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to think somebody should speak to me whether or not their wife is there?

(42 Posts)
BadTasteFlump Wed 20-Jul-11 12:02:32

Whenever I see this dad on the school run we say hi (as I do to lots of people). Sometimes we have a quick chat. We both help with school trips sometimes and recently walked round together during one of them - we were the only 'helpers' there who weren't teachers. We have a bit of banter because our children (and us) support opposing football teams and always have a laugh about it. I also say hi to his wife, although I don't know her very well as she doesn't usually do the school run.

Anyway, last week there was a class assembly. I went and so did this mans' wife. We ended up sitting next to each other and having a quick chat. Then a strange thing happened. She had been saying her H was going to try to get to the assembly from work. He then turned up at the end, looked over, blushed like mad (it was a very clear blush), then walked out again. She said 'what's up with him?!' and went after him. I walked past them again on the way out and she smiled and said 'see you later', but he just looked down at his feet.

The next few days he was at the school on his own and was normal again, chatting etc. But then this morning there was a school meeting again about new classes. They were both there, and suddenly he's blanking me again. She was fine.

So why would somebody think they can only speak to you if their wife's not there? He's never been flirty with me nor I him. And she doesn't seem like the type of woman who wouldn't let her H talk to anyway - she seems really nice actually.

So AIBU?

Thingsfallapart Wed 20-Jul-11 12:05:07

He fancies you and thinks his wife would spot it.

baboos Wed 20-Jul-11 12:06:08

He fancies you.............

zelda1982 Wed 20-Jul-11 12:06:17

Maybe he'd had a sex dream about you and feeling embarrassed wink

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 20-Jul-11 12:06:43

Wake up and smell the Java! He fancies you and therefore he feels guilty when his wife's around if he talks to you. His football 'banter' is his version of flirting, I guarantee. It's his problem not yours, of course. smile

BadTasteFlump Wed 20-Jul-11 12:06:44

But he's never acted like he does, honestly. I'm sure I'd pick up on it. He's very friendly but he is with lots of people.

mrsscoob Wed 20-Jul-11 12:08:13

He soooo fancies you grin

BadTasteFlump Wed 20-Jul-11 12:08:16

Well if he does cogito then you're right, it is his problem, cos I'm a good girl grin. Seriously, I'm not looking for that kind of hassle and am (happily) married.

Are men really that thick? (Silly question I know!)

Scholes34 Wed 20-Jul-11 12:08:40

OOh, lovely, to have someone fancy you! As my very Catholic auntie says "just because you're on a diet it doesn't mean you can't look at the menu."

Thingsfallapart Wed 20-Jul-11 12:08:55

Some people are better at hiding it than others, I was friends with my DP for 5 years before we got together and would of sworn he didn't fancy me, turns out I was wrong.

baboos Wed 20-Jul-11 12:11:14

The only other reason would be that his wife has a problem with him talking to other women, it doesn't appear to be the case from from you wrote.

baboos Wed 20-Jul-11 12:13:21

Sorry, wrote the word from twice when should have written. from what....

BadTasteFlump Wed 20-Jul-11 12:14:20

Hmm kind of lovely in a flattering way, but also awkward if it's true.

So what do I do, just keep talking to him and her as I always would, whoever is or isn't there and let him look like a twat, or keep my distance a bit?

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 20-Jul-11 12:15:28

You don't have to have any hassle. Just enjoy the warm glow that comes from being the object of someone else's torch-holding.... wink It's knowing about football that does it. Being familiar with the off-side trap is considered foreplay by some blokes.

MrSpoc Wed 20-Jul-11 12:16:00

I think he either fancies you are his wife gives him hassle if he speaks to other women.

I had a ex like that. very nice infront of people but as soon as the doors was closed " what do you think you were doing chatting to her, you fancy her, do you think she is better looking then me etc)

BadTasteFlump Wed 20-Jul-11 12:17:03

BTW discussed this with DH this morning - he said 'he fancies you'. I said 'well thanks but you're biased, and you're overlooking my eyebags with your rose tinted H specs'...

I was thinking the wise women of MN may come up with another theory.

BadTasteFlump Wed 20-Jul-11 12:18:26

Trust me, I am no offside expert grin. I try to keep up or wouldn't be able to coax my DSs into any more conversation than just grunts....

BadTasteFlump Wed 20-Jul-11 12:19:04

I like the 'warm glow' idea - does that make me a trollop?

ShoutyHamster Wed 20-Jul-11 12:20:46

He knows his wife fancies you and can't bear to witness the embarrassment of her cack-handed attempts to seduce you. And he doesn't really want a threesome anyway.

BadTasteFlump Wed 20-Jul-11 12:22:13

grin at ShoutyHamster

I love love love your name btw!

Beamur Wed 20-Jul-11 12:23:03

I wouldn't worry about it too much, he obviously gets on well with you, maybe fancies you, maybe not, but is sensitive to not want his wife to see that. I'm inclined to think he is perfectly happily married, enjoys your company but doesn't want his wife to have any discomfort over it.
I have work friends that I have a very friendly/bit flirty relationship with, but I'm sure if their wives were around they would be a bit cooler - as I would if my DP was there, but that's not to say there is anything remotely untoward going on.
I think by being friendly to his wife too you are doing the absolutely right thing.

BadTasteFlump Wed 20-Jul-11 12:27:01

Thanks Beamur. I will add the other bit now - which may skew my results but there you go.

During conversation with DH I also said 'anyway, I've never even been flirty with him'. And DH said 'bollocks, you flirt with everyone, I don't mind, but you do -even with the postie!' (who is about 70)

shock

DH was messing about, I think.

FreudianSlipper Wed 20-Jul-11 12:27:15

maybe you are part of their sexual fantasy games and his fantasy is not the same as his wife's as hers are really filthy and he is embarrassed by this grin

Beamur Wed 20-Jul-11 12:31:02

Ha ha! My DP also says I flirt with everyone too. But then so does he.
Which is fine, until you come across someone who doesn't get flirting..

JeremyVile Wed 20-Jul-11 12:32:45

Was going to agree that he fancies you but reading the last post, possibly he thinks you flirt with him which is fine but wants to avoid being flirted with in front of his wife?

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