To want to crawl in a corner and hide(14 Posts)
I have 3 DC 8, just turned 3 and 18 months. These past few weeks, months they have been ruthless. Fighting, arguing, screaming, spitting, chucking things, etc. It is mainly my very very naughty 3 year old DS who is the main instergater. Today after coming home from a full day at ( I work full time so should enjoy coming home to spend time with my 3 DC) they have been so hard work. My DH works shifts and is on lates so i'm on my own. I love my babies to bits but I feel like i'm losing the plot.
Is this normal or am I just a bad mother. I feel like I am always shouting, bad tempered and moody lately. All I want is my children to get on and be well behaved.
Any one out there ever feel the same.
Yes, definitely. You are a long way from being the only one. Do you have anyone wise you can go to for help, a friend or family member?
Yes I have a lot of help off my parents but even they say they struggle to control my 3 year old. Lol there asleep now and look like angels but it all starts again tomorrow. I see other mums who always seem happy and there children always seem to behave. I don't know where I am going wong. I hate myself some times as all I seem to do is shout stop that, No, Put that down, come here, sit down......
I feel so horrid once they have gone to bed.
it is when you have the lightbulb moment that they are not going to be happy friends and wonderful siblings like a scene from the walton, but they argue, snitch, fight and annoy and every now and again play nicely together. I have imaginary ear plugs and blank out the screams.
I find getting out helps massively. When I'm at home and it's all happening in a confined space, I find it harder and harder to deal with and hear myself screaming in a way that I never ever meant to (pre-children!). I am irritable, grouchy, and I snap and yell. I don't like me very much then. If we get out, I seem to undergo a bit of a personality transplant. Being on show helps - instead of snapping, I become the world's most tolerant mummy. I smile benignly and my dd seems to respond, and that, together with having something to occupy her, turns her into a much nicer child than the one that I was hollering at 30 minutes before (I told you NOT to paint the walls - yes I know Daddy was but he was DECORATING. No, you AREN'T decorating - when you do it, it's called making a mess.) Plus, when we are out, she has my undivided attention, and I am not worrying about what hell she's creating in another room while I try to clean the bathroom! So chores don't get done - well, to be honest, while I'm doing chores she's creating more work for me somewhere else in the house which has to be put right when she's playing with her Daddy or when she's in bed. May as well get her out so she doesn't create that work to start with, and just do the one set of chores while she is with Daddy or in bed!
Choose your battles and use time outs/naughty step/whatever - always follow through with punishments.
Apart from that, there is no way you can make them like eachother at that age, so don't try.
My sister swore by exercising them like big dogs! I have only had boys too and they are relentless but selective deafness and blindness will keep you sane.
I remember being at my mum's house with sis and her boys (similar age to mine) they were around the 8/9 age group.
The noises they were making were blood curdling as they played upstairs and my mum was aghast - my sister and I didn't hear a thing!
Also remember 3 year old is middle child - not baby anymore and has never had you to himself like the eldest - classic attention seeking.
God - there's 6 more weeks of this! Good luck and we've all been there.
Oh the naughty step tried that he just laughs at me and asks to go back on the little bugger. Again come bed time I have perked up as I have had around a hour to myself. I am very lucky to have my kids and family who babysit when ever. They even ring me up to see if they can look after them. Yes I am spoilt. But I just wish I could enjoy spending good qualty time with them but it just seems like a struggle all the time. I know I am not the only one who finds it hard to cope.
Just having a moan which we all do. I have started the star chart step thing which seems to be working. He is attention seeking I know that but I do try to give them all the attention I can.
The problem is I think my DD my youngest had alot of medical problems when she was born and it took a year for it all to settle down (6 months ago) so a baby sister who needed more attention than normal seemed to have played a part. But I just hope his behavour settles down.
OP, my 3 year old is an absolute nightmare too. Other DCs 9 and 4 are fine, so so different in behaviour.
I will get flamed for this but, I have honestly thought about getting a book from library....puppy training!
I would agree that they need exercising at least twice a day...
You are moat definetly not alone. Dp and I work in the same palce so we switch at three, today for instance he looked after DS, brought him into work at three and I took him home when my shift had finished. He gets awfully cranky during the evening and I'm wrecked as been working since 6 and then home to more cooking cleaning etc.Something I read on MN a while ago was pretend somone is watching you, e.g a camera and it seems so much easier. I realised that I was far more relaxed and calm with DS whenb out and about as there were people who were watching. Sounds terrible and a bit mad but it works!
Now I find that I try to distract DS or just sit and play with him for a few minutes, even try to explain why he can't put his train in the toilet without saying no no no and getting frustrated and feeling like crap. I sing and dance or make a silly face and it mostly makes us both laugh. I sometimes still have days where I feel awful and have been snappy and impatient but they happen less often.
I have 3 dogs aswell maybe I should put leads and collars on my kids and teach them to sit lol. That's a thought kids could sleep in the kitchen and live out side during the day and the dogs can have there beds. At least then the house would be tidy and the dogs will stay when I tell them too lol.
I like that BodyofChristLegsofTinaTurner I will try that one of pretend I'm being watched. Also they do always seem wihngy in the evening.
Glad to help. [also glad that it doesn't sound too mad]
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