, they knew he didn't have the kids with him so it does sometimes happen

[SiamoFottuti]

oh god not another one....

[GypsyMoth]

The flat he got us big enough for all of them to stay in tho...... Op moves between the 2. Don't know how many or how many dc, but it's suitable for them all!