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can he cause a problem?

(163 Posts)
charminggirl Thu 28-Jul-11 22:25:38

I want to move away with my daughter and my new partner - my ex is saying he's going to talk to his lawyer and see about custody and I'm worried he's going to try and stop us or take us away. We haven't sorted PR yet as not been split up that long: if he gets it, can he stop us moving?

worraliberty Thu 28-Jul-11 22:27:47

How far do you want to move?

What do you mean by 'I'm worried he's going to try and stop us or take us away'??

Tchootnika Thu 28-Jul-11 22:27:57

Very unlikely that he can stop you moving from what you say here.

charminggirl Thu 28-Jul-11 22:28:57

not take us, sorry, her.
The move is a couple of hundred miles.

GypsyMoth Thu 28-Jul-11 22:29:46

he can certainly try

how old is your dd and what is current contact arrangements?

Birdsgottafly Thu 28-Jul-11 22:30:24

If he is the father, he will be awarded PR jointly with you.

The other part depends on individual circumstances.

charminggirl Thu 28-Jul-11 22:30:51

6 - and shared parenting 50% each way.

reelingintheyears Thu 28-Jul-11 22:31:42

Are you going to move closer to family?
That might help.

Birdsgottafly Thu 28-Jul-11 22:33:17

Then surely you will have to go back to court anyway to sort out contact arrangements.

You should have taken legal advice before you mentioned moving, if he is the type to behave unreasonably.

worraliberty Thu 28-Jul-11 22:34:37

Why do you want to take your DD away from her Dad? sad

Birdsgottafly Thu 28-Jul-11 22:34:44

TBH if this is his reaction, then all you can do is have a solisitor acting for you.

Have you had shared residency and has it actually been happening 50-50?

reelingintheyears Thu 28-Jul-11 22:35:10

50% shared parenting will make it more difficult for you to move 200 miles from your DDs father.

Who will do Fathers 50% when you move?

Is it in DDs best interests to move so far from her Father?

cannydoit Thu 28-Jul-11 22:36:54

is he a good dad? if you have shared parenting 50/50 up to this point how is it a good idea for your daughter to move her away from her father? this is a massive upheaval for her. unless there are things you are not telling us about your ex wont she be devastated?
i think he has every right to do this and should.

charminggirl Thu 28-Jul-11 22:37:27

We want to move for job prospects. He has her half the time but I think he is over-stating how he feels about this and actual just resents my new partner. I think she'll be fine once the move has happened and just get on with things, but he is saying it's not ok and she's not happy etc.

GeorgeWeasleysGirl Thu 28-Jul-11 22:38:38

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

faverolles Thu 28-Jul-11 22:39:17

Shouldn't he have the right to see his daughter and vice versa? confused

reelingintheyears Thu 28-Jul-11 22:39:25

Your new partner has no part in this.....

Your DD deserves to have a relationship with you AND her Dad.

charminggirl Thu 28-Jul-11 22:39:46

She has been fine with the split and we won't make it hard for her to see him!

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy Thu 28-Jul-11 22:40:27

He won't necessarily be able to prevent you moving, but you may need to prove to a Court that any move will not impinge on the time he is able to spend with his dd.

I'm more concerned about the fact that you 'haven't been split up long' but it would seem that you have already introduced a new partner to your dd, and are planning to move 200 miles away to be with him.

From the scant information you've made available, it would seem that your ex (were you married and, if so, are you divorced?) may have legitimate cause for concern.

faverolles Thu 28-Jul-11 22:40:49

So moving 200 miles away won't make it hard? Really? hmm

reelingintheyears Thu 28-Jul-11 22:40:56

And GeorgeWeasleysGirl....a bit much.


ivykaty44 Thu 28-Jul-11 22:42:08

Thats a bit rich - you are afraid he will take your dd away, it is what you say in your op - but when he - your ex p is afraid of you taking your dd aways you think he is over stating how he feels about this and actually resents my new partner...hmm

I doubt your ex would be able to prevent your move - but I know how I would feel if my dd was to move 200 miles away

Birdsgottafly Thu 28-Jul-11 22:42:12

It is posiible then that the move will be blocked at least until the court is satisfied that it is making the right decision, which could take months, if at all.

Have you thought how parenting will be shared, does his job allows him to have her during the school holidays.

You seem to be dismissing the importance of his relationship with her.

worraliberty Thu 28-Jul-11 22:42:39

You think he's over stating it? hmm

How would you like it if someone took your little girl over 200 miles away?

Do you think your concerns would be over stated??

GeorgeWeasleysGirl Thu 28-Jul-11 22:42:40

If you've made a life choice like having a child with someone then in my view you have committed to being within a reasonable distance from that person until the child is old enough to be able to travel to then alone. It is completely unreasonable to take someones child hundreds of miles away from them.

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