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To invite my friend to stay

(27 Posts)
Holidaychick Tue 19-Jul-11 13:14:31

I've invited my friend to stay for a week in August. Without telling me dh took time off work to spend that week with me.

We're not going away, can't afford it this year, and I can't get time off. He's sulking and wants me to cancel my friend coming as he doesn't want to entertain him while I am at work.

Dh can't change his time off. He says he doesn't want anyone else in his house in his down time and it's not because my friend is also my ex. My friend will not need looking after and will only be there in the evenings and has recently helped us with a car sale so I feel indebted to him.

Am I being unreasonable? Or should I postpone his visit and spend that time with dh?

StealthPolarBear Tue 19-Jul-11 13:16:03

Well TBH if I was having a week off I wouldn't really want someone else around that I hadn't invited. That said, he is not going to be there during the day.

Paschaelina Tue 19-Jul-11 13:16:11

Did you invite him without mentioning it to your DH then?

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack Tue 19-Jul-11 13:16:31

YABU - can your friend not change his week -it wont make any difference to him if you are gonna be at work anyway.

I would be really cheesed off if I had a week off and DH had a friend staying - I would want to be able to relax in my own house.

Spend the time with DH!

cornflakegirl Tue 19-Jul-11 13:16:48

It's annoying that DH took the time off without discussing it with you - but I guess you're guilty of the same thing if you invited your friend without telling DH.

Just tell your friend that you've suffered a communication failure and postpone the visit.

Holidaychick Tue 19-Jul-11 13:21:15

I did tell dh as soon as my friend said he wanted to come. He's known for a couple of weeks. It's the only week my friend is free.

ImperialBlether Tue 19-Jul-11 13:33:06

So you asked your ex to come for a week and your husband doesn't want him around when he's on his own holiday.

And you're surprised by this?

cornflakegirl Tue 19-Jul-11 13:34:54

Did your DH just forget that it was the week your friend was coming? Or did he book the time off knowingly?

dexter73 Tue 19-Jul-11 13:35:07

I would postpone your friend's trip and spend the time with your dh,

TheMagnificentBathykolpian Tue 19-Jul-11 13:36:32

What's the timeline on this?

You invited your friend and then your husband took the week off work and is now saying he wants to spend it with you and wants you to cancel your friend?

Or your husband booked a week off work and didn't tell you, by coincidence, you then invited your friend, at which point your husband told you that he had already booked that week off for you to spend together?

If the latter, then I'd probably rearrange the friend.

If the former, then I'd be asking my husband why he didn't want my friend to stay.

mayorquimby Tue 19-Jul-11 13:59:26

So how did this come about?
did you both independantly arrange these things and then discover each others plans later? Or did your dh know about the visit and assume you'd taken time off for the visit and decide to synchronise his holiday with you?

purplepidjincantatem Tue 19-Jul-11 14:15:32

DP would think I was BU for inviting an ex boyfriend to stay in our house...

Holidaychick Tue 19-Jul-11 15:58:09

We'd arranged to spend that week together but I forgot to tell dh I couldn't get the time off. My friend was invited later by coincidence on the same week.

cornflakegirl Tue 19-Jul-11 16:42:35

So you made plans with DH, didn't tell him you couldn't get the time off, then invited your friend to stay, and you think he's being unreasonable? If I were your DH I'd be massively annoyed!

WhoAteMySnickers Tue 19-Jul-11 16:46:40

If I had a week off work and my DH had invited his ex to stay I wouldn't be thrilled either.

YABU. Tell your friend the friend the visit is postponed.

dexter73 Tue 19-Jul-11 16:49:16

I'm getting the impression that you would rather spend the week with your ex rather than your dh.

activate Tue 19-Jul-11 16:52:09

you should postpone his visit

mayorquimby Tue 19-Jul-11 17:18:49

In that case you're completely in the wrong here and should postpone. You made plans with your dh, forgot, he organised his holiday and now along with not spending the time with you as planned he may have his holiday time ruined by havbing someone else in his house who he'd be forced to inteact with and entertain when all he wants to do is chill out.

Ormirian Tue 19-Jul-11 17:20:06

Sorry but I'm with your DH. Could your friend come another week?

MrSpoc Tue 19-Jul-11 17:23:23

Sorry but this is a wind up. If its true may be your husbnad isnt comfortable with someone staying who has shagged his wife.

MrSpoc Tue 19-Jul-11 17:25:53

Also you arranged with husband first to have a week together. Failed to tell him you could not get the time off then invited an EX. You are in the wrong.

BlueFergie Tue 19-Jul-11 17:53:45

God there is no way my DH would have someone he even knows and likes stay in our house during his week off. Never mind and ex. If he booked time off on the understanding he was spending it with me and then I couldn't do it and instead invited an ex to come say he would be furious.

Did you tell your DH before you invited this guy or just after the invite was accepted? I would never invite someone to our house without clearing it with DH first and vice versa.

BlueFergie Tue 19-Jul-11 17:54:28

So YABU. IMO you are in the wrong here

ENormaSnob Tue 19-Jul-11 18:00:35


diddl Tue 19-Jul-11 18:01:22

Why did you invite someone to stay when you can´t get the time off?confused

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