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to think all women really do want rescued by men?

(80 Posts)
adhocmusings Fri 22-Jul-11 10:04:16

I have a friend who is a high-flying business executive, she is uber successful but turns into a quivering pathetic wimp when there’s a prospect of her going out on a date. She is mid 30s and probably feels the pressure but she is taking on such brutes just to have a man and I want to kick her teeth in when she behaves like this. Why can’t successful single women apply their sharp intelligence to their love lives? I know several businesswomen like this. Can anyone empathise?

lubeybooby Fri 22-Jul-11 10:05:18

Taking on brutes to have a man? Eh?

UsingMainlySpoons Fri 22-Jul-11 10:06:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

elastamum Fri 22-Jul-11 10:06:42

Not really. All women do not want to be rescued by men. I am a single parent of boys and certainly dont required rescuing by anyonet grin

adhocmusings Fri 22-Jul-11 10:07:52

I mean she would go on a date with anyone and give it everything just to say she had a boyfriend. I hate it. She is doing herself an injustice.

PeopleCallMeTricky Fri 22-Jul-11 10:09:57

She probably just wants to be rescued from you trying to "kick her in the teeth"

AMumInScotland Fri 22-Jul-11 10:13:02

I don't think you can translate "several women I know" into "all women". Personally I have never put up with a brute just to have a man, any man. As I am a woman I can therefore quite easily conclude that you are wrong.

Nowhere near "all women" feel that way.

Some do, and most of us pity them.

reikizen Fri 22-Jul-11 10:15:23

wow, with friends like you eh?

Empusa Fri 22-Jul-11 10:17:26

YABU. Some doesn't equal all.

BluddyMoFo Fri 22-Jul-11 10:17:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Morloth Fri 22-Jul-11 10:18:40

So because your friend has crap taste in men and a good job this means that all women want to be rescued by a man?

Fuck that, I will do my own rescuing thank you very much.

catgirl1976 Fri 22-Jul-11 10:19:28

God she is probably lonely and panicking a bit about not meeting mr right in time to start a family. She doesn't need you putting her down. Maybe try boosting her confidence instead and pointing out what a catch she is (you say yourself she is uber sucessful).

And no - that isn't "all women". It is your friend, so help her out hmm

AlpinePony Fri 22-Jul-11 10:42:47

I think most feel they are independent until they procreate. At which point my observations lead me to believe they just want a man to pay the bills.

catgirl1976 Fri 22-Jul-11 10:44:51

Bit of a generalisation Alpine

AMumInScotland Fri 22-Jul-11 10:50:12

You could equally say that men are happy to be independent until they want to procreate, but then have to find a woman and make compromises on their own lifestyle to make it all work.

Anniegetyourgun Fri 22-Jul-11 10:53:07

As this is AIBU, I hope I may be forgiven for saying "bog off" angry

When I procreated I paid the bills too. In fact it was XH who wanted rescuing by a woman. And like a fool, I was ready to be that rescuer. (Him and lost puppies and baby pigeons that had fallen out of their nests.)

No more lame ducks in my life, thanks. It might be nice to have a partner to share the burdens with, but some poncy dick on a white horse? Not practical.

adhocmusings Fri 22-Jul-11 10:55:29

My friend doesn't need a man to pay any bills, she has more money than anyone I know. I think that she believes she needs a man to feel complete when she doesn't. She is a great person and I tell he this all the time. My fear is she will settle for the wrong person just to be attached.

HairyGrotter Fri 22-Jul-11 10:58:03


I am a lone parent, have been since conception. I pay the bills, raise my child, and study full time. I have not much time for anything else and certainly don't need rescuing as I am not in danger of anything...

Maybe she has low self esteem

TrillianAstra Fri 22-Jul-11 10:58:18


There is no sentence beginning with

"AIBU to think all women really do want..."

that could possibly be reasonable.

NoMoreWasabi Fri 22-Jul-11 11:00:19

Maybe she wants a family - if she does then given her age I wouldn't blame her for wanting to find Mr Right or Mr Good Enough as soon as she can in order to facilitate this.

Anniegetyourgun Fri 22-Jul-11 11:00:51

Hmm, why do you call it "rescuing" then? Rescuing from what? Singledom, I suppose. A man to rescue her from the state of, er, not-having-a-man-ness. You might just as well say that someone bought a budgie to rescue them from being alone.

adamschic Fri 22-Jul-11 11:07:37

Well I have raised a child as a single woman, worked to do this too. I can pay all my own bills and everything. I go on lots of dates because I still harbour a desire to fall in love and be in a relationship. I have fallen once or twice for the wrong guys along the way but mostly am happy to leave alot of guys to one date as they are not often my type.

If your friend is really wanting to grab any guy then YANBU but if that's your view of it and she is actually falling for one or two wrong uns then that's different and she should carry on as she wishes. Just because a woman doesn't need a man to help raise children, provide and home etc doesn't mean she doesn't want one and has every right to persue it.

Kewcumber Fri 22-Jul-11 11:12:26

Does it have to be a man? Wouldn't mind being "rescued" by anyone e with a spare million from a life of poverty.
Bit confused about why having crap choice in men is being "rescued" though confused

adhocmusings Fri 22-Jul-11 11:25:42

It’s more about her needing a man to feel complete, how even some very intelligent and successful women don’t feel accomplished until they have a man. Can nobody relate to this? Her settling for lesser men was secondary.

MrsKravitz Fri 22-Jul-11 11:25:45

How strange. I have procreated yet manage to pay my own bills.

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