To think saying "What?" is rude?

[dollydoops]

Typical conversation between me and DP when she is watching tv or on computer:
me: DP?
DP: (silence)
me: DP?
DP: (silence)
me: DP?
DP: (annoyed tone) WHAT?
Me: why are you saying what? I don't like it when you say that Dp, can't you answer me nicely?
DP: you keep calling me! It's annoying!
Me: oh, never mind (by now feeling sad, angry and not wanting to say whatever it was any more)
is this normal? I find it very rude and disrespectful to say 'what'- is it just me?

[Birdsgottafly]

Why are you bothering her when she is watching TV or on the computer?

Go and find some DIY to do

My DP does the same and it drives me mad, just ask the bloody question.

[SenoritaViva]

I think it's the situation and tone rather than what he's saying. Yes, if he only uses what to be rude. That said, are you interrupting her when she's busy for something important? Sounds like she's annoyed, especially if you don't follow through with what you were going to say, which confirms to her that you didn't have anything important to say IYSWIM.

I use what when I can't here, in a nice tone. I don't think that's rude, it's what I was taught to say growing up.

[MinnieBar]

YABU. Posh people don't say 'pardon'. Don't you read Jilly Cooper?

[biddysmama]

ignoring you is pretty rude aswell

dh says "who?" when he hasnt heard what you said, that annoys me so now i reply with "no one"

goes like this

me- "what times dinner this week"
him "who?"
me "no one"

[SenoritaViva]

Minnie you can have back up from me, I am 'posh'. My parents would recoil if I said pardon which I regularly did as a teenager to wind them up - ah the humour of the well to do!

[schomberg]

YABslightlyU. It really gets under my skin when people say my name, pause to wait for a response, then ask a question. Just say what you want to say. It's not nice to snap but I can sympathise with your DP.

[eurochick]

I don't think it's that rude. And to be frank you do sound quite annoying....

[fanjobanjowanjo]

It is rude and ignorant.

[Sarsaparilllla]

Just ask the question instead, although saying that, I do that, then sit there waiting for an answer, and then have to say 'hello??????' to get any response sometimes before he decides to answer me

[dollydoops]

Thanks for the responses so far. Schomberg I have tried the other way you suggest and the conversation then goes like this:
me: DP, what time are we going out later?
DP: (silence)
me: DP, what time are we going out later?
DP: (silence)
me: DP?
DP: WHAT?

[fanjobanjowanjo]

I was taught that it's more polite to say pardon if you didn't hear what was said.

This sounds like dp is busy with something, and ignoring the op on purpose. It would be very easy for the dp just to say "hang on a sec until I've done this" instead of being ignorant and then shouting "what?" at the op. It doesn't take a sec to say you are busy.

[PedigreeChump]

YANBU.

I read on MN that the very upper end of society says "what?" and if you say anyting else you are common as muck. I can't get my head around it, "what?" is terribly rude to my ears.

And I ALWAYS say someone's name and then wait for a response. Always.

[Spuddybean]

If i don't hear something i say 'sorry?' what does that make me?

My DP purposely ignores me so he can deny hearing it. He knows once he has acknowledged me we have a verbal agreement!

Me 'dp will you take the bin out while i do dinner'
him '....'
Me 'please dp take the bin out'
him '...'
Me 'dp why are you ignoring me'
him 'I CAN HEAR YOU'
Me 'well answer then please...'

[ShowOfHands]

Well the capitals suggest shouting which is rude. But then interrupting somebody when they're busy is also rude.

Nothing wrong with 'what' btw. Only commoners say pardon.

Me? I say 'eh?'

[ShowOfHands]

What does that make you Spuddy? Unnecessarily apologetic and weak.

What? is fine.

[porpoisefull]

I don't think it's the 'What?' that's the problem, it's deliberately ignoring you, which IMO is very rude. Some time when she's not engrossed in something else, ask her why she does that and tell her how it makes you feel - that will probably be more constructive than a lot of strangers trying to analyse your interactions!

[Spuddybean]

oh dear, haha.

i don't say it like i'm actually sorry tho, more like a question 'sorry, i missed that?' 'sorry lovely, what did you just say?'

[dollydoops]

Hmmmm. It isn't the sort of what? With a rising tone that you would use if you didn't hear. It's more like WHAT! in an annoyed loud tone which gets my back up and makes me feel as though DP doesn't want me to be there or talk to her at all.

[fanjobanjowanjo]

Nothing wrong with 'what' btw. Only commoners say pardon.

Pardon?

[Nancy66]

I say 'what' - 'pardon' makes my skin crawl.....deliberately ignoring you is fucking twatish though. Throwing things at him might get his attention.

[DoMeDon]

I imagine she doesn't want to talk to you when engrossed in TV/net. Think it depends why you want to talk to her at those times?

DH often starts talking as soon as i try to do something (TV/text/MN) - infuriates me. It is like an attention seeking child.

[HowlingBitch]

Ohh "Supddy" I have one of those

[HowlingBitch]

Spuddy * Doh

[limitedperiodonly]

DH asks permission to ask questions. Drives me mad but his mother taught him it was polite. She says pardon, too.

[CupcakesandTwunting]

YOU WHAAAAAA? Is what we say around here. It is very posh and gentrified, especially if said with an open-mouth full of chewed dinner tea.

Pardon is icky and aspirant. Don't like it.