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To ask how you discipline your child

(120 Posts)
alowVera Thu 28-Jul-11 13:10:33

without getting into the smacking debate? (just to make that clear),
More of a general question of what works for you? Sticker charts, naughty step, etc?
We're using a red STOP card with 3yo dd, and was just wondering if there is anything else I can try with a language delayed child?
What works for you with your toddlers?

NoobyNoob Thu 28-Jul-11 13:12:33

Removing him from the situation usually works. He hates not knowing what's going on, so I sit him in the hall until he's calmed down enough and sorry enough to come back into the room.

BertyBurlington Thu 28-Jul-11 13:16:33

Depends on situation, but generally tell them off

if carry on, smack and no! or go to room and stay there until told to come down

Callisto Thu 28-Jul-11 13:16:42

DD always responded to explanations. Ie 'We don't do that because xyz, and therefore I don't want you doing it either'. I've never used the 'naughty step' I hate the idea of it.

MrsOwhat Thu 28-Jul-11 13:18:31

I use a 'time out' spot. Nursery don't use the word naughty so nor do I

I also use a sticker chart but this doesn't always work - sometimes get back, "well, I don't want a sticker!"

I try to talk rather than yell

I explain rather than bark orders

Reward good behaviour - but not with sweets

I find taking a favourite (or perhaps not so favourite) toy away works as a deterrent and punishishment

It is a hard job bringing up kids and a lot easier to not discipline but that will be harder in the long run

worraliberty Thu 28-Jul-11 13:18:56

Continuity

I actually feel really sorry for toddlers when their parents tell them repeatedly to stop doing something or to come here...then when the child ignores them, the parent gives up.

Child does exactly the same thing the next day and gets punished for it.

StrandedBear Thu 28-Jul-11 13:19:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

worraliberty Thu 28-Jul-11 13:20:01

What's wrong with a child being told they're being naughty when they're being naughty? confused

CustardCake Thu 28-Jul-11 13:22:44

Always following through on a threat consequence and let them know that you really mean what you say. So if you say no to crisps or TV or staying up late, they know that no amount of tantrums or begging gets you to change your mind and relent. Kids can sniff out weakness and if you ever relent for a quiet life they will prey on you ceaselessly!! grin

And on the days that you are ill or really do want a quiet life just for a few hours, pretending you haven't seen them sneaking extra crisps is better than challenging the behaviour and then backing down and letting them win the crisp battle (TV battle or whatever battle)

kayah Thu 28-Jul-11 13:23:16

Practice "the look" and different tones of voice for different occasions

Callisto Thu 28-Jul-11 13:23:18

We are not allowed to call a child 'naughty' as it is a lable. Only the act itself is naughty...

MrsOwhat Thu 28-Jul-11 13:23:53

What constitues being naughty worral?

cuteboots Thu 28-Jul-11 13:24:06

loss of privilages its the only thing that works for me. He gets one warning and I tell him what hes done wrong and then his Bike/psp or other stuff he enjoys gets removed for one day. If the behaviour continues he looses them for longer . Its tough but it does work

Callisto Thu 28-Jul-11 13:24:10

Doh, label.

kayah Thu 28-Jul-11 13:24:35

*practise (of course)

CustardCake Thu 28-Jul-11 13:24:39

Praise - that's the other side too of course. Any sniff that they are finally doing the thing that you want them to do (even half hearted chucking of lego back in its box instead of concerted tidying up for example) is deserving of drawn out and descriptive praise and will get them doing more of what you want.

alowVera Thu 28-Jul-11 13:26:48

Callisto I did that with dd1, which worked with her, now send her (dd1 5yo) to her room, but dd2 just doesn't have the understanding of spoken language, (like talking to a 7month old), which is fine when they are 7months old, but at 3 she's more active than a 7month old, Iykwim.

Shitter Thu 28-Jul-11 13:28:04

i scream and shout. That shuts them up

corygal Thu 28-Jul-11 13:28:27

I agree with a lot of The Look advocates. I use:

Over 5s = eyebrows, power of - and tone of voice.

Under 5s = Bodily removal if they are really kicking off.

alowVera Thu 28-Jul-11 13:31:23

Scenaro for you. Dd climbs up and pulls all DVDs of a shelf (4ft high), when I say stop, she doesn't, when I remove her, she goes back, continuously. take her out of the room for 5minute or so, or distract her with another toy, and she will just go back to the DVD shelf again.
WWYD?
(short of removing the DVDs because there's nowhere else to put them.

superjobee Thu 28-Jul-11 13:34:22

ive always went with stern talking to, or when really angry make them sit at the top of the hallway till im ready to deal with them then a stern talking to. if its just general naughtiness/over hyper etc usually saying their name in a strict mum voice does the job.

sims2fan Thu 28-Jul-11 13:36:56

I think that you should only issue threats if you really mean it. So if you have gone to stay with relatives, and your toddler starts throwing toys, pulling the dog's tail, or whatever, then don't say "if you do that again we'll go home" unless you really are prepared to take the child home if the behaviour continues.

And like Worra said, if you allow something one day, then it's really unfair to not allow it the next. That way lies madness - children will try and get away with all sorts as they know there is a chance it will be a day when they're allowed to do something they know they really shouldn't.

RumourOfAHurricane Thu 28-Jul-11 13:37:20

Message withdrawn

HighBrows Thu 28-Jul-11 13:43:25

I have a very very bold high spirited 9 year old. She is my youngest. The only thing that works with her is to be physically removed from the room. The 'look' means nothing to her, the 'tone' she will gladly ignore. My patience are very thin with her, but the more I give out to her the worse she is sad

I however think she is in a horrible spiral of negative attention, so my plan is to overly reward her for any kind of good behaviour. Literally catch her being good and praise her highly.

So my advice is catch them being good!

worraliberty Thu 28-Jul-11 13:43:41

What constitues being naughty worral?

The list is far too long to type and it's fairly obvious when a child is displaying naughty behaviour isn't it? confused

I mean really. Children are generally not smacked any more (fair enough) but if we're going to go down the route of not even mentioning when they're being naughty, well words fail me.

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