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Am I over reacting or is my annoyance/anger justified?

(68 Posts)
TheLadyEvenstar Wed 20-Jul-11 11:30:15

I had to call British Gas this morning to discuss my bill. I was talking to a pompous fuckwit man who was asking for details about my household, income etc. I mentioned I recieve DLA for my son, Carers allowance and didn't get any further as he then replied "Oh ok so your child has learning difficulties then" - I had not mentioned what DS's disability was.

I asked him what qualified him to make such an assumption to which he replied "Oh well I just thought".

I Have to admit I stopped him there and asked him if he had learning difficulties as he seemed unable to understand there were other disabilities. His reply was "You are insulting me by saying that". I was then transferred to someone else.

AIBU to consider putting in a complaint against him? or am I over reacting.

knittedbreast Wed 20-Jul-11 11:33:40

He was probebly just trying to be nice. People who dont have involvement with those with disabilities dont always know what you do, and he sounds like he was trying to be nice and understanding-would it be better had he said oh so your child is in a wheel chair?

GypsyMoth Wed 20-Jul-11 11:34:59

Why do British gas need to know any of this?

WhoseGotMyEyebrows Wed 20-Jul-11 11:36:25

I don't understand why you are upset at all.

SpringchickenGoldBrass Wed 20-Jul-11 11:37:22

Hmm. It is of course possible that the man either has DC with learning difficulties of his own, or knows someone else who does, and was trying to make conversation in the way that some people do when they spot common ground. I can also see how your response could have sounded to him as though you thought learning difficulties is something shameful or bad.
ANd you would be overreacting to put in a complaint.

rainbowinthesky Wed 20-Jul-11 11:37:30


prettyfly1 Wed 20-Jul-11 11:37:42

umm - I think it was just a throwaway comment and a minor assumption - certainly not something to get so upset about so yabu imo.

GypsyMoth Wed 20-Jul-11 11:38:54

I think yabu actually.

nethunsreject Wed 20-Jul-11 11:39:00


handsomeharry Wed 20-Jul-11 11:39:07


WhoseGotMyEyebrows Wed 20-Jul-11 11:40:37

What exactly about it was it that upset you. Still don't get it. You told him you get DLA (whatever that is) for you son and also you get carers allowance. He assumed your son had LD and you were his carer. What's so weird about that?

dreamingbohemian Wed 20-Jul-11 11:41:26

He sounds clueless, but your asking him if he had learning difficulties himself was rude as well.

YANBU to be upset, it must be frustrating dealing with ignorant people all the time, but I think you should let it go and not complain.

AlpinePony Wed 20-Jul-11 11:41:52


Given the information you gave him, what on earth other conclusion was he supposed to draw? hmm He was actually being (imo) fairly tactful yet friendly.

World on a plate much?

Blindcavesalamander Wed 20-Jul-11 11:44:22


2shoes Wed 20-Jul-11 11:46:52

yanbu. he shouldn't have made that assumption

2ticks Wed 20-Jul-11 11:47:25

Rightly or wrongly the term 'learning difficulties' is used to cover a whole range of 'conditions' (for want of a better word), I think he was just using that term to show he had an understanding of why someone might receive DLA and carers allowance.

If you wanted to put him straight you could have said, "no, actually he has AS" and moved on. Instead you chose to be rude to him.

You have overreacted and are being unreasonable.

RealityAlt0174 Wed 20-Jul-11 11:47:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheLadyEvenstar Wed 20-Jul-11 11:49:29

Knitted, I don't see why he needed to question anything of what his disability/needs are.

ILT, I was asking for a prepayment meter to be put it. Simply because the usage here is high as in the price i mean.

eurochick Wed 20-Jul-11 11:52:41

YABU. I don't understand why you think that is worth a complaint or why you were rude to him.

pictish Wed 20-Jul-11 11:52:54

Precious much OP? hmm


TheLadyEvenstar Wed 20-Jul-11 11:53:56

sorry xposted with other replies.

I had not finished my end of conversation with him before he made the assumption. Hence why I got annoyed. He had cut in on what I was saying.

OK I was BU to ask if he had learning difficulties, this much I admit but I still don't think he should have made an assumption especially when I was still talking.

I did explain to his colleague that DS has AS. She said she too would have felt the same had an assumption been made.

I won't put in a complaint as clearly I was over reacting.

HappySeven Wed 20-Jul-11 11:53:56

I think he was probably just trying to be friendly although I can see why you would be sensitive. Off topic, do you really want a pre-payment meter? I'm sure I remember there being a lot in the paper about the unit price being higher when paid that way or has that changed?

Littlefish Wed 20-Jul-11 11:54:08

A complete over-reaction on your part.

TheLadyEvenstar Wed 20-Jul-11 11:54:54

Pictish - far from precious.

But why the need to assume?

I was in the midst of my sentence when he made the comment to add to notes on the system.

pictish Wed 20-Jul-11 11:55:43

VERY precious. Get over yourself.

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