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To absolutely detest wallpaper, in fact it should be fecking banned

(92 Posts)
ApocalypseCheeseToastie Tue 26-Jul-11 22:04:41

I can't bloody stand the stuff, who on earth came up with the idea ? Who ?

Who saw a perfectly good house with nice walls and thought to themselves, I know what i'll do, i'll giftwrap it ?

A twat, that's who.

Because the problem with wallpaper is it has to be scaraped off to be replaced, EVERY LITTLE PIECE

In stupidly high places.

I mean what is the sodding point in hanging wallpaper 30foot in the air ? PAINT the fucking thing you fools, it's easier.

I hope you appreciate this thread btw, it was posted with blistered hands from a wilted cheese who has spent the day scraping walls in preperation for new blissful, cglorious plaster. Which will then be painted with relish.

If i'm not around tomorrow it's because I snapped my neck trying to get the wallpaper off the fucking ceiling in above the landing with a huge drop that some sadistic twat hung 20 or so years ago angry

ApocalypseCheeseToastie Tue 26-Jul-11 22:06:49

Apologies for typos and obviously I mean the euphoric type of relish not the edible stuff.

I am such a tired, wilted cheese sad

TheMagnificentBathykolpian Tue 26-Jul-11 22:07:22

I agree.


What fool thought that sticking tiny bits of wood into paper and sticking it on the wall was a good look?

cjbartlett Tue 26-Jul-11 22:09:15

Ha ha!!

Well we've just stripped our hall

The Walls underneath are beyond crap so we could plaster, put in undercoat and another two coats

Which takes bloody ages

So we will wallpaper cos it makes the most if bad Walls and is quicker

ApocalypseCheeseToastie Tue 26-Jul-11 22:09:22

Pah, magnificent, I see your woodchip and raise my artex angry

nevergoogle Tue 26-Jul-11 22:09:53

oh i saw some beautiful wallpaper with exotic birds on it in a massive house the other day. huge print.
not for my house though, that would look mental.

have you tried scraping off glued of leaf skeletons?? fucksake. why do people do this shit, for normals to have to come along and fix and paint.

cjbartlett Tue 26-Jul-11 22:10:35

We found all sorts under our 70s wallpaper - foil, polystyrene, grim
Brown paper that refuses to come off

TheMagnificentBathykolpian Tue 26-Jul-11 22:10:49

Oh god, artex. I nearly scraped off my whole ARM on deadly artex in a place I lived in in my youth!

Bloody stuff.

tbh, when it gets like that, all you can do is burn your house down and start again.

ApocalypseCheeseToastie Tue 26-Jul-11 22:11:14

Takes ages cjbartlet but oh so worth it in the long run. When those walls are starting to look grubb in a year or so just stick on a load more paint, you can even get scrubbable stuff ffs !

ShowOfHands Tue 26-Jul-11 22:11:41

I adore wallpaper.

<strokes walls>

queenmaeve Tue 26-Jul-11 22:11:53

Dh nearly murdered me when he came home and I had got the dining room and our bedroom papered with a boo tee ful feature wall. Our house is a new build and walls are perfect. But I dont care, I loves it!!!

ApocalypseCheeseToastie Tue 26-Jul-11 22:12:52

I can't wait to see those pink plastered walls, I just can't.

My bumcheeks are dancing with excitement grin

Tidey Tue 26-Jul-11 22:12:52

Agreed - Wood chip, in particular, is a real bastard of an invention. And wallpapering ceilings is bloody ridiculous. DD's room has both, and I'm sorry to say I have just painted over it and tried to ignore how crap it looks because it would be too time consuming and I would turn the air blue if I had to actually get it all off. I've had to do it in other rooms already. I swear, anyone who puts up woodchip wallpaper has no consideration for the poor git who has to live in that house next.

TheMagnificentBathykolpian Tue 26-Jul-11 22:13:34

Yes, it takes ages once but think of the time it saves over the years.

