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Partner never compliments me

(9 Posts)
Babyhopes88 Tue 19-Jul-11 15:11:32

to get upset that my partner never compliments me when Im dressed up - we will be sitting there watching TV and he will compliment women all the time, He even mentions that his Ex partner was very attractive.
When we first met he told me I was beautiful, Why have things stopped ?

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 19-Jul-11 15:14:21

He's got too comfy smile He's taking you rather for granted. Best bet is to start being more demanding or a little difficult, if necessary. Next time he compliments someone on TV give him both barrels of 'why do you never say that to me, we never go anywhere, I'm fed up with being invisible... ' you know the kind of thing they hate. Keep him on his toes!

TheMagnificentBathykolpian Tue 19-Jul-11 15:20:20

Tell him how you feel.

Do you ever compliment him, btw? Is it a mutual thing you've slipped into?

cheekeymonkey Tue 19-Jul-11 15:25:12

He's YOUR man!

Other men WILL compliment you.

Don't become a whinge just go out dressed up to the nines and get yourself some flattery.

girlywhirly Tue 19-Jul-11 16:07:19

Wait until he says, 'why don't you wear things like X?' as my former H used to say to me, complaining about my clothes while sitting there in old jeans and a jumper he'd had since he was 18!

Either he doesn't think you are worth complimenting, or he takes you for granted so isn't really paying much attention, or he is doing it as subtle bullying to make you feel bad about yourself and undermine your self confidence. There is no need for him to go on about how attractive his ex partner was/is. I say subtle bullying, because it isn't an outright insult about how you look, so you wonder if you're just being silly. YANBU to be upset.

When he compliments what other women look like on the TV, you could say to him, 'you know, you're full of praise for everyone else but me these days, and I find it really hurtful. What is so different from when we first met? You said I was beautiful then.' But be prepared for him to say things you don't want to hear.

Do you compliment him, or isn't there much to compliment him on? From your post I think I'd struggle, he sounds a controlling bully. I suspect that telling you how beautiful you were was very flattering when you first got together, and part of his reeling in technique. Once he had you he stopped trying hard, and concentrated on keeping you, working on your failing confidence so that you won't be able to leave or have an affair. I hope I'm wrong, but if you didn't care what he thought you'd have told him where to go long since.

spookshowangel Tue 19-Jul-11 16:13:35

do you compliment him?.................. oh others have said that but i do believe its just as important to tell your man how hot he is looking. and often they return the favour. also agree that if you go out looking amazing other men will notice revel in that and you dh will notice you enjoying the attention. i wouldnt go all whiney you never say i am pretty. i wouldnt really want a forced compliment and its not attractive.

wicketkeeper Tue 19-Jul-11 22:55:47

Next time you go out, pull out all the stops, make yourself look bloody gorgeous, strike a pose, and say 'Well, what do you think?' If he takes the hint and says nice things, all well and good. If he doesn't, girly might be right. And in the mean time it wouldn't do any harm to pay him some compliments, to kind of show him the way.

Roo83 Tue 19-Jul-11 23:16:17

My OH actually pulled me up on not complimenting him enough. I hadn't realised I was doing it. I think he's gorgeous, but I guess I'd just got used to him being around and didn't always say so. Ever since I've made much more effort, maybe just a reminder is all he needs?

FabbyChic Tue 19-Jul-11 23:21:11

You have both now settled into an established relationship.

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