Am i overusing dd's creche?

[missmalteser]

So dd (2) started a creche a few weeks ago & we pay for a full time place, as the pt hours they offer wouldnt suit my working week & ft is actually not that much more expensive, within my working week i work 2 full days & 3 half ones, before the creche this would have meant i picked up dd from cm as soon as i got home & she was with me the rest of the day, however, using this week as an example, on monday i decided to gut the house, do some cooking to restock the freezer & catch up on the ironing, today dd's gran asked to pick her up & take her out to a friends for dinner (creche is now on her route) & on Fri dp wants us to head into town for a nice leisurely lunch.

Should i feel guilty i've been taking advantage of the extra hours we pay for anyway? I must admit i have felt really on top of things and a lot less stressed than usual this week, on one hand I feel in the back of my mind its a bad habit to get into, on the other it was so nice to pick her up from creche & not have a million & one things hanging over my head to do, we went to the park, played in the garden & spent what felt like more "quality" time together, because i'd already got the chores out of the way a lot faster than i usually would have. Or am i just really bad at managing my time?

[cookielove]

No, your not. You pay for it, its up to you how you use it!!

[RitaMorgan]

Do you mean you feel guilty at not spending the time with your dd? Or that you're taking advantage of the creche? I'm not clear.

[worraliberty]

You sound like you're trying to justify yourself to people here?

Your child - your relationship.

[keepcalmandeatcake]

It sounds lovely. If the creche are doing lovely, fun things with her and then you're doing lovely, fun things with her it sounds like a win win situation. I think watching Mummy load the diswasher is over-rated as an activity. Am .

[Catsu]

Sounds ideal! You get the chores out the way so you all enjoy the time you do spend together much more!
And how nice for you and dh to have a lunch just the two of you on fri. Enjoy it, things like that are great for your relationship (and therefor the whole family!)

[missmalteser]

Yes its probably both these issues! Although dd adores it i just feel that doesnt mean I can just leave her there all day and swan off to lunch (though that wouldnt be a usual occurance, its usually much more mundane! I guess I do feel guilty and am wondering should I be justifying myself, should i make a more conscious effort to pick her up earlier if im not at work?

[RitaMorgan]

It's a very personal choice. 2 full days and 3 half days feels like quite a lot to me, so I would want ds home the rest of the time.

If you and your dd are happy though, that's what matters.

[scottishmummy]

you pay for the hours so use them how you wish
if you need childfree time up to you

[missmalteser]

Maybe just a classic case of parental guilt then, tbh when i do go to pick her up she usually looks like she would rather stay there anyway lol! Although i do see your pov too RM, its kinda how i feel and am battling against, i dont know if it makes anyway difference but even on her full days the latest i get her is 4:30, so does leave some time for park etc. I am sure it will calm down in a couple of weeks when the novelty wears off though.

[MeconiumHappens]

How about alternating between early pick ups and late pick up, so you still get a break but with a bit less guilt? Don't feel guilty about taking some time to yourself or to spend with oh though. Everyone has different needs.