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to be cross with DD for not telling on DS?

(20 Posts)
RedHotPokers Thu 28-Jul-11 14:31:49

This morning somehow DS (2yo) managed to reach my handbag (on a shelf), remove a pen from it, draw a picture on the living room floor (laminate) AND then leaked ink out of it (by breaking it) on my dining room carpet.

I was cross with him for being naughty (and with myself for not realising he could reach my bag whilst I was upstairs for a few minutes). But I was almost more annoyed with DD (almost 5) for watching him do it and not calling me (normally she can't wait for him to be in trouble!).

AIBU to be equally as cross with DD, or am I expecting too much of her?

BelleDameSansMerci Thu 28-Jul-11 14:37:18

I often used to be blamed for my younger brother's misdemeanours (I'm 46, you'd think I'd be over it by now grin) and it used to really upset me. If she didn't realise he was doing it or she was doing something else at the time , I don't think it's fair for you to be cross at her too. If you think/believe she let him do it knowing that he would be in trouble, that's a whole other matter!

TheBigJessie Thu 28-Jul-11 14:37:37

I think expecting a four year old to supervise her little brother is rather unfair, and that's basically what it would be.

sparkle12mar08 Thu 28-Jul-11 14:37:55

YABU unreasonable to be equally cross at her, it's not her job to discipline her brother I'm afraid smile

Dont blame your DD - it;s not her job to make sure your DS is behaving. She's only 5, still tiny herself so sorry and in the nicest possible way YABU - although I dont blame you for being fed up!

TheCrackFox Thu 28-Jul-11 14:40:45


She isn't even 5 yet.

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy Thu 28-Jul-11 14:41:47

YABU to expect a 5 year old to police another child.

YABVU to be as cross with your dd as you are with your ds.

RedHotPokers Thu 28-Jul-11 14:43:50

I thought I was BU. I am an older sibling so know how it feels, and I know its wrong to expect her to be responsible for him.

But she said she watched him do it and then forgot to tell me! Grrr!

Andrewofgg Thu 28-Jul-11 15:48:54

You wait till they deliberately protect each other . . .

CustardCake Thu 28-Jul-11 15:51:32

YABVU to blame DD at all. Unless she colluded with DS in some way (eg if she gave him a chair to stand on and helped him reach the bag) then it is mainly DS's fault for being naughty, partially your fault for lack of supervision and leaving your bag where it could be raided and not DD's fault in any way at all.

2shoes Thu 28-Jul-11 15:51:57


valiumredhead Thu 28-Jul-11 15:52:29

YABU definitely. I remember my mum going apeshit at me when my little sister painted her face (!) I hadn't even noticed! And look, I still remember it 35 years later!

WasSparklies Thu 28-Jul-11 15:56:55

YABU.. but my two oldest are of a similar age and this sort of thing happens a lot, so I can relate to your feelings very much so. It is unreasonable to blame the oldest or even tell them off, but I know just what you mean!

CoffeeDog Thu 28-Jul-11 16:00:48

My 5yr old dd watchs her twin brother do all sorts of things including painting my wall with the contents of his potty.

This never occurs to her to tell me.... although should he go near her 'stuff' it a whole other story....

allhailtheaubergine Thu 28-Jul-11 16:04:12

YABU smile

kakapo Thu 28-Jul-11 16:11:42

YABU... if you tell her off for this you will end up with her telling tales on her brother. She won't know the difference between small and big things, and will end up in trouble for telling tales!

lazarusb Thu 28-Jul-11 16:37:44

My MIL blamed Dh when his 2 year old DS drank bleach from a lemonade bottle. He was 4. To this day she can't see that it really wasn't his fault but hers angry At least your ds only managed pen on a carpet grin

Jude89 Thu 28-Jul-11 17:35:26

if it was Biro, white spirit/meths should get it off.

Seems a bit harsh to blame her...

worraliberty Thu 28-Jul-11 17:38:23

Are you sure he did it and not her?

It would make sense why she didn't tell you if she was the one who reached your bag?

CustardCake Thu 28-Jul-11 19:37:28

worraliberty - you were obviously the youngest sibling in the family trying to shift the blame to his poor sister! grin

Its normally pretty easy to spot the guilty party when a leaky biro is involved! I am guessing he was covered in ink and caught red handed (or blue handed as the case may be!)

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