My father is seriously ill. I have two siblings; my mother died several year ago. We are a very close family and apart from occasional disagreements we tend to get on very well. The news of dad?s recent illness has been devastating. He is the nucleus of our family and it is hard to imagine him no longer being here. He has a short prognosis, we are all coming to terms with this and doing our best to help. He lives at home and would like to stay at home as long as possible.
My siblings live near my dad, but i live in another country. They are great and visit at least once every day. They have always done this in recent years. I have always travelled home very frequently ? about once every 6 weeks for a weekend and then longer at holidays. These days, i visit a lot more, and stay for a week at a time. We all have children and work.
My sister is particularly helpful. She spends a lot of time with dad. She also works in the medical professional so has been able to advice him medically which he feels has helped him enormously. She is also very practical and thinks of everything (e.g. makes dinners, buys clothes, visits with grandchildren etc), which i am not in a position to do as i live abroad; though i would love to be more involved. My other sibling visits a lot but is not very practical in the same way.
The problem is that my dad has decided to change his will. He has always said that everything would be shared equally and in the past things always have; and he has said that there are no favourites in the family. But now, when it comes to it, he seems to feel slightly differently. Basically, he now wants to leave a larger proportion to my sister than me or my other sibling. I understand this is some ways ? i think he is very grateful for all her help recently, and he wants to show her this. However, I am becoming very jealous and resentful ? traits i would never ever have recognised in myself before ? i am upset that she is the favoured one. I always thought that my dad and i were extremely close ? and feel resentful that she now seems to be the person most important to him. I tried to broach it with him ? and he has stated that there are no favourites.. he thinks my other sibling and i should not ?begrudge? my sister after all she has done. I appreciate all she has done, but would have done exactly the same if i were here ? but i?m not.
This is now praying on my mind at a time when i need to focus on my dad and my siblings. I know i will lose my dad soon, which is heartbreaking; i am also very upset that i will also lose my sister as i am feeling this resentment. Maybe i feel like this because emotions are so high at the moment. I don?t want to discuss it with dad ? he has finalised things recently and feels relieved ? he knows exactly what he wants to do and i will not interfere. I just need reassurance that he loves us all equally and feels that we are all doing as much as we can for him.
Any advice that would help me focus on important things like my family and relationships would be helpful. Do tell me i am being unreasonable.
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resentment over will
54 replies
TaytoCrisp · 21/07/2011 08:55
OP posts:
Maryz ·
21/07/2011 09:09
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Message withdrawn at poster's request.
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