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My five year old was abandoned at an organised party

(369 Posts)
KattyB Sun 24-Jul-11 22:02:18

My husband took our five year old boy to a birthday party for two of his school friends in the local sports hall yesterday and when he came back to collect him, (five minutes late) all of his friends and their parents had left. There was another party going on afterwards, but my child was, well, abandoned. Not only that, but he actually managed to get outside the hall and was ‘waiting for daddy’ in the car park.

To say that I am angry is a little bit of an understatement and what could have happened doesn’t bear thinking about.

Don’t know the mums at all well and don’t have their phone numbers …. Should I 'throw the book' at the venue???? What would you do?

greenplastictrees Sun 24-Jul-11 22:04:12

That's awful. So the parent who organised it just left him? Could you ask the venue what happened? I dnt think it's the it fault as they aren't responsible for taking care of the children presumably.

iwanttoseethezoo Sun 24-Jul-11 22:04:30

I would say something to the mums next time I saw them. They were responsible for him once he was dropped off, until he was picked up. I cannot imagine leaving a five-year-old on his own!

greenplastictrees Sun 24-Jul-11 22:04:40

As in the venues fault...definitely the parents!

GypsyMoth Sun 24-Jul-11 22:04:47

start with the venue...they will have her number. demand they contact her and get her to call you!!

CaptainKirksNipples Sun 24-Jul-11 22:04:55

Only 5 minutes late?

fivegomadindorset Sun 24-Jul-11 22:05:07

Have a go at the parents not at the venue.

onepieceofcremeegg Sun 24-Jul-11 22:05:15

Just to clarify, did you hand him over to the host parents/another parent or otherwise let someone know that you were leaving him? I only ask because it is fairly commonplace (ime) that if a party is at a sports hall/soft play type venue one of the parents usually stays with the child.

Sounds like some awful misunderstanding.

If the hosting parents were aware then your issue is with them rather than the venue. (unless someone from the venue deliberate put your child outside rather than trying to sort it out?)

worraliberty Sun 24-Jul-11 22:05:29

How could the child's parents have packed up and left if your DH was only five minutes late? confused

pigletmania Sun 24-Jul-11 22:06:19

That is shock, do you have the party parents number? They usually put it on the invite! That is unacceptable, and would be having words with the parents if I see them at school or about. What if anything happened to him? It would be their responsibility until he is handed over to you. I would never do that, I would always wait until ALL children had been collected safely by parents/carers, how irresponsible.

thisisyesterday Sun 24-Jul-11 22:07:07

that's awful!!!

i would contact the venue AND the parents.

the venue should not have allowed him outside by himself... there should surely be something stopping that from happening? and if not why not?
unless of course the mum organising the party took him out and left him out there, but WHY would you do that?

i would be just, utterly furious

AgentZigzag Sun 24-Jul-11 22:07:08

Your poor DS.

If the venue weren't responsible (which I wouldn't have thought they would be either) they will have a contact number for the parents.

If they can't give it out, they might pass a message along for you asking them to call you?

onepieceofcremeegg Sun 24-Jul-11 22:07:12

Also just to add that if I didn't know any of the parents well enough to even have a contact number, I would not have left my child alone there. (I'm not saying that what happened was right, it's just unusual to not have any contact numbers at all)

Did they have your contact number? even for a party at a house it is usual/sensible to leave your number in case of emergency.

DouglasPouch Sun 24-Jul-11 22:07:17

Oh I have a 5 year old I feel cold just thinking about it. sad

pigletmania Sun 24-Jul-11 22:07:29

Even if you were half an hour late, I would still wait with the child there until the parent comes or contacts me.

maypole1 Sun 24-Jul-11 22:09:48

To be honest its the parents of the party how could they leave with out a adult to pick him up shock

I had this issue and have never left my son at a party since I told the mum he was not allowed chocolate thats all left my number in case there was a issue when I came to pick him up he was in the coner crying they said they hadn't let him have anything to eat as they could remember what I had said he was at the party for 4 hours stright from school he was starving also they said he had been naughty, he had tried to grab a saguge roll of the table so they sat him in the empty hall on his own he was 6 he's 11 now but even now I feel a bit worried about leaving him at parties

The parents are to blame and not the hall I just can not believe the mum would leave a five year old how awful

CaptainKirksNipples Sun 24-Jul-11 22:10:11

Ime it takes about half an hour to get rid of all party goers completely especially in this type of place, they would have been clearing up to do as well. I would go mental at dp what would parents at the party done if an emergency had happened and they needed to contact YOU? At 5 years old I was leaving ds but only with people I knew very well. You and dp at fault here imo...

ZhenXiang Sun 24-Jul-11 22:10:35

The problem is not the venue, it is the parents who organised the party. Most venues will provide a host, but they still require several supervising adults to remain in attendance.

I would be furious with the parents and would tell them so in no uncertain terms, how would they feel if it were their child?!

I would also phone the venue to enquire whether they knew anything about him being left and what their conditions are for a party re: supervising adults. Although to be honest I would have done this in person when I found him in the car park on that day.

You were quite irresponsible though to not have at least the telephone numbers of the parents in charge of the party, particularly as your DH did not intend to stay with your DS.

skybluepearl Sun 24-Jul-11 22:10:38

you need to say something to the parents and venue. say you were quite shocked that son was left on his own outside the venue. you also need to make sure you exchange mobile numbers before or at the start of a party.

DogsBestFriend Sun 24-Jul-11 22:11:22

I'd be spitting feathers and I'd definitely be having words with the parents in charge - and god bloody help them unless there was a very clear and genuine misunderstanding.

I suppose they could have mistaken another parent for your son's or thought he was leaving with someone else... but even so, FFS, you check! He's FIVE for goodness sake, poor soul, not 15!

How you've kept your cool and aren't out for blood I do not know.

worraliberty Sun 24-Jul-11 22:13:36

I agree with CaptainKirk (based on the info so far)

The parents would have had to given out party bags, seen all the other kids off, waited while their parents dutifully brought their kids to them to say thank you. Packed up the prezzies and tidied up the party room.

Are you sure he was only 5 minutes late?

onepieceofcremeegg Sun 24-Jul-11 22:13:44

You need to clarify this with your dp I think. Who did he speak to when he dropped your child off? Did he even know the first name of one of the parents? Was at least one of the supervising adults aware that your child was being left alone?
Did he ensure he had contact number(s) and had left his in case of emergency? If not, why not?
If he did then courtesy would have meant he would have rung one of the hosts when he was running late.

As others have pointed out if he was literally 5 minutes late then highly unlikely that everyone had left. I have never known this to happen. even at venues where you are thrown out bang on time there is always 10-15 minutes of sorting out party bags, shoes etc.

Portofino Sun 24-Jul-11 22:14:00

Agree it is awful. I had a parent stuck in traffic after my 7 yo dd's party but we waited and tried to call. No way would I have lwft the child outside to wait on their own. Selfish bastards!

pigletmania Sun 24-Jul-11 22:14:10

Its not entirely the op fault. The party parents should have requested contact numbers of all parents leaving their children, thats what I would have done. Yes the op should have left a contact number with the party parents, no excuse to leave a very young child on his own. Surely they would be the last to leave after packing up and would have noticed the op son on his own.

hocuspontas Sun 24-Jul-11 22:14:45

I'm not saying that it is acceptable but if the organisers were in a rush and didn't have your number they may have not known what to do. Are you sure it was 5 mins and not 20? Did you get the end times right? But he shouldn't have been left alone whatever. Maybe each organising mum thought the other was looking after him? It's nothing to do with the venue, they don't take individual names and numbers etc.

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