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To be so pathetic and not want a stranger in my bedroom when I'm alone?

(23 Posts)
HarderToKidnap Tue 26-Jul-11 20:18:21

DH and I have sold a bulky heavy item on ebay. It's currently upstairs in our bedroom and DH arranged for the buyer to come round tonight and collect it. He won't be in, just me.

Woke up this morning expecting DH to have moved it downstairs, but it was still at the end of our bed. It is quite heavy and bulky. I am 5 months pg with terrible pelvic pain and wouldn't be able to manage to get it downstairs. Called DH who said "just get them to come upstairs and fetch it".

Normally this would be fine but my immediate thought was "NO! I don't want a stranger to come round and up to my bedroom when I am on my own". We live in a quiet street, in a terrace but both neighbours would have been out. Told DH this and he was gobsmacked, it so isn't like me to be afraid like that.

Anyway, he apologised, rearranged the collection and all is well now, but I am feeling very silly about my reaction. Was IBU?

Called DH who

Gastonladybird Tue 26-Jul-11 20:25:02

Yanbu - I wouldn't want a stranger in my bedroom pregnant or not. Also dh more sensitive than me re not being home
Alone with strangers (ESP after the nice man who threatened him as sold his car to someone else)

SnapesPlaything Tue 26-Jul-11 20:26:28

Hmm, yanbu Tto be worried. I have freecycled things before and once abunch of guys came to pick something up and I felt very uncomfortable. That was only in my living room. Not that I think they would have done anything but it would have been incredibly easy for them if they had wanted to was what made me a little worried ifswim?

AuntiePickleBottom Tue 26-Jul-11 20:30:41

Yanbu if it makes you feel uncomfortable then it does.

HellonHeels Tue 26-Jul-11 20:34:26

YADNBU! You simply have a good regard for your safety. You should not let strangers into your home when you're there alone and especially when you are physically vulnerable.

I would think that was an unsafe thing to do - for a man or a woman. Very pleased it has been re-arranged.

LaurieFairyCake Tue 26-Jul-11 20:38:35

Please don't call yourself pathetic - it's very unfair.

The fact is, it's your gut reaction and you're pregnant. It could be biology, the protection thing. Whatever the reason, your gut told you 'no'.

Listen to your gut, always.

LetThereBeRock Tue 26-Jul-11 20:39:25


CupcakesandTwunting Tue 26-Jul-11 20:39:28

YANBU but there will be lots of lovely ladies here soon to tell you that you are.

CBear6 Tue 26-Jul-11 20:52:01

YANBU at all, pregnant or not if you aren't comfortable with it then you aren't comfortable with it. I wouldn't be comfortable with it either if I was in your shoes. You don't know this person and while the odds of you coming to harm are low, why take the risk if you're not at ease doing so?

Is there anyone who could cone round and wait with you? A friend or relative maybe? Or could your DH contact the buyer and put them off until a day when he will be home too?

ICantFindAFreeNickName Tue 26-Jul-11 20:55:38

YANBU I would not be comfortable with letting a stranger into my house if I was on my own.

squeakytoy Tue 26-Jul-11 20:57:46

YANBU at all. I wouldnt do it.

I sell on ebay and do not offer collections unless I know my husband will be at home and even then I only do it for very large items of furniture, certainly not for items that are easy to post.

catgirl1976 Tue 26-Jul-11 21:08:02

YANBU - your DH should have carried the thing downstairs!

Onemorning Tue 26-Jul-11 21:09:23

YANBU or pathetic. Don't beat yourself up about it, you have to look after yourself.

StrandedBear Tue 26-Jul-11 21:11:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Shutupanddrive Tue 26-Jul-11 21:12:00

YANBU at all, were selling a car on eBay and someone wanted to come and see it when it would be just me. I told dp he has to be here when they come!

thevicky Tue 26-Jul-11 21:13:55

YANBU I'd feel exactly the same. Think of it as your 'mothering' instincts kicking in, you're just protecting yourself and your unborn child - your husband should be pleased!

JanMorrow Tue 26-Jul-11 21:16:55

YANBU, you don't know them from adam!

LadyOfTheManor Tue 26-Jul-11 21:23:08

YANBU but please wait for the long line of mutterings;

"Would have been intimidated had the collector have been a woman?"

skybluepearl Tue 26-Jul-11 21:52:37

i would have done the same. why put yourself at risk?

PrettyCandles Tue 26-Jul-11 21:56:19

YANBU at all. What's more, you should not be there on your own when the buyer comes to collect it. Dh or a friend should be with there too. Fundamental Internet safety.

Georgimama Tue 26-Jul-11 21:58:15

I don't understand why the item being in your bedroom puts you at greater risk than just being at home alone when a stranger calls to collect it. Fair enough you don't like the idea of a stranger calling when you are alone, pregnant and feeling a bit vulnerable, but someone is hardly going to be gripped with the sudden urge to violently attack you just because the item was upstairs.

RoyalWelsh Tue 26-Jul-11 22:00:48

YANBU, and what's more, I think it was quite brave of you to admit it as well. I think if I was in your situation I would have convinced myself that I was indeed being silly and just carried on feeling uncomfortable!

HarderToKidnap Tue 26-Jul-11 22:24:00

Oh good, looks like I'm not being U then! Georgi, I had envisioned that DH would leave the item in the hall and then I could literally open the door and they could take it (door opens almost onto pavement). I would have been fine with that. Them coming in to my house, having to shut front door and walk upstairs would have made me feel more unsafe, I suppose.

Anyway, it's gone now - lovely elderly couple turned up to collect! Don't think ever of them would have been able to lift it downstairs either, tbh...

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