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to roll my eyes at my Mum's affair/obsession

(60 Posts)
eyeroll Tue 19-Jul-11 11:50:50

Namechanged for this as some of it might make me recogniseable in RL.

My parents are separated. My Mum has developed some kind of an obsession with an ex-popstar (1970s ish) who she met somewhere recently, and I'm pretty sure she is now having an affair with him (he's married). She and I don't discusss such things but I know she sees hime quite often.

I just find the while thing faintly ridiculous though. She's constantly glued to her mobile, reading or sending texts; she has a calendar of him on her wall. When I visited just the other day she put on a video of his band performing on TOTP; she didn't tell me it was him, or that it was a video, but I thought I recognised him and looked the band up on Wikipedia. After the song finished she changed the channel back to the TV. It was just very odd, maybe she was hoping I'd comment that it was a good song?? If she hasn't seen or heard from him in a while she gets moody and depressed and acts like a grumpy teenager.

She's on FB and sometimes 'likes' things to do with him or his band and the whole thing just makes me roll my eyes. AIBU?

LadyThumb Tue 19-Jul-11 12:00:53

She's got it real bad - just eyeroll and let her get on with it. But be prepared to pick up the pieces when it all fizzles out!

eyeroll Tue 19-Jul-11 12:03:16

Exactly. I can't see it ending well. He has a wife FFS! And I assume she has no idea about my Mum.

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 19-Jul-11 12:04:12

YABU. Your mum is an adult and she's having a bit of fun with her crush. Be sympathetic if it goes wrong but otherwise, leave her be.

eyeroll Tue 19-Jul-11 12:11:10

I see your point cogito and would agree if not for the fact that he's married. If he was single it would be a harmless crush, obviously. And I know that technically he's the one cheating, not her, but it still doesn't sit well with me.

Maybe I'm the one acting like a teenager, embarrassed by my mother's behaviour grin

Mandy2003 Tue 19-Jul-11 12:12:10

Ooo-er, it's not Jim Kerr is it?? The wrath of Liz Jones will descend upon her like a, a, well I wouldn't like to be there when it happens grin

RealityAlt0174 Tue 19-Jul-11 12:12:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CalamityKate Tue 19-Jul-11 12:12:59

What makes you think they're actually having an affair? She's probably fantasising like crazy.

usualsuspect Tue 19-Jul-11 12:14:18

Who is it ? thats all I want to know

NarcissaMalfoy Tue 19-Jul-11 12:14:33

Go on, give us a clue.

eyeroll Tue 19-Jul-11 12:14:34

I know his car has been there overnight. I'm extrapolating from that, although obviously I don't know for sure. But they see quite a bit of eachother.

eyeroll Tue 19-Jul-11 12:16:11

I don't think anyone would recognise his name, although he was in a fairly well-known band for a while.

I really can't say though, the situation might be recogniseable to anyone that knows me or my Mum.

spookshowangel Tue 19-Jul-11 12:17:02

i would imagine she is not the first or last, but dont we all get a bit teenage at the beginning of something new and want to share our happiness with our nearest and dearest. even if she is being the other woman etc.

CupcakesandTwunting Tue 19-Jul-11 12:24:00

I can't possibly comment until I am told the name of one of his songs.

usualsuspect Tue 19-Jul-11 12:34:31

Just one song please , go on [bored]

CupcakesandTwunting Tue 19-Jul-11 12:38:54

Yeah, just one song or we'll start speculating. Which could be worse than truth.

Is it a Bay City Roller?

TheBigJessie Tue 19-Jul-11 12:41:47

Suppose the wife is an MNer? Might it not be an awful way for her to find out her husband is having an affair?

And then it might eventually get back to your mother, who could be pretty upset you discussed it here.

MissPenteuth Tue 19-Jul-11 12:42:51

Exactly, BigJessie. I really can't say. Sorry.

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 19-Jul-11 12:43:15

So what if it's an affair with a married man? She wouldn't be the first to do that or the last. It could end well or it could end badly but at least she's bloody well LIVING while she's got the chance and will have some great memories to look back at when she's in her metaphorical bath chair. It's OK being boring and conventional all your life, but we're a long time dead.

MissPenteuth Tue 19-Jul-11 12:45:16

Haha, namechange fail. Oh well.

LaWeasel Tue 19-Jul-11 12:45:19

Watch out.

My mum had an affair/developed a raging obsession with everything to do with this person's background (so in your case would be a raging 70s obsession!).

Anyway, it all went a bit batshit. Although obviously, there was lots of other stuff going on in her head as well, it was became the point where I bowed out of our relationship because I couldn't cope any more.

northerngirl41 Tue 19-Jul-11 14:27:08

I'm sure your mum put up with lots and lots of uninteresting drivel about your chosen popstar crush when you were a teenager... Or the boring obsessiveness of Thomas the Tank Engine as a toddler... And listening to you drone on and on about how your kids are the most wonderful beings on the planet as a new mum...

I'm not seeing how humouring her a bit is beyond your grasp - after all, she'll have done it for you!

Honestly, smile, nod, grin, ignore what you don't want to hear.

carabos Tue 19-Jul-11 14:30:14

Is it Alvin Stardust? Please say it is grin

MissPenteuth Tue 19-Jul-11 14:53:11

Yes northern, but she isn't a teenager, she's in her fifties! It all just seems a bit adolescent. Of course I'd humour her if she ever actually spoke to me about it though.

northerngirl41 Tue 19-Jul-11 17:23:55

Just as being a toddler, a teenager or a new mum is a phase, I think women of a certain age go thru phases too.... Why not just let her?

My mum is obsessed with John Lewis, yoga and her pet project charity which is utterly pointless to every man, woman, child and their dog, but is important to her, so I put up with it. As I know she put up with all my boring drivel throughout the years!!!

Minor 70s popstar seems more fun - particularly if she actually knows him.

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