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to be [shock] about my dad stealing from Tesco!

(73 Posts)
StrandedBear Tue 26-Jul-11 19:18:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ragwort Tue 26-Jul-11 19:23:27

I would be really shocked by that - are you sure it wasn't a genuine mistake? I remember leaving a pack of cheese in my trolley once and nearly walking off with it - but being honest I rushed back and paid for it.

I would be incredibly disappointed if someone close to me did that.

It puts you in a very awkward position - why don't you say something like 'we didn't pay for the teddy - I am going back to Tesco with £5 to sort it out'. It is irrelevant whether or not Tesco can 'afford' to lose £5 - you know it is morally wrong.

StrandedBear Tue 26-Jul-11 19:27:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ragwort Tue 26-Jul-11 19:33:23

Just seen your comment about tearing the tag off - that is shocking - would you be brave/assertive enough to ask him outright why he did it? I feel really sorry for you; it is horrible when someone you love and respect does something completely out of character sad.

charleneanne Tue 26-Jul-11 19:33:25

i am surprised the alarm never went off with the tag still being on the teddy

zelda1982 Tue 26-Jul-11 19:34:25

My nana has started doing things like this (though she isn't loaded like your dad) If we go to town he always ends up taking at least 1 thing from somewhere (nothing expensive, but all the same) I never know which shop she is going to do it in and i'm too busy with my dd's to notice at the time, its not until later that i notice. I've told her off for doing it loads of times.

For example the other day we went in poundworld (just opened so went for a nosy) i asked nan to watch the buggy for me while i squeezed down an aisle. Anyhow found nothing i liked so off out the shop i went pushing the buggy, my nan was dawdling behind. She catches up just outside the shop and we walk away and i notice my dd has this rubber pig thingy. I asked nan where she got it from and she just laughed :/ Thing is though I would of been done had we been caught as i was pushing the buggy!!

zelda1982 Tue 26-Jul-11 19:36:19

Also took my girls to build a bear yesterday and after went for a breakfast and she pulls out 2 of those hearts you put in the teddy. WHY??? Shes 79 fgs! lol

Abra1d Tue 26-Jul-11 19:36:35

A friend of mine did this, more than twenty years ago. He was a very well-paid ad exec at the time and he put a bag of Maltesers into his pocket. He saw me looking at him and said he'd forgotten about it. I don't think he had, though. I found it very puzzling.

activate Tue 26-Jul-11 19:38:02

you need to go and pay for it tomorrow

you also need to confront your father - just say "I'm really upset that you would steal and involve me and your granddaughter in it - it is not appropriate - please don't do it again"

revolutionscoop Tue 26-Jul-11 19:42:06

I worked in a chemist on Saturday mornings as a teenager, and there would often be very respectable looking little old ladies, shoplifting hair nets & the like. Your dad sounds much younger though; more of a Richard Madely figure, perhaps?

Birdsgottafly Tue 26-Jul-11 19:43:57

My mum started doing this a few years ago, no explaination for it.

My DP won't pay for ginger confused and steals it if we need it, i have had words many times because i cannot afford to be held on suspicion of theft, i have to keep away from him when we get near it in the supermarket.

BrawToken Tue 26-Jul-11 19:45:19

My (richest!) friend does things like this. On more than one occasion she has nicked things (or encouraged her 2yo to take things out a shop without paying - the most bizarre was a suitcase on wheels) shock. I am always shocked by it - we're broke but would never nick anything. It is weird, isn't it.

LetThereBeRock Tue 26-Jul-11 19:48:32

I'd be concerned about that,Zelda. It can be a sign of dementia,not that it definitely is,but it's not uncommon for people who have developed dementia to begin stealing and hoarding items.

Adversecamber Tue 26-Jul-11 19:51:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thruaglassdarkly Tue 26-Jul-11 19:51:50

What activate said. Poor you - how shocking! Go back and sort it out, then, if you feel you can, have a word with your dad. It's only a matter of time before he gets caught if he's doing this often, then he may have to kiss goodbye to his 50K/ a year job. Employers take a dim view of their employees shop-lifting I should imagine.

Good luck and let us know how you get on.

Thruaglassdarkly Tue 26-Jul-11 19:53:22

I'd talk to your DM if all else fails. She has a right to know.

Ragwort Tue 26-Jul-11 19:53:24

Braw - why would you remain friends with someone who regularly shop-lifted? confused

Fairenuff Tue 26-Jul-11 19:57:13

Tell your dad even if it was an accident, he should still do the right thing and pay for it, not least to set an example for your DD.

BrawToken Tue 26-Jul-11 20:18:26

Because I like her. She's my friend. I pull her up on it, too. She probably doesn't like things about me such as my propensity to drink too much wine and talk shite, but it hasn't come between us grin

iphonedrone Tue 26-Jul-11 20:22:36

I know tons of people who steal from tesco, rich and poor. And B&Q. They're the two shops most people steal from.

iphonedrone Tue 26-Jul-11 20:23:46

Why on earth does the DM have a 'right to know'. He is a grown man, presumably he understands if he gets caught hes in the shit. What do you want the DM to do, smack his bum?

iphonedrone Tue 26-Jul-11 20:24:17

Set an example, the DD is 2, as if she knows whats going on

OP, firstly, I honestly think you need to get some perspective here... you say you've always looked up to your father - and although I do actually get the thing about being shocked that he has stolen (speaking as a woman, who on unpacking and collapsing the buggy after a trip round a sea aquarium place thingie, realised her DS1 had stuffed about £20 worth of souvenirs under his sisters butt.... SHAME!) something, it doesn't need to mean that you re-evaluate your entire relationship with him - which is kind of how your post read to me.

Secondly - are you ABSOLUTELY sure you read his facial expression correctly? Maybe he thought you HAD paid for it? Is this a possiblity?

Can you chat with him about it in a non-confrontational manner? Is it easier to let it go... and monitor the situation? Maybe engineer going shopping with him again to see what happens - the early warning signs of dementia is a very interesting point raised by a PP.

Sorry you're so upset about this...

Thruaglassdarkly Wed 27-Jul-11 02:26:52

iphone - so loads of people you know regularly steal from big retailers? Oh right, so that's ok then? <rolls eyes>.

DM has a right to know her husband is a thief as she may be faced with the repercussions of his actions some day.

Do you know the difference between right and wrong btw ??? May I suggest you get some new friends who don't shoplift on a regular basis, because the rest of us have to pay higher prices at these stores so that they can have something for free. Maybe ditching these people will help you to reset your own moral compass and not take such a flippant attitude to petty theft.

ZillionChocolate Wed 27-Jul-11 08:25:24

It would fundamentally effect the way I thought of someone, I'd be devastated if my friends/family started shoplifting. if it were a genuine mistake, then he would have gone back in to pay for it, or checked the receipt at the very least. I wouldn't allow it to happen while you were there again, be very careful!

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