not to go out if my baby is hysterical

[alwaysblue]

am supposed to be going to dinner on firday night with dp and some relatives of his who are visiting from sweden (who i have met once before) but for the last few days 16 mo DS has been hysterical going to bed and has woken up hysterical an hour after falling asleep and its been nearly impossible to settle him. i dont want to go out on friday if he is the same tonight and tomorrow night. (since i presume he would then be the same on fri if i was out) we cant go out with them another night as we are going on hols on sat.

AIBu not to go if he is no better the rest of this week?

[thesurgeonsmate]

Who's babysitting?

[DoMeDon]

I would go - if he is hysterical anyways, what's the diff?

[alwaysblue]

grandparents

[mumblechum1]

I'd go out. Sounds like you need a break.

[biddysmama]

i wouldnt go but i wouldnt be able to enjoy myself for thinking that my baby was crying for me (my dd is 28 months+ds is 10 months and ive not left either of them for more than an hour a couple of times when they went to the park with daddy)

[SquishyCinnamonSwirls]

As it's grandparents, I'd say go and have fun. They managed to raise you/your oh ok so they'll be fine with their grandchild.

[lubeybooby]

Go out, bet the gp's do something different that settles baby just fine maybe even getting back into a non hysterical routine for you. Happened to me with my dd when she was a baby and I let my mum have a go at settling her for a couple of nights. And if not then at least you've had a break.

[Sirzy]

I would go. If you work on the "well he might" presumption you would never leave him. I assume you trust the grandparents who are looking after him so I am sure they will manage to settle him.

[alwaysblue]

DoMe - i s'pose im concerned cos i know its me he'll be looking for when he wakes up. also concerned that gps would bring him downstairs to tv and i dont want them to.

[revolutionscoop]

Just be grateful you don't have to do school run x4 a day with said hysterical baby. Just saying.

[Sossiges]

It wouldn't be fair on your gp's though, if he's going to be hysterical and you're not there. He might settle with them , but then he might not and then you could get a phone call in the middle of dinner. Can you get some takeaway or similar and eat in?

[Danthe4th]

Just warn them what might happen and leave them to get on with it, he'll be fine and it may break the cycle of waking for you.

[mumblechum1]

God, definitely go out. Life doesn't stop because you have kids imo.

[lubeybooby]

Seriously just go and enjoy yourself and stop worrying. It will be fine!

[EvelynBakerLang]

Looking on the bright side, if they bring him down for TV they will (a) stop him crying and (b) won't be messing up any great sleep routine because it's already gone wrong (see hysterics!)

[alwaysblue]

sossiges - ha, i never thought about them!
its very unusual for him to be like this and i just keep thinking of his little face looking like its the end of the world and would hate for him to be like that and me out having dinner :(

[alwaysblue]

evelyn -true! the routine has gone already, and as we are going on hols the next day, its not likely to improve then!

[thesurgeonsmate]

I'd go, but I have PIL who would take hysteria in their stride. Although I wouldn't expect them to try and settle dd if they couldn't, and would be happy for them to resort to TV if that made them comfortable. As DH would say, at least it's them dealing with the wailing and not us. Think that goes a bit far, but there's some truth in there somewhere I think!

[Salmotrutta]

Why don't you phone the Grandparents, explain the not settling/waking and ask them if they are still OK with that.
I bet they say yes *(secretly thinking they can sort it out ) and just go out and enjoy yourself. As has been said his routine is disrupted anyway and supposing they let him down to play it's not going to make any odds.

• This is jokey by the way!! - but I did have a secret smug moment once when my grandson slept through for me when he didn't for Mum and Dad

[alwaysblue]

salmotrutta - yes, i think they would be extremely smug if that happened. i think grandad already thinks he is DS's no 1!
i guess im just a little bit uptight about the whole bringing him down to play thing as im quite agianst it. but i suppose its not fair to expect them to put up with him screaming for hours.

[Catilla]

As my mum always says "Granny's prerogative"! Just because GPs do something like bring him down to play, doesn't mean you have to do the same. In fact it's better someone else does it than you. He's old enough not to come to any harm... and just at the age where he is unknowingly experimenting with boundaries, and the change / lack of mummy may, as others have suggested, break the cycle of waking.
Go out, you'll probably have a great time and come back to any further hysteria much refreshed!

[exoticfruits]

I would go-I expect grandparents have been there ,done it and got the Tshirt. If you are not there they will cope. (Keep calm though, the baby will get the vibes if you get all anxious).

[alwaysblue]

catilla - my worry is that if he is brought downstairs to play/tv , then that is what he will come to expect. regardless of who does it. but i supopse once wont be any harm?

i think im super paranoid about this because i know any sleep problems are going to be my problem at the end of the day as im the one who deals with it night after night

[Salmotrutta]

One night of coming down to the TV/playing won't do any harm. He's already disrupted and will be too when you go off on hols.
And I'm not really smug - honest!! .