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to be annoyed with DH (I probably am but need to get it off my chest anyway)

(14 Posts)
louschmoo Thu 28-Jul-11 19:03:50

I am pregnant (41 + 3) with first baby, and booked in for an induction on Monday night. So the maximum number of evenings left I have with my DH before our lives change permanently is 4, including tonight. He phoned me earlier this evening to say he'd be home late as he's going out for drinks after work and I should go ahead and have dinner without him. He was out with his friends last Sat night and didn't come home till 3.30am. He has had at least one night out per week with his friends or colleagues since I got pregnant. During my maternity leave we have been out a few times, (cinema, dinner etc) but always at my instigation.

Usually I wouldn't mind him going out for a few drinks after work, but I can't help being pissed off tonight. I want to go out for a few drinks, or dinner, or somewhere fun. NOT ONCE during my maternity leave has he phoned and said 'why don't you join us for drinks' or 'come and meet me after work and we'll go out' or anything like that. I'm bored of being pregnant, and hormonal. It seems like we have such a short time left of freedom from babysitters and forward planning for every night out, so I want us to make the most of it together. I want to be included in the fun too. [stamps feet and wails].

AIBU?

TheMagnificentBathykolpian Thu 28-Jul-11 19:07:00

What did he say when you told him how you feel?

cricketballs Thu 28-Jul-11 19:07:38

why haven't you suggested to your dh that you will meet him after work etc? He might think that you are too tired to go out and therefore not suggested it

GlitterySkulls Thu 28-Jul-11 19:09:21

yanbu... what if you go into labour tonight? when he rolls home, i'd make it clear he was a selfish arsehole.

don't get worked up though (easier said than done, i know) stressing won't do you or baby any good.

TattyDevine Thu 28-Jul-11 19:11:17

Depends how much you are making him read between the lines as to whether YABU.

But at 41+100 or whatever you are you can be a right cow, really.

If you go in tonight and he's pissed/hungover, that wills suck. At this late stage, whilst he might be wanting to make the most of his last "freedom", it shouldn't be at the expense of you or your very soon to be born child...

PinkSchmoo Thu 28-Jul-11 19:12:18

At 41+3 even if I thought ywbu I wouldn't be brave enough to tell you. I don't however. I loath men doing the yfs thing with a v pregnant partner. DH didn't drink after I was 37 weeks either pregnancy and that seemed pretty common amongst his friends. As for turning in at 3am at the weekend? I think that's pretty selfish and thoughtless.

Kayzr Thu 28-Jul-11 19:13:36

I'm with Glitteryskulls, what if you go into labour while he is out drinking?

fedupofnamechanging Thu 28-Jul-11 19:16:10

He shouldn't be out drinking in case you go into labour. You have to tell him why you are unhappy, although tbh, he shouldn't want to go out without you at this stage imo.

Make sure when you have the baby, that he doesn't carry on like this and leave you home all the time.

louschmoo Thu 28-Jul-11 19:21:16

Thanks for all the responses!!! To be fair to him he won't drink very much at all so I don't expect him to come home drunk or be hungover tomorrow. And I haven't told him how pissed off I am about tonight because he was at work when he called and I didn't want to have a big to-do. I have said to him several times before though that I would like for us to go out and make the most of our last few weeks/days of freedom. And I was pretty clear with him last weekend about how pissed off I was that he came home so late. He was very apologetic (and hadn't been drinking much, just got carried away chatting).

He is usually lovely, I know he's just not thinking about things from my POV. His thought process is 'drinks after work - Louschmoo hasn't had baby yet, I'm not too far from home if she calls, I won't have more than 2 drinks - why not go?'.

I suppose the basic thing is that I wouldn't mind him going out with his friends if he also suggested something fun to do with me too. I have told him this before. I think he just has stupid man-brain. I will talk to him when he gets home...again.

louschmoo Thu 28-Jul-11 19:23:53

Cricketballs - it's a work thing (leaving drinks for someone I think) and generally partners/friends are not invited to these. Otherwise I might have suggested that.

ChaoticAngelofGryffindor Thu 28-Jul-11 19:27:06

If you want to go out then go out, if you're feeling up to it which you are by the sounds of it. Okay, you can't drink but why not see if a friend is available to go out with you this weekend.

Whatmeworry Thu 28-Jul-11 19:29:56

"I am pregnant (41 + 3) with first baby.....

Sorry, but as soon as I read this I thought of the current thread on predictable MN threads grin

Whatmeworry Thu 28-Jul-11 19:31:04

This Thread

louschmoo Thu 28-Jul-11 19:35:39

Chaotic - yes, you're right I know. The thing is (and this is definitely me being hormonal) I want to go out and have some fun with him, and I'm fed up of being the one who has to suggest stuff. I suppose there is an undercurrent of 'my life is changing and he just gets to carry on doing the same things he alsways has' to it as well.

But maybe a girls night out this weekend (if I haven't popped) would be a good idea smile.

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