You can paint a room in 2 hours and a tin of paint is £20. Try papering a room for £20!

I think wallpaper dates really quickly. And tears. And bubbles.

And is currently giving poor ACT a breakdown, so for that reason alone, I vote it should be banned. grin

ApocalypseCheeseToastie Tue 26-Jul-11 22:14:01

Bloody artex tho, who came up with that idea ? The damn stuff's lethal !

Georgimama Tue 26-Jul-11 22:14:09

Did people used to artex because plasterers were all shit at their jobs back then?

Tidey Tue 26-Jul-11 22:17:48

Artex is shite. I've seen it on a kitchen ceiling in a house where they must eat an awful lot of fried food. Globs of solidified fat with dust stuck to it, hanging off pointy ceiling nodules is not a good look.

TheMagnificentBathykolpian Tue 26-Jul-11 22:18:06

My parents loved woodchip. They had it on practically every wall in the house [I'm a child of the 70s emoticon]. In the loo though, there were, either side of the loo, little holes in the paper.

cos I used to pick the woodchip out when using the loo grin

That's the other problem with woodchip - too tempting to pick pick pick!

Ah, the 70s. The decade that taste forgot. Migraine inducing carpets and woodchip wallpaper. In my parents case - painted diarrhoea brown. <shudder>

ApocalypseCheeseToastie Tue 26-Jul-11 22:18:27

It's their final pole in our eye Tidey, mwahhahahaha, you got zee house for cheap ?

Therefore I shall cover zee walls in clumps of wood !

And Themagnificent sums it up nicely, get some badass stencils or summat, put the paper down. And don't even get me started on those sadists who line the walls too angry

I actually feel sick looking at the drop from the balcony, bloody steamer won't reach up there either angry

WhollyGhost Tue 26-Jul-11 22:20:20

you can plaster over artex

you can't plaster over woodchip

scraping it off the walls and ceilings is the worst job I have ever done

lawnimp Tue 26-Jul-11 22:22:00

we have paper that you paint over - just hides shite walls, so it's ok

babybythesea Tue 26-Jul-11 22:22:33

Not just us stuck in decorating hell then! Have just scraped off layers of artex all down the hall, up the stairs and on the landing. Bloody nightmare. Wall underneath is so crap there's no way we can paint it so we are having to put up a thick lining paper which we can then paint. Can't afford to get a plasterer to do the amount that would need to be done and can't manage it ourselves. At least now the electricians been in we know the house won't blow up though - it seems our predecessor in the house was a DIY freak who didn't know what he was doing. Even managed to screw a light fitting in, using one of the screws to partially cut through the wire itself and burning through the screw. Not to mention the light switch which switched on nothing apart frm the exposed live wires in the loft - a nice gentle electric shock (at the top of the ladder which is at the top of the stairs) awaited anyone who touched the wire by accident. So the artex has slipped down a little to become a mild incovenience....!

ApocalypseCheeseToastie Tue 26-Jul-11 22:23:27

I have a bloody good plasterer, he's not cheap but he is bloody good.

I have been known to invite friends round to admire his work and stroke my walls blush

When i've finished killing him on the dining room, hall and stairs i'm going to start purring suggestions about my kitchen down his ear.

He is worth every single fox's chocolate biccy and the yorkshire tea I buy in specially <<cries with gratitude and continues to worship at the shrine of Dean>>

EuphemiaMcGonagall Tue 26-Jul-11 22:25:34

DH's last flat had artexed ceiling and walls in the kitchen. They were coated with years of grease and smoke, and having the surface area of the Moon, would have taken about ten years to clean. Brutal.

MrsChemist Tue 26-Jul-11 22:29:26

The only good thing that has ever come about from having artex is that when DS was tiny, I used to rock him to sleep and it could take a while. I found a few faces in the swirls and made up interesting back stories about them all to pass the time.

Wouldn't have been able to do that with plain walls.

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