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Bad vibes, man.

(25 Posts)
Reality Mon 25-Jul-11 09:11:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnansiGirl Mon 25-Jul-11 09:15:28

Why do you talk to her?
Find someone nicer.

squeakytoy Mon 25-Jul-11 09:16:40

grin I do sympathise... my mum was exactly the same, and it was very very draining...

BertieBotts Mon 25-Jul-11 09:18:29

You don't have to justify yourself on the thread grin

My grandad is like this. I think some people just are. They are miserable so they have to drag everyone else down to their level.

Reality Mon 25-Jul-11 09:19:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Reality Mon 25-Jul-11 09:20:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThePathanKhansWoman Mon 25-Jul-11 16:40:54

Reality i think we may be sisters.shock

My mother is exactly the same. I actually feel physically tired after time in

her presence. I always try to organise a cheapo holiday, in the sun, Greece

usually, and invite her with us (as our treat, she just has to pack a case).

Every year about a month before we go she starts " I'm not up to going on a

holiday, its too much for me, you lot go on your own". Cue hours of cajoling

from me, until my nerves are splintered.

This year i've decided not to bother and she announces last week "I have an

awful longing to see the sea" angry

I've just realised she is very passive aggresive, its horrible being around a

negative person.

AgentZigzag Mon 25-Jul-11 16:47:54

Why does it matter so much to you what your mum thinks of your choices?

I don't mean that in a sarky/shitty way, but if she thinks her opinion is the be all and end all and everyone is hanging on her every word before they do anything I'm surprised you've not told her how arrogant she is and to keep it to herself.

ThePathanKhansWoman Mon 25-Jul-11 16:54:31

Just to butt in, i know i for one revert to childhood status in my mum's company awful i know Agent, but i,ve talked to mates who say they revert to their infant/teen self in company of difficult parent/sibling.

My mum for one acts as if im the Anti-Christ if tackled about her negative behaviour. Its hard, can't live with em, can't kill em grin.

PortBlacksandIsleOfDogs Mon 25-Jul-11 17:02:05

I call people like this Mood Hoovers grin

AgentZigzag Mon 25-Jul-11 17:13:39

I know exactly what you're saying panthan grin

But if you reciprocate your mums treatment (of you as a small child) by reverting to role she'll see no reason to change. Why would she because you're playing along.

Same with OP putting effort into rebutting every point, it backs up the mums idea that her views are Very Important and should be considered.

grin at mood hoovers.

Vulgar Mon 25-Jul-11 18:07:25

love Mood hoovers

we call them "merchants of doom' (to be said in spooky olde englishe type way)

EuphemiaMcGonagall Mon 25-Jul-11 18:20:14

Expecto Patronum!

grin

Reality Mon 25-Jul-11 18:23:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThePathanKhansWoman Mon 25-Jul-11 19:07:55

Agent i know, your right, i think i'm what is known in The Mood Hovering trade as an enabler[shame].

gringrin at Mood Hoovers, i love it.

fizzyelderflower Mon 25-Jul-11 19:51:03

mood hovering is now my phrase of choice for the MIL I posted about today as well.

<<waves at Reality>>

PortBlacksandIsleOfDogs Mon 25-Jul-11 20:05:10

hoovering

PortBlacksandIsleOfDogs Mon 25-Jul-11 20:05:51

mood hovering is pretty funny too grin

MynameisnotEarl Mon 25-Jul-11 20:09:11

Right. I'm taking over as your surrogate mum, Reality. <Shoves real mother out of the way>

You have done everything right.

I bought a captain's bed for DD2 when she was 12 as her bedroom was very small. It was fab and she's thinking of buying another one now she's 29!!

Flatpack furniture is great, you can control the quality of the build by how careful you are. Unlike the Next ready built rubbish I've taken delivery of lately.

Painting a room is very quick but you always have to wait for carpets and furniture, so you've organised those in the right order.

Take it easy and enjoy making your home look lovely.

ThePathanKhansWoman Mon 25-Jul-11 20:09:37

grin Mother would have something to say about my spelling Port, probably

"No wonder you can't spell Hoover you never get yours out" grin.

Bloody hell i can hear her now.

fizzyelderflower Mon 25-Jul-11 20:16:24

Port - whoops! blush

mybrainsthinkingfuckyou Mon 25-Jul-11 20:24:22

well i think you are brilliant and it is the best time to do it whilst you still can and a lovely gift for your son pre new sibling. Well done you!XXX

Reality Mon 25-Jul-11 20:29:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

razors Mon 25-Jul-11 22:59:44

Next time just say 'Gotta go - someone at the door' and hang up.....

MCos Mon 25-Jul-11 23:29:07

Well done you, and just tune out your mother.
Easier said than done, but it is a skill that will stand to you forever!

Perhaps 'Mom, it will all work out fine.' and change the subject immediately...

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